Page 89 of First Impressions of You

Olivia goes to open the door, but before she can reach the doorknob, it opens from inside, and my heart somersaults inside my chest.

The sight of Winter standing on the other side of the door sends a mix of surprise and elation through my body.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, and he dimples at me. But I can see that his smile doesn’t reach his eyes. Eyes that I immediately notice are brimming with exhaustion and reflecting the sorrow I’m sure he can see in mine.

“I’ll leave you guys to talk,” Julia says without hesitation.

“No, you stay. We’ll go over there.” I nod to the lounge area in front of the stairs that we took to get the third floor.

“So,” I encourage him to start.

“I miss you,” he says as if he can’t help himself, just like the sun can’t help rising every day.

“You’re here because you missed me?” I try to make sense of his words through the dense fog of remorse they cause in my brain.

“Sorry, no. I came to talk to the dean.”

“Why?”

He eyes me with that look that asks, Do you really not know why? “Cam told me yesterday. I came here because I needed to do for Olivia what no one was able to do for me years ago.”

The fact that he still showed up. That he still had the urge to help my sister despite what happened between us, despite the fact that I broke his heart two days ago by leaving him. This is the moment I know, with unshakable certainty that I could never not love him.

That trying to stop myself from loving him is as fruitless as expecting winter not follow after autumn.

I can’t bring myself to say anything.

“You have to know,” he says, resting his elbows on his knees, leaning forward to grasp my hand between his. “Surely you have to know that I would always, always do anything for you. Anything for the people you love.”

“What about the NDA?” I ask softly.

“It forbids me to publicly discuss it outside the circle of people who were involved in the process.” I blink at his answer, still confused. “This is my school. Elysian is my alma mater. It all happened here. The dean already knew about what happened to me, but it was under a different professor.”

“I didn’t know.” I turn my hand to hold his. To intertwine my finger with his. I don’t ever want to let go. “Thank you,” I whisper.

“You don’t have to thank me.”

“I do. I have to.”

His breath becomes quicker, as his eyes find mine, looking right into them, trying to find the meaning behind my words. But I want to make it easy for him. I don’t want him to have to search for it. I don’t want him to ever doubt it again.

“I do have to thank you,” I say in a breathy voice. “Not only for what you did for Olivia, but also for finding me. For seeing me and choosing to love me. For choosing to keep loving me even when I didn’t know if I could be loved.”

“It was never a choice,” his low, deep voice says adoringly. “From the moment I saw you, I never stood a chance. But if I did…” He brings his hand to cup my face. “I’d choose to love you over any other option. I’ll always choose to love you.”

“I don’t think I ever stood a chance either,” I confess. “I’ve just been too afraid to let myself admit that I love you, but…” I mirror his gesture, cupping his face in my hands too. “Loving you has been inevitable for a long time.”

He closes the distance between us, pressing his mouth to mine in a soft kiss.

I breathe him in, relishing in the familiarity of the cinnamon taste of his lips.

“In January, I might…” I start, but he brings a finger to my lips, interrupting my words.

“We’ll worry about that later.” With one last long exhale against my skin, he retreats and looks me in the eyes. “We do this for however long we have. I’m yours, Sunshine. I don’t want to be anybody else’s. ”

“I’m yours too.” It’s all I can answer.

It feels like forever before Olivia comes out of the dean’s office. Winter tries to reassure me, saying he’s positive the dean will side with her. Rationally, I know this is the most likely outcome, but I can’t stop worrying.

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