Page 69 of Poisoned Vows

There’s a long silence, and then when I set the glass down, he reaches out, pushing a piece of wet hair out of my face. “I thought you were going to die,” he says quietly, almost as if he’s reassuring himself that I’m still alive, and I don’t know what to make of it.

I know even less what to make of it when his hand presses gently against my face, drawing me towards him as he bends his mouth to mine.

He’s never kissed me like this before. It’s soft and slow, his lips grazing over mine, as if he’s worried I might break. I know I should pull away, tell him that I don’t want him, but I’ve never been kissed like this before at all, and Ilikeit. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know I’m supposed to be horrified by that—but his lips feel good. They’re soft and warm, his fingers brushing along my cheekbone as he cups my face. I unconsciously lean in, my hands sinking against the warm wool of his sweater as his tongue sweeps over my lower lip.

Nikolai groans, both of his hands sliding into my hair as his tongue slips into my mouth, and I’m jolted back to myself. I push against his chest, trying to squirm out of his hands. “Nikolai—”

“Please don’t,krolik,” he murmurs against my mouth, and I’m startled into absolute stillness for a moment. He’s never asked me for anything before. Never saidpleaseto me. He’s always wanted me to beghim. “I need—”

He groans, spilling me onto my back against the pillows, leaning over me as he reaches for a blanket to tug around us and block out the cold. “I need you,” he murmurs against my mouth. “I want you so fucking badly, Lilliana—”

I can feel just how badly he wants me. He’s rock hard against my thigh, his cock straining against the denim of his jeans, pressing against my bare thigh where my robe has been nudged aside. He’s already fumbling with his clothes, shucking off the layers as he kisses me hungrily, and I can feel the tide of his desire threatening to overwhelm me.

It feelsgoodto be so wanted. To feel how hungry he is for me, unable to get his clothes off fast enough, the hand not cupping my face fumbling between his clothes and my robe in a hurried urgency to feel skin against skin.

I should tell him no, even if it wouldn’t make a difference. I should protest, tell him that I don’t want this. But Ido. I feel the same ache sweeping through me, the desire to feel his warm flesh against mine, the sweet, pleasurable stretch of his cock filling me, to be reminded that I’malive. I’m still weak, feeling as if I can barely move, but Nikolai slides a hand down my side as he pushes my robe away, groaning as he kisses me again.

“I’ll be careful,” he whispers against my mouth. “I won’t hurt you. Please, Lilliana. I want—”

He sucks in a shuddering breath, kicking away his jeans as he strips his sweater off, the blankets tucked around us both as I feel his broad, muscled chest brush against mine, all of that hard, bare flesh sliding against me as his cock nestles between my thighs.

“God, Lilliana—” he groans my name again, his mouth slanting over mine as he reaches between us, his cockhead nudging against my entrance. “I’ll go slow, I—”

I can feel the restraint it takes for him to do exactly that. He’s so fucking hard, his cock thick and rigid as he starts to push inside of me, and I can’t stop myself from moaning into the kiss as I feel him starting to fill me.

“Tell me that feels good,” he breathes against my mouth. “Devochka—”

I shouldn’t. I should fight him like I always do. But I can’t find the energy to fight against what I’m feeling too, not right now. Itdoesfeel good, so fucking good, and I moan again as he thrusts, another inch of his cock sinking into me as his hand clutches the pillow next to my head, the other buried in my hair.

“It feels good,” I breathe, my hips arching up into his, my body wanting more. Another inch and I hear the whimper that slips from my mouth, my pussy clenching around him, pulling him deeper. “Oh—”

“That’s right.” He groans, another inch sliding into me. “It feels so fucking good. Oh god, Lilliana—”

He’s never been like this before.It’snever been like this before, slow and romantic and sweet, Nikolai taking me in slow inches until I’m gasping with pleasure, my back arched, fingers curled into the sheets. I’m going to come, just from the slow, rocking friction of him against me, and I can’t fight it. I don’t want to fight it.

“Oh god, I’m—” I gasp against his ear, arching again, and Nikolai groans, thrusting himself into me as deeply as he can.

“That’s right,krolik. Come for me. Oh god, come for me,malysh—”

I come unraveled underneath him, the pleasure crashing over me in waves as I cry out, clutching at his shoulders as my hips buck against his. The orgasm keeps going as Nikolai thrusts, rolling over me and making me feel as if every nerve in my body is on fire as I moan, writhing beneath him as I clench and flutter along the length of his cock.

“Fuck—” he groans, thrusting again, and I can feel his entire body go rigid. “I’m going to—ohgod—”

I feel the hot rush of his cum as he fills me, his hips shuddering against mine, his mouth against my shoulder as he comes hard. It sends another rippling jolt of pleasure through me, the feeling of him hot and hard inside of me, nearly sending me over the edge into another climax.

Nikolai doesn’t move for a long moment, breathing hard as he braces himself above me. “Lilliana—” he breathes my name, reaching over to run his fingers over my cheek, and I feel my heart skip in my chest as I turn my face away.

In the aftermath, it all comes rushing back. I remember why I’m supposed to hate him, why I’ve fought him for so long, why I’m supposed to try not to enjoy what he does to me. He forced me to marry him, made me say my vows, and dragged me into bed with him. He punished me, hurt me, and now I’m here, recovering from exposure because he frightened me so much that I ran away into a blizzard.

I’m not supposed to like him, or want him, or see him as anything but a devil, a brutal man who I should do anything to get away from.

I think Nikolai can feel me shutting down, because he pulls away from me, his cock slipping free as he rolls to one side, careful to keep the blankets tucked around him.

“Lilliana—” he starts to speak again, but I shake my head, swallowing hard as I refuse to look at him. I can feel his cum on my thighs, and I don’t want to think about how good it felt, how much I enjoyed him touching me like that. How the sweet, slow sex threatened to undo all the barriers I’ve woven to keep between us, so he doesn’t make me feel things I shouldn’t for him.

“Clearly, I can’t get away from you,” I tell him tightly, still looking away as I tuck the blanket in tightly around my breasts. “But I don’t have to love you. I never will. I don’t want you, Nikolai, and that’s not going to change.”

He’s quiet for a long moment, and then I feel him shift, pushing himself up a little as he looks over at me. “You’re wrong, Lilliana,” he says quietly. “I know you want me. I can feel it every time we’re together. I can see it in the way you look at me sometimes, when you think I don’t see. You can pretend all you like, fight yourself all you want, but I know the truth. And there’s nothing wrong with it.”

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