Page 46 of First Impressions of You

I run a hand over my face, impatient.

“Olivia, it’s called working hard. Every day counts. When you want something hard enough, you’ll get it. You might not understand, but I can’t just decide not to work whenever I want.”

The words are out before I can hold them in. The plan not to start a fight flying over the window and landing with a splash dead on the floor.

“You know what? Screw you, Luiza. You’re so quick to throw stones at me, and you don’t even know me anymore. You haven’t for years. I don’t fucking know what I did to you, but I know damn well I don’t deserve the way you’ve been treating me. But even if I did, Julia sure doesn’t. And she needs you. She’s been miserable, and you haven’t even noticed. Your sister is hurting, but I guess you’re too busy working to care.”

Her hand finally drops away from the door, and it slides close as I watch Olivia walk away.

I arrive at our apartment soaked. After trying and failing to rehearse for half an hour, I finally gave up and decided to go home.

Not that I hadn’t believed Olivia, but she does have a flare for the dramatics. I don’t think Julia’s actually going through anything other than probably a hard time with her classes, but a heavy feeling in my stomach kept nagging at me until I got a bus home.

The house is quiet and gloomy. Almost as if the grey from outside had found its way in. Apart from the shower running, there’s no sign of life inside. I’m not even sure Julia is home. What if I just wasted a few hours of rehearsal for nothing? For a tantrum my younger sister decided to throw?

But then I hear the soft sound of a page turning, and I know I’ll find Julia buried in her textbooks in their bedroom.

Sure enough, I poke my head inside, and she’s sitting at her desk, one hand holding her head and the other skimming over the page of a textbook.

“Hey.”

Julia jumps in her chair. “Oh my God. You scared me. I didn’t know you were home. What time is it?” She immediately grabs her phone to check the time. I realize she’s surprised to see me home so early.

“Came home early today. Studying?”

“Yeah, but I’m tired.”

“Take a break. Let’s get a bite to eat.”

“You’re wet,” she points out, just now realizing the state I’m in.

“Have you looked outside?” She does, following my gaze out the window. “Is it too early for dinner?”

She shrugs. “When in Rome.”

I get worried immediately. If there’s one thing Julia hasn’t adapted to since moving here, it’s early dinner. Back in Brazil, we have dinner around eight or nine in the evening, but I’ve had some years to getting used to dinner when the sun’s still out. Julia hasn’t. And the fact that she doesn’t have a problem with having dinner now, when it’s barely six, lights up a warning sign in my brain.

“You okay?” I ask once she gets up to follow me into my room. I change out of my wet clothes before going to the kitchen.

“Yeah, why?”

“You said yes to dinner at six.”

She rolls her eyes at me.

We start preparing the meal in companiable silence. Brazilian pancakes resemble crepes but are mostly eaten with savory fillings. I’m making Julia’s favorite, pulled chicken with Catupiry, a creamy cheese we can only find at the Brazilian store. The smell of garlic and onion sizzling in the pain is like a portal transporting us back to our parents’ home. Dad couldn’t make anything without garlic and onion. He said food was tasteless without it. I never dared to disagree.

Olivia walks out of the bathroom drying her hair in her towel. She doesn’t say anything, but she gives me a knowing look before shutting herself in her bedroom. I think she’s giving me and Julia time to talk on our own.

“So,” I start, handing Julia the first flat disk for her to fill up with the filling and roll it the way we do in Brazil. “Did anything happen?”

“Did Cam tell you?” Her question catches me by surprise.

“He didn’t say anything to me. What’s going on?”

“I…” she tries, but her voice breaks. My chest aches knowing that whatever she’s about to say won’t be good. “Remember that night we all went to The Reel Pub?”

The night he told her he loved her.

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