Page 48 of Awakening the Sheriff

“Do you think we can choose who we’re attracted to?” he asked when we’d reached stable ground again.

I shook my head. “Attraction isn’t something we can control. It happens, sometimes in the most unexpected or even unwelcome ways.”

Didn’t I know it, pining after this man.

“Unexpected, how?”

“Oh, like being attracted to someone who isn’t the type you usually go for. You may think you like a certain type of person and then experience chemistry with someone who isn’t anything like your preferred type.”

“Hmm.”

What had brought this on? I wanted to ask Auden that more than anything, but should I? If he wanted me to know, he would’ve come right out and said so. No, I’d have to be patient until he divulged the reason for his musings on attraction.

“Do you think someone’s sexuality can change later in life?” Auden asked.

His eyes were intense as they met mine, and I almost tripped over my own feet, too drawn into his gaze to pay attention. What? Why was he asking that? Was he questioning his own sexuality? My heart raced at the thought of him being attracted to me. But how could I ask? I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. It had come to mean too much to me.

“Yes, I do,” I replied, keeping my tone neutral and steady. “Sexuality isn’t set in stone. People evolve and grow throughout their lives, and as they change, it’s natural for their understanding of themselves to change as well.”

Auden nodded, seemingly lost in thought. We continued in silence, the crunch of snow under our boots punctuating the quiet calm of the forest. Was he processing the same thoughts I was? The possibility of attraction between us lingered like unspoken poetry, waiting for someone to find the right words to bring it to life.

“We’re almost there,” Auden said a few minutes later, pointing at the trail, which ended a couple of hundred feet ahead of us.

As we emerged from the trees and found ourselves on the rocky outcrop, I gasped. The landscape was bathed in a warm, golden glow, the snow-covered peaks and valleys reflecting the low winter sun. Snowy hills dotted with dark-green firs and skeletal deciduous trees rolled in the distance. The Skykomish River wound its way through the land, its surface catching the light and shimmering like a ribbon of glass. The moon had already peaked above the horizon, eager to take over. The world seemed to hold its breath, suspended between day and night as if waiting for something magical to happen.

“Gosh, this is breathtaking…”

“It is.”

When I looked sideways, Auden was staring at me, and a million butterflies took wing inside me. Despite the cold, every cell in my body heated as if they all fired up in recognition of the powerful magnetism this man exuded. And when his eyes were trained on me with so much intensity, it was hard not to feel and hope and dream all the things.

“Auden…” My mouth was dry, my brain empty of words. I didn’t know what to say, if I should even speak.

“Keaton, I…”

He leaned into me, and I held my breath. Was he going to…?

Our eyes held, and my whole body felt as if I was about to jump off a high cliff, right there teetering on the edge. But did I have a harness on? Would I be safe if I jumped now? I didn’t know for sure. He hadn’t said anything, and for all I knew, I was misinterpreting his signals.

I couldn’t lose him.

I couldn’t lose his friendship.

I couldn’t kiss him or say what I wanted to say and run the risk of losing him forever.

“We need to head back if we want to make it before sunset,” I said, my voice hoarse, and I forced myself to break eye contact.

“Yeah.” Auden inhaled sharply as if shaking himself out of a stupor. “You’re right. Let’s go.”

As we hiked down the trail in silence, my head spun round and round and round, going in endless circles as I tried to answer one question. Had I done the right thing?

17

AUDEN

The walls of my office were closing in on me. It was a rare quiet Friday, and I had too much time on my hands. We’d only had a few calls today, which my deputies had handled, and I’d tried to keep myself busy. I’d caught up on paperwork, helped Jack Sobiesky install new security cams around the Double F, and tidied and cleaned my cruiser. Hell, I’d even sorted the files on my computer, and that was as close to desperation as I got.

I liked to stay busy, and today was a perfect example of why. Without work to distract me, my thoughts were consumed by Keaton, and the more I tried to focus on anything else, the more my mind wandered back to our hike.

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