Page 10 of Until Beckett

I took it to the dining table and placed it on the coaster, chuckling to myself, knowing Corey would hate if I left a stain on his table. I pulled out a chair and took a seat slumping down low against the backrest until my gaze caught sight of the notice board and folded piece of paper alongside the magnet that was holding the photographs, we picked out the other day to put in a memory box for Mila. I was certain that was new. I didn’t see it there when I added the additional photograph I found yesterday.

It was probably just a shopping list—a few items that maybe he thought that he was sure to forget when he planned to go later on today?

Surely that was it, wasn’t it?

So, why was my heart in the pit of my stomach as I pushed myself away from the table, my chair making that horrible screeching sound against the tiles that normally made you want to cover your ears and grit your teeth. I hated it normally with a passion but I couldn’t even bear to think about it at this moment. The shudder that would normally go through me was compressed inside my soul instead as I walked over and saw my name scrawled across the front of the piece of paper as if it had been done in a rush.

I knew that writing as well as I knew my own… it was his.

It was Corey’s.

“Please,” I whispered into the air. “I hope this isn’t what my heart is telling me it is.”

I opened the folded note, and the words on it made my fingers numb where they held the paper too tightly.

I’m sorry. I need some space to think and I can’t do that here with you. I’m a fool and I should never have made a move on you. Stay or go. It’s your choice… I’d understand either way. Corey x

“No, he wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t just leave me, would he?” I gasped as I scrunched the piece of paper up within my fist and marched straight out of the kitchen and back into his bedroom. My eyes flitted around the room, taking in everything more clearly now that I’d seen the note from him. It was as if I had twenty-twenty vision suddenly and the whole room had become a beacon revealing things, I’d missed the first time around.

Gone was Mila’s portable crib, baby carrier, and even the script for the special cream she needed for her butt when it broke out in sores. But then I spotted her butterfly blanket dropped on the floor at the side of the crib.

I took in a deep breath, feeling my knees wobble as I picked it up in one hand, sniffing it gently and capturing her perfect smell to my memory all over again. Corey wouldn’t on purpose leave without her special blanket; he must be coming back. Or could he have just dropped it by accident? Mila would be distraught without it.

I remember when Corey first told me the reasoning behind buying items with butterflies on and how Isabella used to say they were her favorite animal; never a cat or a dog or something exotic, just a butterfly. A simple creature of beauty that broke free from her cocoon and spread her wings, soaring the skies around her and having the best of all worlds; she was often a forgotten creature in this world until she flew by, then she was the center of attention.

I knew I had to know for certain that he’d gone as I walked toward Corey’s wardrobe with my hands shaking and opened them up.

It was bare.

His suitcase was gone.

He’d taken his daughter—the princess I loved with all my heart—and left me all alone.

Instead of talking to me and letting me know what was happening within his scared head, he took the easy option out.

My knees wobbled with the strain and pressure as it hit me, but I didn’t care in the slightest about the hard floor beneath me breaking my fall as I brought the blanket to my face and held the paper note balled up within my fingers. All I cared about was the pieces of a broken person he’d left behind.

He’d ripped my heart out of my chest the moment he made the decision to take Mila and run away. I didn’t even know if they were safe.

It had caused my heart to shatter into a million pieces in the process.

I had two choices, though: stay and wait or go, like he said.

The thing was, I wasn’t going to leave because I wanted to escape and run—the complete opposite, actually. I was going home to pack my own items up, because if Corey had packed enough items to need his suitcase, he wasn’t going to be waiting around here knowing I could see him at any point.

He’d be going somewhere where he had connections, friendships, people he trusted.

Fuck, I think I know where he may be heading. I just needed to make sure that I was right first and get everything organized here. If he was with them, then at least I knew he was safe. It was just getting someone he was with to admit to me he was with them. If Corey had asked them to not tell me he was there, though, that was a whole other issue indeed. I blew out a breath and shook my head at the thought. I’d figure it out one way or another.

“Corey, I’m coming for you both, baby,” I whispered into the air, holding the paper and blanket close to my heart. “I need you to know that… whatever is going on, I’ll always be by your side. Friend or more… I’m here.”

SIX

COREY

The moment I held my princess in my arms and drank in her scent as she rested against my naked chest while her tears dripped onto my skin, my guilt overwhelmed me and I allowed my own tears to flow in tracks down my cheeks.

I walked towards my bedroom door and flipped the lock, enclosing the two of us inside, then rocked her gently in my arms, hoping I didn’t need to make her a bottle and risk seeing Beckett potentially being out in the living room waiting for me. I told him I wanted space and I knew under normal circumstances he’d respect that. But at this moment, my gut screamed I was on a countdown and I had to think quickly on my feet.

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