Page 12 of Until Beckett

“You were preoccupied, man. We all understood that,” Asher replied as we made our way inside and to the living room while November showed the girls a pile of toys on the floor. I took a seat on the chair, neatly decorated with cushions. “No one holds that against you, man. I honestly think with everything you’ve been through… you’re so strong.”

If only he knew how strong I really was. I was a failure in reality.

“Are the others coming tonight or—” I started as Asher shook his head while November played away with the girls.

“Not tonight. But you’ll see them on Sunday at lunch at the farmhouse,” he said before turning to November and smiling at the sight in front of him—June and July pulling faces at one another and giggling as April stared on wide eyed. “That’s if you’re planning to stay until then.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I looked down sheepishly at the stirring princess in my arms and knew any moment she’d be squawking for a bottle and diaper change. “That’s if Susan and James wouldn’t mind a couple of extra people attending.”

“I know they wouldn’t.” November glanced at Asher and smiled. “But we’ll let them know you’re in town.”

“Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you both,” I admitted as I attempted to open Mila’s bag and get the items I needed together. “I just—” I fought back the tears gathering in my eyes, batting them away as I tried to focus on the task at hand.

I watched November and Asher silently communicate with one another before noticing them swapping positions. November came toward me and crouched before me, opening her arms up before staring into my eyes, as if she could read every worry and negative thought that was passing through my head.

“You’re with friends and family here.” She held out her hands, offering to take Mila from me. “Let us help you, Corey. You don’t need to struggle or fight this alone anymore. Let us in to carry some of that weight.”

I couldn’t hold it in any longer, a single tear fell down my cheek, as I handed my daughter to her.

“Thank you,” I whispered to her before looking at Asher. “Thank you both.”

“You never need to thank us, Corey,” November replied, touching my forearm. “Just take a deep breath and know everything will be okay now.”

SEVEN

BECKETT

I’d never been so frustrated and agitated before as I was waiting for the clock to tick to a more suitable hour so I could start my quest in reaching out to the list of people I needed to talk to before I began the chase at hand.

I just couldn’t believe Corey had gone and packed up his belongings and ran away from me, instead of sitting down and having a conversation. He’d ripped a hole in my chest by doing that, throwing salt in the wound at the tight relationship I thought we shared and dismissing everything we had without a care. He was the one who instigated what happened. I tried to suggest it would be better if we waited; if that was what he truly wanted.

I should have been firmer with him, but my body and will crumbled when he admitted that he wanted me the way I wanted him too. My heart shattered knowing I should have been the stronger person, especially when deep inside he has no idea of my hidden feelings. I’d given in to him and now had to deal with the aftermath.

I knew I had to tie up everything in my life here in Wisconsin before setting off on the chase—not just for me but also for Corey. I could bet my life he hadn’t informed anyone of his quick departure. I know his boss would have questions, as he was supposed to be meeting with him next week. It didn’t matter that he was going to hand in his notice and look for somewhere more flexible so he could spend more time with Mila; Maddox Wescott would have been concerned and called the authorities in panic. If the tables had been turned, I know Corey would have done the same. It’s just his mind was fucked-up and he wasn’t thinking clearly in the slightest.

It was the small things, though, that made all the difference.

A few hours longer not knowing if Corey was where I thought he was would aggravate me, but I had to protect him. I had to do everything in my power, so nothing came back on him when I brought him home. If I was wrong about where he was and who he was with, then—and only then—would I panic. But in my heart, I knew where he was. Corey would head to Tennessee; he’d go to our nearest friends, where we felt settled when not at home. The only thing was, would he tell them his reason for his trip or make up an excuse to be there?

I could see now it wasn’t going to be an easy journey ahead because our friends were protective assholes when they wanted to be, and Corey—even if he hadn’t told whoever he was with what had happened between us—was as fragile as they came at the moment. I knew they would instantly swarm around him and protect him, ensuring he didn’t crash for anyone—even if that meant keeping him away from me.

I knew I could easily ensure everything for Corey was sorted, even if I had to push the reminder on everyone of the tragedy he’d gone through and the fact he needed more time to come to terms with his new life. It would be the easy side in comparison to what I needed to do next. I couldn’t see Hadley Jolson being as considerate to my feelings, especially when she had the whole of the school and community to consider.

The moment I got to Little Whittle Primary School, I took a deep breath in and walked straight toward Bella at the reception desk with determination in my step while holding myself like the strong, powerful person I wanted to be seen as—even if inside I felt like a crumbling wreck.

“Is Miss Jolson around?” I smiled sweetly at her when she glanced up at me from the pile of paperwork she was hiding behind. “I know she’ll probably be busy, but I’ve had an emergency happen and—”

“I’ll just let Miss Jolson know that you’re here, Beckett.” Bella pointed to the chairs across from where the reception desk was as if I had never visited the place. It wasn’t like I actually worked here and many a time collected a parent from the very spot to have a meeting with them myself. “Do you just want to take a seat for a moment?” she asked me, smiling widely as she quickly picked up the phone and dialed my boss’s number. “I’m sure she’ll be fine to see you, especially with you saying it’s important.”

“It is. I wouldn’t have come in unannounced otherwise,” I began as Bella continued to smile widely. “I mean it, Bella.” I tried to break through her icy exterior, knowing how important and precious my boss’ time is. I just couldn’t see an alternative option.

The woman was an enigma of her own—beautiful, powerful, and a favorite of all the other teachers and assistants, even the parents loved her—but she had a sharp bite when she wanted to. I guess having to balance the constant answering of people when they called the school line and delegating what was important and essential to be dealt with now alongside her filing and own job requirements meant for having a tough exterior at all costs.

“Miss Jolson says that she can spare five minutes for you, Beckett, but that’s it,” Bella replied when she came over to me once she’d finished on the telephone. “She asked me to remind you of conduct, though,” she began as a few of the younger boys whose class I assisted in walked past me in the corridor and nodded at me with a small wave. “We take pride in our rules here.”

“I understand completely and will keep that in mind,” I confirmed as Bella knocked on Miss Jolson’s office door and waited for her commanding tone to state we could enter. “I know that I need to refresh my mindset.” Bella nodded at my words just as a voice disturbed the moment.

“Enter,” Miss Jolson bellowed through the door. I smiled gently at Bella and pushed down on the handle, making my way into what always surprised me in being such a huge room. “I’m surprised to see you here today, Mr. Kingston. I believe you’re not meant to be back in until Wednesday for the catch-up training that you missed, as we discussed,” Miss Jolson stated as she turned her chair to face me. “A whole two days early… to what do I owe the pleasure?”

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