Page 49 of Heartless Beloved

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XI

Falling Slowly - Vwillz

What the fuck am I doing?

I’m dying to kiss her. Just a taste of her soft lips, and I’m pretty sure everything would change.

I’ve never had a problem doing whatever needs to be done to achieve my goals. Stab someone who threatened one of my dealers? Done.

Set the Kings’ house on fire to protect my family? Done.

Kill members of the King’s crew who tried to take over one of our territories and only leave one alive so they can warn the others not to try again? Done.

Getting into Alexandra Delacroix’s head to find info about her father should be as easy as taking candy from a baby.

Except that’s the fucking problem.

Itisas easy as taking candy from a baby.

She’s annoyingly naïve and gullible. Getting herself into situations I need to protect her from.

Fuck…I want to protect her.

“Alexandra.”

I should kiss her. Kiss her, fuck her, get her weak for me, and then extract all the info I need. Then I can break her fucking heart in peace, and we will get all the protection we need from Vito. Once we’re safe from the police, the reign of the Kings will be over.

But here I am, barely an inch away from her lips, feeling her breath on my face and inhaling her scent of jasmine.

“Yes?”

And I can’t fucking do it.

Because who has a voice this soft. Like silk on your cheek. A Sunday morning.

Winter at the door, rain on the window. Alexandra is the kind of person you hug in bed, then.

She’s the breeze on a hot summer day, caressing your back and bringing goosebumps of relief to your skin.

I can’t hurt this girl, because my fucking conscience is holding me back.

“It’s a quarter to midnight,” I say low. “What the hell are you doing up and working?”

I want to slap myself in the fucking face. I’ve known myself for twenty-four years, and I’ve come to learn that despite hating everyone, I know what it means when I want to protect someone. I know what it means when I uncontrollably want them safe. It happened once before, and it won’t happen twice. I learned my fucking lesson.

So why do I care if she’s sleeping or exhausting herself with work?

Fuck.

I should have left her on that lot outside of the convenience store.

I should have let her walk home alone, drunk and high off her fucking face.

I should have gone to Xi Ep the second she told me Peach was there.

Alex doesn’t do cocaine. Alex doesn’t even want to get near it.

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