Page 26 of Wasted On Us

My hand finds its way up her back, trembling slightly as it gets tangled in her hair. I try to tug gently, but everything's a blur, sensations and emotions crashing together in a way that's both thrilling and terrifying. Words stumble out of my mouth, tripping over desire and confusion. “Actually, this... this is better than ‘supposed to,’” I manage to choke out, my voice raspy and strained. “This is... different, Eden. It’s... it’s special.”

My mind races, but coherent thoughts are elusive, lost in the storm of longing that has taken over. After a few more frantic strokes, Eden stills, her legs buckling as she cries out. I’m right there with her, riding the aftershocks in tandem, until we both lay limp, draped over the back of the couch, half-dressed and coated in sweat.

Eden is the first to laugh. It infects me with its joyousness, and I find myself giggling just as hard.

“That was… something,” she says, her voice soft and somewhat dazed. “Could you...?” She motions vaguely toward the bathroom, and I understand, chuckling.

“Of course, my lady,” I manage through the laughter, carefully extricating myself from her and sorting out my disheveled clothing. “We’ve tackled dinner, packing, and shared a tsunami of mutual pleasure. Any other heroic deeds you require of me this evening?”

Her smile, tired but glowing, warms me from the inside out. “No. I think I’ve reached my quota for the day. It’s been... quite eventful. I mean I feel like giving my first BJ should be celebrated with some kind of marker.”

I laugh. “Nah, I just hope it’s the first of many. At least thatIget.”

My fingers slide along her jaw until I lean in and kiss her gently on the lips.

I dispose of the condom in the wastebasket while Eden uses the bathroom. When she returns to the sofa and snuggles into my arms, a calm, but somewhat awkward silence descends upon us, but it’s not entirely uncomfortable. This, whatever ‘this’ is between us, is new and exciting, yet tender and vulnerable. “Well, then…” I find myself stammering slightly, not quite ready to sever this connection yet. “I suppose I should head out?”

She meets my eyes, her gaze soft but resolute. “I’m not asking you to leave, Mateo. But I’m not going to insist you stay either.”

I scrub a hand down my face. “I’d really like to stay, but then I’ll have to answer questions from Abuelita, and I’m not prepared for those yet.”

She walks with me toward the door. “Call me sometime, okay? Just understand that I might not always be able to pick up at my parents’ place. They’ve always been a bit overprotective of us girls.”

Her words are far from a commitment, but they hint at something deeper. The uncertainty still lingers, yes, but it’s tinted with anticipation now, not fear. She’s been blowing hot and cold, and I sense there’s more to her hesitation, but I won’t push; she’ll tell me why when she’s ready. Eden’s not the type of girl to hold things back without a very good reason. And when she pulls me in for that final kiss before I step out into the cool night, it doesn’t feel like the end at all. Whatever’s starting between us, it’s real, and it’s potent.

And I want us to figure it out, together.

Chapter Eleven

Eden

I’m not bothered by Mateo leaving last night. On the contrary, it makes it that much easier to lie to myself and insist that none of this means anything. This is still casual. One more night of sex in a half-furnished apartment does not a relationship make. It’s my sexual awakening. I loved it when he licked me, so I wanted to lick him. And then I wanted a dick inside me—a dick attached to a man who cares whether or not I’m pleasured as much as he is.

Mateo is helping me understand my own body and how it works, nothing more.

My shift at the doggie daycare I’ve been placed at doesn’t start until noon, which has allowed me to take my time getting ready today. I’m halfway through making a coffee and taping the last few boxes shut when my phone rings. I automatically assume that it’s Mateo and can’t decide if I’m relieved or dismayed when I realize it’s my sister instead.

“I thought you were going to call me last night. Fill me in on the replacement position offered to you by the temp agency and all that.”

“Something came up,” I blurt without thinking, disappointed by the lack of substance in the excuse the second I say it.

Something came all right. You came.

“Something or someone?” Ensley asks, drawing the second option out for so long that it gains an extra syllable.

God, my sister and her freakish sixth sense is going to be the death of me.

“The second one.”

“Tell me everything,” she commands with a sigh.

“No. Maybe. Okay, fine.” It would feel so nice to tell someone and get an outside perspective on this, rather than carry around this lump of guilt and confusion all by myself. “But promise that you won’t tell anyone? Not even Elowyn. I’ve made a really dumb decision and I don’t want to drag everybody down with me. If anybody finds out that you knew and didn’t say anything… “

“That bad, huh? What did you do?” Ensley pauses, and I can hear her chair roll into position under her desk. She must be getting comfortable and bracing herself for the bomb I’m about to drop on her. “Whodid you do?”

“Remember the day before yesterday when you drove me to work, and I was losing my mind about how I couldn’t work at the dealership?”

“Yeah? Did they make you go back?” There’s a slight edge of anger in her voice as if her fingers are already hovering above her keyboard, ready to send the agency a scathing email on my behalf.

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