Page 56 of First Impressions of You

“I liked acting,” I say again. He shoots me a glare, but I give him a sheepish smile in return. “I…” I adjust my position in the chair and clear my throat. “You know those plays you used to act out with your sister? I did the same with mine.”

“Julia?” he asks.

I shake my head. “Olivia.”

I think this is the first time I open this door. This memory of me and Olivia playing in the living room of our parents’ apartment has been tucked away in a forgotten corner of my mind.

Our differences in the last years have been screaming so loud, that I’d forgotten she was once my partner in crime. The two youngest sisters in a house full of chaos.

“She was five, and I was ten. She tried to pull that same shit your sister did, but I wouldn’t let her.” A guilty smile curls my lips at the memory. Olivia would always ask me to let her be the princess, but I always said no. I’d use some misguided logic to explain to her why I needed to play the princess that day, and then the next day, I’d do the same. She was too young to see right through my bullshit.

“I did let her come up with the stories, though. She was a great storyteller,” I joke. Then the smile drops from my face as I remember the green envelope and the conversation we had. Olivia’s always loved creating stories, hasn’t she? Was I too busy being annoyed by her that I forgot to pay attention?

“Luiza?” Winter says my name so gently, it feels like a warm caress. I shake my head. I’ll think about Olivia later.

“I never…” I try, but the words get stuck in the lump that has suddenly formed in my throat. I start again. “I was always very shy. At school, I lived under my older sisters’ shadows. I always kept to myself. When I was in my first year of high school, our literature teacher gave us a semester-long assignment. We had to put together a short film telling the story of a book. My group got O Filho Eterno, The Eternal Son. I can still remember that book so well. I guess she was right that telling the story is the best way to never forget it. Anyway, I played the mother. I hadn’t acted since those plays Olivia and I put together when we were kids. I had forgotten how much fun I had doing that, but it was different then. When I was playing the mother, I felt like…” I fail to find the right words to describe it.

“Like you could finally step out of your sisters’ shadows?” Winter offers. His eyes are soft, comforting, those amber flames more like a warm fireplace in a cold day than a wildfire. We’ve both leaned onto the desk without realizing, our voices low, only for each other.

“Yes,” I answer quietly, holding on to the lifeline he gave me. There’s more to it, but I’ve already shared too much. He nods in understanding. “After that, I joined a theater group in my city and fell madly in love with it.”

“Did you always know you wanted to pursue a career?”

I arch an eyebrow. “It’s my turn to ask a question.”

“Right.” He seems to have forgotten we’re in the middle of an exercise in rehearsal. For a moment there, I forgot too. It had all felt like a natural conversation. It had even felt… good talking to Winter.

“Did you know Emily before this?”

“Yes.” He doesn’t elaborate, and I don’t have time to ask more. “Did you really not know me before? Or about me?”

“Hate to burst your bubble, Winter, but nope. I was not president of your fan club. I didn’t even know you existed, and…” I drop the sentence before I finish, thankfully realizing what I was about to say before I said it.

“And?” he prompts, but I shake my head. “Just say it. I guarantee you I can take it.” He gives me a suggestive look, and I easily fill in the blanks of what he’s not saying. After yesterday, he can take anything I throw his way.

“After what everything you said to me when we first met, I kind of wished I had never met you at all.”

He winces. “You still do?” When our eyes meet, I see a flash of the same vulnerability I saw yesterday. “Wish you’d never met me?”

“The jury’s still out,” I give him the only honest answer I can before realizing it wasn’t his turn to ask.

Chapter 16

Neither Winter nor I end up talking to any other cast member. We spend the entire time asking each other questions, and somehow we manage to avoid the elephant in the room. When Emily dismisses everyone after I have no idea how long, I breathe a sigh of relief.

We managed an entire day without fighting. That’s cause for celebration.

“Luiza,” Winter calls me before I can make it out of Sheriff’s Gate. Maybe I celebrated too early. “Can I talk to you?”

I pretend to check my phone. “Sorry. I… If I don’t catch the bus now, it’ll be another hour.”

“I can drive you home,” he offers, and I curse myself for the lousy excuse I came up with. “It’ll be quick. I just… About yesterday, there’s somet—”

“Not here,” I cut him off. Wherever it is he wants to say, it’s better that we don’t have this conversation where anyone can walk by and eavesdrop. “We can talk at my place.”

He hesitates for the briefest moment, then nods.

It’s only when I walk through the door of my apartment that I realize the reason for his hesitation. I’m quickly swarmed by memories of yesterday.

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