Page 9 of Hogging the Hunk

“You mean, am I happy here?”

Maybe I wasn’t a clairvoyant, but apparently my daughter was. I smirked as I put the kabobs on the hot grill. They sizzled and juices dripped, feeding the flames. “Yeah, I guess that’s what I’m getting at.”

“I think so. The kids I met at school were nice. I like that you have a big yard. All the trees around here are pretty.”

“That’s one of my favorite parts about living here. You just wait a couple of weeks when the leaves start changing. Autumn never disappoints.”

“By saying that, you know you’re opening me up for possible disappointment.”

“You’re going to make me prove it, aren’t you?”

“Well, you can’t say something is gorgeous without proving it.”

“Fine. We’ll go for a hike sometime. I know a place where we’d get an incredible view, and hardly anyone else knows about it.”

Her face lit up like I told her there was a puppy in one of her Christmas presents. “I’ve never been hiking. Mom and nature didn’t get along.”

I said nothing. Lexi’s untimely passing was still fresh enough that it was often accompanied by Ellie’s tears. “I like to go when I can. There’s something about being outside. The fresh air, the trees, the quiet.”

“You’re not thinking about growing one of those gross, bushy beards, are you?” She giggled, clearly imagining my altered state. “Or start wearing pants made of hemp and go without shoes? I bet you’ll try to make me hug a tree.”

“I wouldn’t stop you if you wanted to.”

Responding to my teasing with no hint that she thought I was her lame, old dad, I smiled. If I had been mature enough to plan out my life before I was old enough to start living it, I wouldn’t have taken this route. Up until I’d straightened myself out and gotten myself into vet school, I was as good as a clueless hiker who’d wandered off trail. There was the occasional amazing experience that accompanied the mere fact that I was alive. All that was luck. Mostly, I was stumbling around in the dark, fortunate I didn’t metaphorically fall off a cliff and break my neck.

Finding out I was a father was one of those amazing things. Ellie was the reason I was the man I was today, with my feet firmly on a path of responsibility. Things might have started out rough for her, but here with me now, I would do anything to make sure she knew she was safe with me.

If I had been more like Beckett, who had made a plan and stuck with it, I wouldn’t have been scrambling to make up for lost time now.

You need a serious Beckett detox.

While I was absorbed in my internal aside, trying to wrestle Beckett from my thoughts while forgiving myself for my past, Ellie had also grown quiet. Watching her without being overt about it, I noticed her hands fidgeting as I turned the kabobs. She had something to say and was hesitating. There was a clog blocking her from complete joy. As much as I wanted to wrestle it from her, patience was the key to success.

“There is one thing.” She had gone back to quiet.

“One thing what?”

“One thing that I’ve been wondering about. I think it would make everything here even better.”

My heart pounded so hard I could barely hear around the pulse in my ears. Ellie probably already knew I was wrapped around her finger and would do anything to secure her happiness, so all she had to do was ask. If spoiling her by granting her every wish made me a terrible father, then so be it.

“I’m listening.”

“You’re a vet and you love animals, probably even more than anyone I’ve ever met.”

I raised my eyebrows at her. “That’s a fair observation.”

“Then why don’t you have any here? At home?”

Plating the kabobs, I turned off the grill. “Why don’t I have any pets?”

“Yeah.”

She wasn’t the first to ask, so I already had an answer prepared. “I suppose it’s because I’m busy with animals all day, making sure they’re being taken care of. I’ve never wanted one here unless I could give it the love and attention it needed. I want to make sure they’re getting the best of me, not just what’s leftover at the end of the day. Does that make sense?”

“I guess.”

Sitting on the porch railing, she watched her feet as she swung them. A vision of her opening up a box on Christmas morning to find a snuggly puppy inside prompted words to tumble out before I properly considered them.

---