Page 108 of Pause

WHEN MY ALARMgoes off, I wonder if I slept a wink. How did Slade not see right through me last night? I wasn’t exactly subtle. And he didn’t take the bait. Not even a nibble.

Maybe I’m about to suffer the same fate as Kelly, the merry-go-round girl. There’s nothing wrong, but it isn’t right either.

I’m done with pausing my life. I’m so ready to press play. More like fast forward. It kills me to think Slade’s not ready for marriage yet.

No. That’s insecurity talking. I’m ignoring her.

I exit my room to find Slade, Joss, and Dex whispering among themselves at the kitchen table.

They stop when I enter the room.

“Hey, what’s up?” I ask.

“Nothing much,” Slade says, avoiding my eyes.

Joss’s alarm on her phone chimes. Both she and Slade rush off to the front desk. He doesn’t even give me a quick good morning kiss.

Dex raises his eyebrows and smiles at me. “Just a regular day at Sheridan House.” He retreats to Slade’s office and closes the door. He’s replacing Slade’s computer system, bringing him up to date on the technology end.

Is it my imagination or is everyone acting weird? I go about my duties, waiting for Slade’s visit. He always visits me as I clean, even if it’s only for a few minutes.

He doesn’t today.

When I go downstairs for lunch, Slade isn’t there. We always eat lunch together. Always.

“Where’s Slade?” I ask Joss.

“Oh, he had some errands to do.”

I hesitate. He didn’t tell me. He always tells me where he’s going. I mean, he doesn’t have to. I don’t need to know where he is every minute of the day, but he lets me know out of common courtesy. I glance at my phone. No messages.

“I’m not very hungry. I think I’ll grab a nap while I have the chance.” Is something off today or am I just being sensitive? I’m not sure.

Joss looks alarmed. “Wait. Are you sick?”

Yes, I have wedding fever. “Nothing a nap won’t cure.” I finished cleaning the guest rooms early. I thought my old room was being vacated today, but it still had the cleverDo Not Disturbsign on it. One less room for me to clean. I’m done for the day.

I curl up on my bed, eyebrows furrowed. Is Slade avoiding me today? Maybe he knew what I was hinting at last night, and he can’t face me. Maybe he regrets his hasty proposal so early in our relationship. I know he loves me, but maybe it’s too soon for him. If that’s the case, I need to respect his feelings.

I try giving him a call. He doesn’t pick up.

I release a deep sigh. I don’t want to work for happiness anymore. I want it to fall in my lap.

I twirl my engagement ring on my finger, not wanting to part with it. My attachment has nothing to do with the ring and everything to do with the promise behind it.

I drift off at some point. The next thing I know, someone’s knocking on my door.

“Marin? It’s dinnertime.” It’s Joss.Not Slade.

I sit up too quickly, making my head spin. “I’ll be right out.”

Slade always makes dinner, now that Sheridan House is back to normal. If dinner’s ready, that means he’s home. Good. I need time to gauge his mood. I’ll know everything after one glance at his face.

Staring at my worried reflection in the bathroom mirror, I touch up my makeup and brush my hair. Time to face Slade, figure this out.

When I step out of my room, I find Joss and Dex sitting at the table with take-out strewn across the surface.

I stop in my tracks. “Take-out tonight? Where’s Slade?”