Page 21 of Until Beckett

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The momentwe’d cleaned ourselves up to eat, we made our way into the dining room and took our seats next to one another at the table after placing Mila down in her stroller for a nap. Hopefully, she’d settle for at least enough time for one of us to devour our lunch before wanting our attention, but you never could tell with little ones.

“I was right,” Nico called as James brought the tray of roast beef into the room and laid it at the head of the table, surrounded by the array of other steaming accompaniments. “Maybe next time, Trevor.” He smirked as he goaded him, and James cleared his throat before shushing the room for us to say grace. We all dipped our heads and held our hands in prayer.

I took a moment to be thankful for Corey—the fact he’d given me a chance at being his— and Mila and all the wonderful people who surrounded us today, and of course our health, before the clattering of forks and knifes began and people started helping themselves to the food in front of them.

I glanced to my left and smiled at Corey, who was grinning while waiting for his turn to fill his plate. Then he cleared his throat to grab the attention of the table. I was amazed by him as he reached over and grabbed my hand in his and started running his fingers across my knuckles.

“I just wanted to say thanks for letting us come today,” he began as he addressed the table. “I know I haven’t been myself since Isabella, then something scared me—”

“You’re always welcome here,” Susan cut in as heads around the table began to nod in agreement.

“I’ve always felt I belonged here and that you all were more family than just friends to me,” he stated as he glanced at Asher and November. “It’s how I knew you wouldn’t judge me when I finally figured out what was going on inside my heart.”

“We’ll always support you,” November said, squeezing my arm in support, her eyes glassed over. “Always, Corey.”

Asher wrapped his arm around her shoulders in support as I stared mesmerized at the man holding my hand. I never once imagined that he’d be doing this—especially today of all days. I mean, maybe in months down the line or something… It was as if an inner strength had taken hold of him.

“Beckett and I are a couple,” he announced just before he turned and kissed me gently, to which everyone at the table began to congratulate us. “Now… Nico, pass down the beef, will you?”

TWELVE

COREY

Beckett and I ended up spending a week or so in Tennessee before realizing that we had to return to our lives back in Wisconsin. We didn’t know what the future held now, especially with Beckett without a job and two houses between us, not to mention my long-term leave from the business. It meant we had some huge decisions to make for our future together, knowing that savings only lasted so long.

Though I’d have loved to have moved to Tennessee and been with the people who understood me better than most did, I just couldn’t. Asher, November, and The Mayson’s were the people who carried my heart and soul and understood me completely. They never judged me and only ever wanted the best in life for me. I couldn’t imagine having better people supporting me since I lost Isabella, became a single dad, and now with the change in my family dynamic of becoming bisexual and adding Beckett into it. My life had changed so much, but I was still me.

My routines and thoughts around Isabella still existed, and Beckett understood that. He knew that even though I’d revealed about the two of us to everyone in Tennessee, it wasn’t as easy to be as proud back here, even though I cared so much for him. My heart kept fighting with the fear of Isabella’s opinions on the situation. I knew it might sound silly to some—even though Beckett completely disagreed—I didn’t want to disrespect her.

“Are you going to visit her soon?” Beckett asked me as he worked away in the kitchen, cleaning the pots and pans after doing some batch cooking. Sometimes we both just needed something to grab and go. “Need a lift or—”

“I may just have a long walk today with Mila in her stroller, if that’s okay?” I replied, glancing up at his naked chest and fighting back the desire to lick his hard muscles that were teasing me as he worked at making the area spotless. “I thought the fresh air would be good,” I mumbled as I stared at his flexing back.

I don’t know what it was, but a man cleaning just made me drool. In the last few weeks, we’d started discussing a few things regarding what to do now that we were home, and the first was that running two homes was too much. It made sense for the two of us to live together, supporting each other. I hadn’t thought much about the gossip that people would be saying about in the area, as they knew Beckett had spent a lot of time here with me. It just became the normal in our lives, apart from what was happening behind closed doors, of course.

“Well, if you need me for anything, let me know.” Beckett smiled widely back at me before I leaned forward and kissed him gently. “I’ll see you both later.”

I got Mila ready for our weekly excursion to visit Isabella’s grave and strapped her into the stroller. She was growing so quickly that soon she’d be ready to change her positions, and instead of gazing at me all the time we could see how she coped with staring at the wider world. I couldn’t help but admit that I was going to miss that beaming smile radiating back at me and making me all warm and fuzzy inside.

“You ready to go and talk to Mommy again, princess?” I asked Mila as we took another turn in the path toward where Isabella was laid to rest. “I’m sure she’s missed you lots,” I whispered as we pulled up in front of the grave.

I reached for the old flowers I’d laid last week and placed them in a bag to dispose of them. I unstrapped Mila out of her stroller and held her in my arm as I took out the fresh flowers from underneath that we’d just bought to replace the old ones.

“I think Mommy will like these pink ones, don’t you?” I asked her as she cooed at me, making me chuckle. “You’re right, princess. She’s warning us that it’s gotten chilly and I should be taking you back home,” I whispered. “Your mommy is really clever, you know?”

I strapped Mila back in, knowing that this time next week would be the hardest visit to date—Mother’s Day. I just hoped that one of these visits I finally had the nerve to try and speak to her about my life now and not just her daughter’s.

That I had her forgiveness for moving on so quickly.

* * *

The following week,Beckett and I had gone about ticking items off our list and making decisions about our future, but he knew this Sunday would be emotional for me, being the first Mother’s Day for Mila.

He was my rock. My everything. My lover.

That was the part I needed to let off my chest. I just wish I could’ve known how Isabella would feel seeing me now.

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