Page 85 of First Impressions of You

“Do you know why Olivia wanted to move here?” Julia takes a sip of her coffee. I shake my head. “She looks up to you, Luli. She always has. Moving here, studying screenwriting—that’s all because of you. She worships you, and it kills me that you don’t see that.”

“Did you always know she was studying screenwriting?” Julia confirms with a nod. “Why did she never tell me?”

“Did you ever ask?” she volleys back, and I feel a pang of guilt hit my chest. “What Mom did… What she and Dad did to you was shitty. They should’ve never done that. But it’s not Olivia’s fault. And it’s not her fault that they learned from their mistakes instead of repeating them.”

“Did they, though? Learn?”

“I think they did.” She takes another sip of her coffee. Mine is forgotten in my hand because I don’t think I can get anything past the lump that is lodged in my throat. “They’re rooting for you, Luli. They tell everyone at the clinic that their kid will be a movie star.”

“They never said that to me.”

“Yeah.” She lowers her eyes. “They still have a lot more to learn. But,” she continues, locking her eyes on mine again, “would you really prefer that Mom and Dad did the same things to Olivia that they did to you? Aren’t you happy she was spared that?”

“Of course,” I answer quickly because it’s true. I’d never want her to suffer the way I did. “It’s just…”

“You wish you hadn’t gone through that either,” she offers.

“Yeah.” I take a deep breath. “I resent her because I always felt that they gave her all the support they never gave me.”

“I’m sorry you went through all of that.” Julia reaches for my hand, and I quickly grab it. “It wasn’t fair. But it’s not fair to resent Olivia for that either.”

“I know,” I agree.

A weight is lifted off my chest. I can practically hear the sigh of relief from my heart, as it can now grow, filling out the gaps left by this feeling of resentment I was holding on to.

Julia doesn’t tell me what happened to Olivia last night. She says it’s Olivia’s story to tell, but I have rehearsal at noon, and I know I won’t rest until I know what’s going on.

I open the door to their room and leave it slightly ajar, letting the morning light filter in. Her bed is positioned on the wall opposite the door, so the light hits it harder than it does Julia’s.

Olivia squints and shifts position but doesn’t wake up.

Sitting at the foot of her bed, I gently shake her leg. “Liv,” I call her by the nickname I haven’t used in years. It simply rolls out. I didn’t even think of doing it.

“Uhm?”

“Liv, wake up.”

She turns to face me, eyes half open. “Luli?”

“Hey, sorry to wake you.” She looked so peaceful sleeping I really didn’t want to wake her up. But I had to if I wanted to talk to her before leaving for work.

All at once, she seems to wake up. Like her body suddenly flipped the switch, and she’s now on full alert.

“Luli, I’m so sorry,” she says wrapping her arms around me.

“Whoa, hey.” I hug her back. “What are you sorry about? I’m the one who should be apologizing to you. I was a dick.”

“I didn’t mean to make you feel like you couldn’t be upset about the poster. I’m sorry I did. I’m sorry I said you were making a big deal out of it. It is a big deal.”

“No, you were right,” I comfort her. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Liv. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you since you got here. Hell, I think even before that. I resented you for the things our parents did to me, and that wasn’t fair.”

“I didn’t know what they’d done to you. You don’t need to apologize.”

“I do. Because what they did to me was not your fault, and you shouldn’t have paid for it.”

“I forgive you,” she says.

“Good.” We share a smile, and I squeeze her in a bear hug. “Now, please tell me what happened last night.”

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