Page 35 of Wasted On Us

Eden rears back in surprise, her nose crunching up. “Did I just hear what I think I heard?”

Out of the corner of my eye, I see an overly colorful parrot in the corner perk up at the mention of the name.

Fallon’s eyebrows raise a bit at the parrot’s interjection, but she keeps her professionalism intact, accepting Eden’s ID for verification since we already paid in full online to secure the reservation. “Just ignore him. He’s foul, but my dad loved him, so we’re stuck with him. Weren’t you that girl with the dog that kept barking in the background—Mister…?”

“Friskies. Yep,” she confirms with a roll of her eyes, making the parrot squawk again, this time mimicking a barking dog followed by a swear word.

“Captain Obvious, you’re being rude to our guests!” Fallon scolds the parrot lightly. Eden’s eyes look like they’re going to bulge out of her head. The parrot doesn’t bother me as much as it does her, but with her ADHD, that doesn’t surprise me. Ever since she told me about it the night we met, I’ve been reading up.

Turning back to us, Fallon indulges Eden’s request for a run-through of the amenities. But this time, her delivery is occasionally punctuated by Captain Obvious’s sassy interjections— “Friday party barge, welcome aboard! Booze and boobs, booze and boobs!”

The humorous commentary of the parrot, coupled with the way Eden effortlessly charms Fallon, makes the check-in process far more enjoyable than I ever could’ve imagined. I wonder if my dad would ever go for a NSFW parrot in the lobby of the dealership. Captain Obvious could probably help us sell some cars.

Fallon finally concludes the amenities rundown with a quick apology for the parrot’s manners while handing us a flyer with things we can do and see both at the resort and in the town of Sunset Bluffs. “My dad rescued Captain Obvious a few years ago. Unfortunately, his previous owner had a... colorful vocabulary. We’re trying to train him out of it, but progress is slow as you can plainly see. If you find him offensive, please don’t hold it against the resort.”

Retrieving our key from a drawer, she hands it over, offering a warm smile. “Your cabin is ready. And, if you don’t mind the language, Captain Obvious here has quite a talent for predicting weather.” She grins, pointing to the parrot who squawks once again, “Sunny with a chance of rum! Booze is good. Booze is good.”

We all laugh heartily, our check-in experience transformed into a memorable beginning to our weekend getaway.

Once Fallon hands us the key and we’re done cackling over an obscene bird, an unexpected silence falls over the reception area. Captain Obvious, now calm, sits on his perch, eyes fixated on me, head slightly cocked to one side as if waiting for something. He picks at his feet for a few seconds. But then his beady-eyed glare lands on me again and sticks. If he doesn’t stop, I’m gonna have nightmares in bed tonight. A few moments pass in silence, the parrot’s intense gaze starting to feel a bit unnerving.

Suddenly, with a fluff of his feathers, the parrot squawks loudly, “Thank you, Captain Obvious!” and then, peering at me with an almost accusatory stance, he repeats even louder, “THANK YOU, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!”

Caught off guard, I look at Fallon who just shrugs, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “He won’t stop until you say it back. He insists on being acknowledged for his... contributions,” she explains, trying to stifle a laugh.

Feeling the weight of the parrot’s unwavering gaze, I chuckle and give a mock salute. “Thank you, Captain Obvious.”

With a satisfied bob of his head, the parrot falls silent, his mission accomplished. The tension in the room diffuses as Eden glances over the paperwork to make sure everything is in order.

“You’re on the red path, cabin number four. Once you go out the door here, make a left and keep going until you see the number over the front door. If you have any questions, feel free to call this desk from your cell phone or the landline in your cabin. Enjoy your stay!”

The cabin we pull up to is as inviting as Eden described, comfortably tucked amidst a grove of majestic oaks. Its rustic charm radiates warmth, immediately easing the miles from our bones. The front porch beckons us, adorned with a generously sized swing, its paint worn and weathered by countless seasons. Above, strands of string lights, like a constellation of earth-bound stars, drape in an artful sprawl, their soft glow beginning to twinkle in the oncoming twilight.

As we step inside, it’s as if we’ve been wrapped in a rich, woody embrace. The interior is a charming tribute to its roots, with wooden walls and flooring proudly displaying their age-old grain, each knot and groove telling a tale of years past. Splashes of color and warmth come from an assortment of woven rugs strewn across the floor, their intricate patterns an exquisite dance between the traditional and whimsical.

Eclectic folk art adorns the walls, a vibrant gallery of this region’s culture and history, adding a sense of character and authenticity to the cabin. Each piece is unique and tells its own story, adding layers of intrigue to our cozy retreat.

Dominating the main room is a majestic four-poster bed, its sturdy frame lending an air of rustic grandeur. A sheer, gauzy canopy drapes from its heights, cascading around the bed like a dreamy waterfall. The sight promises a nest of soft comfort after a day of exploration and activities.

As soon as we step inside, Eden sets her bags down, a spark of adventurous curiosity lighting up her eyes. With an eager smile, she ventures further into the cabin, her presence already making the space feel more like a home. The air thrums with promise, and I can’t help but feel that this weekend is going to be one for the books.

She shrieks when she enters the bathroom, and for a split second, I’m terrified she’s found some kind of giant insect or the bodies of the last guests.

“Look. At. This. Bathtub!” she coos, standing in the middle of the room and pointing. I follow her line of sight, and see a massive clawfoot tub, with brass hardware.

“Looks just big enough for two,” I say, bringing her into a hug against my chest. She sighs, then her stomach audibly growls, and we both burst into laughter.

“As much as I’d like to test that assumption, I think we both need something to eat. Road trip snacks are not a real meal, apparently.”

I nod in agreement, and as I watch her get changed for dinner, I start to think this might be the best weekend of my life.

Chapter Fifteen

Eden

I had been nervous about things the entire time I was planning this trip. But judging from the look on Mateo’s face as he pushes around the last few bites of his ribeye, I haven’t made a single error yet. I may have even exceeded expectations.

“Is this going to be a thing with us?”

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