Page 62 of Heartless Beloved

Initiations have officially begun and, so far, we’ve already done three shots, knelt next to our big sisters, and been told that they’ve put cameras in our bedroom for the night. Every time we fail to obey the rules, we’re sent back and have to go on all fours in our bedroom. With our uniform skirt up and our sorority paddle on the floor next to us. Our sisters are allowed to come to the room and spank us. Peach has already been sent back to her room. Of course, the girl can’t stand being told what to do.

Camila keeps going, “Let’s test your knowledge, slaves.”

One by one, we’re called by Camila to answer a question about the sorority. When it’s my turn, I walk to her and bring my hands in front of me, looking at them as she asks, “What does Xi Epsilon stand for, slave?”

Relaxing at the thought that it’s an easy one, I keep looking down as I answer. “It stands forXeinobake Eimi, mistress Camila,” I try to pronounce. Yes, we have to call our sisters ‘mistresses’this week.

She nods and adds, “Bonus point. What does it mean?”

“It means to be mad for the love of a stranger, mistress Camila,” I answer. My heart accelerates, knowing exactly which stranger I am going mad for and finding the irony intense.

“Very good, slave. You may come with us to Zeta Nu.”

The party at Zeta Nu is rowdier than I expected. The frat boys are drunk out of their minds, especially the pledges who have a bottle of liquor taped to each hand. Rap music is playing loudly, and I can barely hear when Harper gives me orders.

Wren stumbles toward me, a massive smile on his face. “Alex!” he shouts in my ear, making me recoil slightly. “You girls are here finally.”

He’s topless and sweaty, his abs prominent and undoubtedly making every other girl stare at him the way I am. Wren is the definition of a hot guy. He’s ridiculously tall, probably the tallest man in this room. His chestnut hair contrasts with his blue eyes, but what we all drool over are his firm muscles he couldn’t hide if he wanted to. Especially his shoulders. We would all fall head over heels for our best lacrosse attacker when we were at Stoneview Prep, but my friend has only ever had eyes for one girl, and she didn’t make it here tonight.

“Is Peach here?” he asks without wasting time.

I shake my head, opening my mouth to explain what happened when someone pulls my hair, dragging me backward from the force.

“Ow,” I gasp, surprised.

“Sorry,” Harper taunts me. “Slaves aren’t allowed to talk at this party.”

I blink at her, confused, until she points at another one of the Xi Ep pledges. She’s got gray duct tape stuck to her mouth. The same kind that’s been used to tape the bottles of liquors to Wren’s hands.

“She talked,” Harper explains.

I look back at Wren, mouth agape, and he explodes into a loud, drunken laugh. “You Xi Ep girls are fucking ruthless. Sorry, Alex. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, I guess.”

Harper nudges me on the shoulder. “Go get me a drink from the kitchen. Pick something I like. If I don’t, you’ll be licking it off the floor.”

I hurry to the kitchen, ignoring the people attempting to talk to me. I can see a couple of other girls from Xi Ep with tape on their mouths and my stomach twists. Initiations are so stupid, but then I think of all the memories my mom told me she had with her sisters at Xi Ep, and I remember once the initiations are done, the fun begins.

It’s just a stupid tradition.

I look at the White Claws on the table, hesitating between raspberry and black cherry, trying to remember which one Harper likes. If she tries to make me lick the drink she spills on the floor, I’m going to have to refuse. She’ll send me home, leading me to spend the rest of the night on my hands and knees, but I don’t care.

I grab the black cherry, observe it, and put it back. I grab the raspberry, hesitating.

“This is ridiculous,” I mumble to myself.

“Black cherry,” a voice says behind me. I startle, looking around to find Xi leaning on the door frame, arms crossed over his firm chest. He’s wearing an oversized white tee that somehow still shows his solid muscles underneath—a beautiful contrast with his bronze skin. The black cargo pants he’s sporting make me wonder how many drugs he’s got in the multiple pockets.

I open my mouth but clamp it back shut. I can’t say anything to him.

“Come on.” He starts walking toward me. One slow step at a time. “Don’t tell me you’re taking this initiation thing seriously and not talking to anyone tonight.”

I avoid his gaze as he stops right in front of me, staring down at me.

His eyebrows scrunch with disappointment. “It really is some privilege shit to be able to create your own problems and force yourself to listen to a bunch of girls on a power trip.”

He touches my cheek, but I turn around, facing the kitchen island again. He’s not wrong, although I won’t stop prevailing just because Xi calls meprivileged. Of course I am. I’m from Stoneview. It doesn’t get more privileged than that. Yet while we might live different lives, I’m not going to stop living mine because he disagrees with it.

Yes, initiation is a stupid problem we make up for ourselves, but I want to become a Xi Ep girl, and I refuse to let him make me feel stupid for it.

---