Page 32 of Awakening the Sheriff

“Is it? Sex is normal, Byron. For adults, at least. Your dad is single, so why should he not have sex, regardless of the gender of his partner? At the end of the day, people’s sex lives should be private. It’s none of your business what your dad does when he’s not with you, and it’s nobody else’s business either.”

“But what if someone found out?”

“Would you feel the same if he had sex with women?”

“No.” The answer came out in a whisper.

“Then I have news for you, kid. It’s you who’s homophobic. Not your classmates, but you.”

Tears dripped down his cheeks, and my heart clenched at his obvious pain. God, I hoped I was saying the right things here. What a minefield this whole conversation was. I’d never expected to have to talk to him about sex, let alone Keaton’s sex life, but now that it had become clear this was where the problem was, I had to see it through.

“I love my dad,” he said, his voice breaking.

“I don’t doubt that, and you must know your dad loves you too. Like all parents, he wants you to be happy. But he also has to be who he is, same as you. The only way to be truly happy is to accept yourself and the people you care about for who they are. Anything else is just pretending. Your dad, he’s not defined by his sexuality. He’s a good man, a great father, and an amazing teacher. If people can’t accept him for who he is, that’s on them, not him. And it’s not your job to change him to fit some mold that others expect.”

Without saying anything, he wiped his cheeks with his sleeve, picked the roller back up, and returned to painting. His strokes were quick and angry, betraying the turmoil bubbling beneath the surface, and I allowed him to process it all.

My chest tightened with worry and frustration. Had it been too much? Had I been too sharp? I wasn’t sure if he fully understood, but hopefully, I’d at least planted a seed of thought in his mind.

I leaned back in my chair. No matter how badly I wanted to push, I needed to let go now. Him opening up to me was a big step, even if he’d revealed some things that broke my heart, both for Byron and Keaton. I couldn’t expect more than that.

“Hey, uh, Sheriff?” Byron broke the silence. “If you end up talking to my dad or hanging out or whatever, can you not mention I…you know…”

“Of course,” I assured him. “This stays between us unless you decide otherwise.”

“Thanks.”

He finished the room without engaging in more conversation, and I didn’t make an effort either. I’d said enough. Now the ball was in his court.

“Good job,” I told him when he was done. “I’ll see you next Saturday for round two.”

He nodded, then slipped out of the room. The door clicked shut behind him, leaving me in the freshly painted room, the scent of wet paint clinging to my clothes. I stared at the now-pristine walls, the weight of our conversation bearing down on me. How could I help Byron find his way?

And just as importantly, how did I support Keaton in this? If he found out how his son felt about him, he’d be heartbroken, and that thought stabbed me like a knife. I wanted to protect him from that pain, but how? There had to be a way, but as I drove home, I was no closer to a solution.

12

KEATON

The setting sun cast a golden glow over the streets of Seattle as I drove to Mandy’s house to pick up my boys. It had been a highly unsatisfactory weekend. I’d arrived Friday evening with the same goal as always: finding someone to release some sexual tension with, some big, bulky guy who’d be all too happy to go to town on my ass. But instead, I was going home as frustrated as I’d arrived.

The cause? Auden. Oh, blaming him wasn’t fair. This was all me. But I was so freaking angry with myself. Every time I had opened Grindr and tried to find a hookup, I’d been bored with the options. Whereas before, I’d never had an issue finding someone—my standards weren’t that high, to be honest, and neither was my list of requirements—I had now rejected each and every man who had offered himself.

Too young. Too skinny. Too fake. Whatever.

Every face that popped up on the screen couldn’t hold a candle to Auden’s. And when I’d tried to picture myself with another guy, Auden kept showing up in my mind. Kissing me. Forcefully holding me down as he fucked me. Pinning me against the wall as he railed me. So many detailed fantasies. What in the heck was wrong with me? Crushing on a straight man at my age—pathetic. Ridiculous. Embarrassing.

As a result, my frustration was simmering when I pulled up to Mandy’s house. Not the mood I should be in when I was about to tell my ex-wife our oldest son was turning into a juvenile delinquent. When I dropped the boys off, I hadn’t brought it up, not wanting her to have to deal with the possible fallout all weekend. Convincing Mandy of the seriousness of the situation would be an uphill battle, and my fuse being this short wouldn’t help matters.Lord, help me stay calm.

Before I rang the bell, she opened the door. Was she on time for once? “Hey, Keaton. The boys are still packing their things.”

Or not. “That’s okay. I wanted to talk to you for a moment.”

She frowned as she let me in. “Let’s sit in the kitchen. What’s on your mind?”

“Byron got arrested for shoplifting at a local store. They caught him stealing some candy and gum, of all things. The sheriff has agreed to handle it himself this time, and Byron has to do community service. But if this happens again, they’ll bring him before a judge.”

Mandy’s eyes widened, but she quickly composed herself. “All teenagers get into trouble at some point, and most of them turn out fine in the end. He’s not a bad kid. I think he’s bored in Forestville.”

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