Page 51 of Awakening the Sheriff

Marnin held up a hand. “No apologies needed, and you’re right. It was thoughtless of me, and you deserved better. All I can say is that I had no nefarious intentions. Their guest room is much bigger, more luxurious, plus I have my own bathroom. That’s all it is. I’m a man of comfort, and that was behind my decision. But in hindsight, I can see it hurt you, and for that, I’m sorry.”

“Thank you.” I took a deep breath. “Back to my previous question and the cause of this whole emotional upheaval inside me. I did feel a little betrayed by you, Marnin, and like I’d lost my friend. It makes me question if what I’m feeling for Keaton is attraction or if I’m caught up in a new friendship that makes me feel seen.”

“Have you wanted to kiss him?” Marnin raised an eyebrow.

I’d been so, so close on that overlook. “Yeah, I have.”

Marnin chuckled. “Well, there’s your answer. That’s the difference between friendship and attraction.”

My heart raced as the realization settled in. “How could I have been bisexual all this time and not known it?”

“Was there ever anyone before Keaton? Another man you felt that way about?” Tiago asked.

“Never. It’s always been women until now.”

“See, if you’d been bisexual before, you would’ve definitely hit on me!” Marnin winked at me.

That, too, was classic Marnin, trying to defuse the heavy emotions with a joke. Despite the gravity of the situation, I chuckled along with them. For a moment, the tension in my chest eased. But then the questions started spinning again. “How can I be attracted to Keaton when he’s so different from Tricia or any other woman I’ve dated?”

“Attraction is what it is.” Tiago shrugged. “You can’t always explain it.”

Marnin nodded in agreement. “Sometimes it hits you like a ton of bricks. You can’t control who you’re attracted to.”

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “To add to the confusion, I also realized how much of a workaholic I’ve become. God, you should’ve seen the looks on my deputies’ faces when I told them I was taking the rest of the afternoon off. They were in shock. And so were you guys.”

“I thought you had something terrible to tell us,” Tiago said. “Like you’d been diagnosed with cancer or something.”

“See? That’s what I mean. I hadn’t realized I’d become so absorbed in my work. I need a different life. I deserve more than being a sheriff and a dad, and I need more than friendship and contentment. I want to be a man too, a partner.”

“Leave it to Auden to go from realizing he’s bi to wanting to settle down again,” Marnin quipped, but there was no malice in his voice this time, only affection. “At least you’re still you.”

I couldn’t help but smile. He was right. I wasn’t interested in casual flings or hookups, nor did I want to explore my newfound sexuality with anyone other than Keaton. My heart yearned for something deeper, something real—a connection that went beyond physical attraction.

“But does Keaton want that too?”

Marnin and Tiago exchanged glances, then turned back to me. “There’s only one way to find out,” Tiago said gently.

“But for what it’s worth, I think he’s into you,” Marnin said.

I sat up straighter. “You think so?”

“Dude, I saw how he looked at you over dinner. The man has a crush on you.”

So Ihadinterpreted the signs correctly. Keaton did like me. That meant he was probably waiting for me to take the initiative, since he thought I was straight.

“Okay,” I said slowly. “I’ll talk to him.”

I stood, a renewed sense of purpose coursing through me. It was time to face my fears and confront my feelings head-on. No more hiding behind my job or my doubts. I needed to find out if Keaton felt the same way I did, and the only way to do that was to be honest with him.

“Good luck.” Marnin’s eyes twinkled with mischief. “And if for some reason things don’t work out with Keaton, you know where to find me.”

“Ha!” I rolled my eyes. But underneath the laughter, a sense of relief washed over me. No matter what happened, I had friends who cared about me, who had my back.

“I’ll let you know how it goes.” I walked toward the door.

With a deep breath, I stepped outside into the bright afternoon sunshine, prepared to have the most important conversation of my life.

18

---