Page 4 of The High Price Of Loneliness

Looking right into Edward’s eyes, she replied, “Who said I was going to sleep with you either?” She smiled broadly, relieved that the conversation was finally out in the open. Her mind raced excitedly that Gray was already thinking of her that way.

She heard Edward’s tone shift a bit more seriously, and he hesitated before speaking as he told her, “Angelica, there is something you should know about me. I may not be right for you or what you are looking for, and I would rather be open and upfront.”

Her smile faded a bit as she asked with hesitation, “Edward, tell me more about what you mean…exactly?” Her facial expression and body language now seemed a bit confused.

Edward leaned back and paused before he explained with a slight grin, “Well, you see, I have certain drives—certain preferences and appetites that may not be for you. You could say…I like a bit of ‘kink in my coffee.’”

The easy and natural smile finally returned to Angelica’s eyes, and she immediately responded, “That’s not necessarily a bad thing at all!”

Edward gave fair warning of what might lay just around the corner. “Well, before you jump to the next level, you should know, for example, that I have a Red Playroom here at home—which comes complete with two rules. You may not find it to be your cup of tea.”

Angelica felt her blood racing and her adrenaline coursing with excitement, hearing Edward’s deep and sexy voice guiding her gently forward. Her better judgment was trying to press the “pause button” but with no such luck. She heard her voice asking, “What are the two rules?” all the while, thinking quietly to herself, as her mind was wandering—and wondering,What was this Red Playroom?but she dared not ask, at least not yet.

CHAPTER TWO

The Two Rules

Looking into Edward’s gaze, Angelica felt powerfully drawn to his masculine energy. But she felt a mixture of both nervousness and excitement to hear the answer to her question, about his “two rules.” Were they about to cross a line from which there was no safe return? Her eyes were pleading with Edward to share some things that were very personal.

She could see Edward thinking carefully, as he knew full well, that once delivered, they could not be unsaid. He began slowly. “Since you asked, let me start by answering you in the least intimidating way that I can, to explain the two rules. If we decide to pursue this powerful attraction, that we both are feeling, further, Angelica, then whenever we are in the Red Playroom, Rule Number One is: You may never have me inside of you.”

Angelica heard his words but did not believe her ears. Surely, she had misunderstood him. She blurted in surprise, “What?”

Angelica’s face said it all, so Gray quickly continued, adding, “Unless…” (she would soon learn there is always an “unless”). With quite a different meaning set in this newly added context, he repeated for emphasis, “Unless you are already climaxing very, very hard.”

Angelica’s mind, now racing with all the implications of Rule Number One sat silently as she processed what this tectonic shift might mean for her frustrated experience with intimacy. She found herself listening ever more closely as his deep voice continued to draw her into this new world. “You see Angelica, if you think about it for a moment, most boys that you have been with, and I use the word ‘boys’ intentionally here, most likely have already figured out how to easily please themselves.” He paused, then continued, “But they may not have invested the time … and energy to truly discover all the different ways to please their woman. All the different ways that can make your body shake like a leaf. Do you know that feeling right before you climax? When your core is just trembling? When you are just at the edge…” His voice trailed off.

Angelica’s mind was still stuck on the part that “most boys have learned how to please themselves.” But she dared not answer his last question. Embarrassed at her only true answer, she had no words to explain her dire dilemma. “Maybe, I think so,” she muttered softly, looking shyly down at her hands.

She was relieved to hear him continue, so she would not have to elaborate. “Well, when you commit yourself to one Dominant male energy in your life, who truly understands this lifestyle, he takes ownership of that journey to complete joy for his submissive. And, over time, you get to a place where you can quickly and easily get to that state—each and every time, and often repeatedly. But that is the point that brings us to Rule Number Two, which is the catch.”

Angelica still kept her personal dilemma with her sexuality a secret, as he now led her to door number two. She asked with interest and a bit of intrigue, “Ok, Edward, I’ll bite. What then, is Rule Number Two?”

What she heard next was beyond unexpected. It floored her. His words came tumbling out slowly for dramatic effect. “Rule Number Two says you are not allowed to climax.”

Interrupting him instantly, she retorted, “What! Then what is the point?” with a face that was unmistakably disappointed. This had not been part of her childhood dream of being “swept away” by her prince in a blissful escape from earth to heaven. She looked intently into Edward’s face for some sign, seeking some sense of purpose to this painful point. The feeling rolled full circle as she saw the sly smile of the magician about to do his “great reveal.” The secret was about to be shown to her, it appeared, as she temporarily suspended her first instinct, to now listen to the finale.

Gray added the all-important, “Unless.” (There was that darn “unless” again.) He repeated for its full effect, “Unless you ask for…permission first.”

Angelica liked this more fully refined version far better but now quickly pivoted in her thinking. Seeking to corner Gray on his purpose, she wanted to know his reason for Rule Number Two. Challenging him with a coy smile, she asked, “So, Rule Number Two is so you feel you have control over me, right?”

A slight knowing smile crept onto Edward’s face, as he paused to reflect on her question, but then took on a different tone as he went deeper, bringing her with him as he guided her further down the rabbit hole.

“Perhaps a little, but the real reason for Rule Number Two is quite something else altogether. Rule Number Two is about our desire for forbidden fruit. Remember when you were little, maybe 5 or 6 years old, during the holidays, and Mom, Dad, or Grandma told you, “Angelica, you can’t have any of those special cookies. Those are for company tomorrow night,” Gray smiled as he continued the story. “Oh, my god, you were just 5 years old. What was in those special cookies? Now, you just couldn’t stop thinking about them. You probably even had the thought cross your mind—I’m going to have to sneak one of those cookies later when no one is looking!” He finished with a charming smile: “Forbidden fruit. We all want—what we can’t have.”

Angelica nodded and said, “I can see that.”

Gray leaned into her ear and added, “So moments ago, your subconscious mind just heard that you are not allowed to climax. Without permission, that is. The real purpose of Rule Number Two is to create that secret desire for what is forbidden. And it will help you get there faster, more times, and harder—than ever before.”

Angelica’s mind was racing. Should she tell Edward about her issues? How could she explain that she had never had that type of climax before, at least not with a partner? She thought she might have had some little ones—sort of—by herself, but she was never a hundred percent sure, and she certainly never talked about it with a man before.

She didn’t want to lose Edward’s passionate attention; his gaze, the way he looked at her, and the way it made her feel. If she said something, would he judge her and lose interest? She now worried that perhaps she was not enough for him—with all that he wanted from a partner.

But there was something about the way Edward spoke to her, the way he made her feel comfortable, she just felt she should take the risk. Perhaps, it was now or never. Angelica summoned some courage to share her worry. “May I ask a question, Edward?”

His voice was calm. “You may ask anything of me.”

She swallowed hard and finally let it out, “Well, what if I can’t? I mean, what if I’m not able to ‘get there’ with your Rule Number Two? What would that mean?”

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