Page 78 of Poisoned Vows

I know, above anything else, that I don’t want my father to have the kind of power he’s grabbing for. And I know I don’t want what he has planned for me. “Please stop.”

My father jerks his head towards something behind me, and I turn around to see two huge guards in cargo pants and black shirts coming toward me. “Put her in a cell with the other one,” he says sharply. “She can think about her loyalties there.”

“What?” I gasp, trying to step out of their reach, but there’s no chance of it. “No, I—stop it! Don’t touch me.”

“Leave her alone!” Nikolai roars, but the words are cut off in a groan of pain. I don’t see what’s happened to him, and I’m ashamed to say that a part of me is glad I don’t. I’m not sure how much more of this I can take.

The two guards grab me, dragging me out of the room, even as I twist and kick in their grasp. I know it’s useless—there’s no way I’m getting out of this.

They’re not overly rough with me, but I can’t bring myself to care one way or another. All I can think about is Nikolai, tied up in that room, at my father’s mercy—and it doesn’t seem as if he has much of it. I don’t know why that surprises me a little, after all the years I spent on the other end of his “teaching.” But I hadn’t knownthismuch violence was in him.

If he succeeds at what he’s trying to do—

I can’t let myself think that’s possible. If it is—then there’s no hope for any of us. I’d rather die than give in to what my father wants from me—and I imagine I will, if I fight him for too long and too hard.

Or he’ll lock me up and take what he wants.

I feel sick at the thought. The guards march me down the hall, down to a row of cells, and I gasp when I see inside of the one we stop in front of.

I don’t recognize the girl sitting inside at first, the same way I hadn’t recognized Nikolai. But this time, it’s not because she’s physically hurt so much as that it just seems as if everything has been drained out of her. Her long blonde hair is hanging limply around her face, stringy and greasy, and her face is so pale that it looks almost translucent. She looks thinner than before and so utterly exhausted that I half-expect her to pass out at any moment.

“Marika?” I whisper her name, and she looks up tiredly, her eyes widening a fraction when she sees me, as if that’s all she can muster.

“Lilliana.” She breathes my name sadly, and one of the guards yanks the cell door open, the other one shoving me unceremoniously inside.

“The two of you can catch up. Have fun, ladies.” He slams the door shut, and I flinch as I hear the lock turn.

If we get out of this, I never want to be locked in another room for the rest of my life.

“Are you alright?” I go to her immediately, sitting on the thin cot beside her and gently reaching out to push her hair out of her face. She flinches away from my touch, and I instantly wish I hadn’t tried. I should have known better.

“Compared to Nikolai?” she laughs bitterly. “They showed him to me this morning, you know. I saw what they’ve done. I can only imagine how much worse it’s gotten since then.”

“I just saw him, too,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry, I—”

“It’s not your fault.” She turns her head and sees the expression on my face. “You really think I thought you had anything to do with this? I know men like your father, Lilliana. I’ve grown up around them my whole life. Men grasping at straws, at power any way they can get it. Nikolai is a violent man, too. But he never needed to reach for power. Your father is a small man, and he can’t get high enough to grab it without making a tower of bodies underneath him to climb up and stand on.”

She swallows hard. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t say that about—”

“No, you should.” I reach for her hand, squeezing it lightly. “My father is a horrible man. He always has been. He raised me to be sent into your father’s bed, knowing I might not make it out alive—and the first part of that would have been bad enough. I spent my whole life being groomed for one man’s pleasure and another man’s ambition.”

“Oh, Lilliana.” Marika looks at me sadly. “I can’t even imagine. And then Nikolai—”

“I know he was trying to keep me out of your father’s hands. And I don’t want to speak ill—”

“It’s alright.” Marika gives me a small, sad smile. “I’ve already been told he’s dead. I’m sad, of course—he was my father, and he wasn’t the worst one. Thereareworse in our world. You know that; I understand now. But he wasn’t a good father either. I can’t say I’ll grieve him for a very long time.”

Her shoulders slump, as if saying all of that took something out of her, but she doesn’t let go of my hand. “I don’t know what’s going to happen to us.”

“I know what my father wants to happen to me,” I tell her what he said, in the room with Nikolai, and Marika winces.

“I don’t even know what to say. That’s—”

I nod, swallowing hard. “Someone will help.” I try to find some conviction to put into my voice. “Nikolai must have people loyal to him. Someone who will come.”

Marika nods. “He has plenty. My brother has always been brutal when it comes to our enemies—but anyone who is loyal to us has reason to respect him.” She looks at me as she says it, frowning a little. “I know this is probably hard for you to believe. I know you have reason to hate him, I’m sure. I don’t blame you—you didn’t ask for any of this. But he’s a good man, in his own way. He looks out for the men underneath him. He ensures their families are taken care of. Their widows, their children—if it comes to that. He doesn’t ask things of them that he isn’t willing to do himself. And that matters in our world.”

She’s silent for a long moment, breathing slowly, in and out. It makes me wonder what’s happened to her while she’s been here. “He has always had a code. I can’t say I’ve always thought it was enough. He’s done things I can’t say are forgivable—at least to those he’s done it to. But I know he’s always tried to be better—than the world around him. Our world.”

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