Page 20 of Awakening the Sheriff

“Grief doesn’t have a time limit.” He squeezed my arm, then let go.

He understood, and that meant a lot to me. “But anyway, no, it doesn’t make any difference that you’re bi. You do you.”

“Thanks. And my kids know, by the way. How long have you been divorced, if I may ask?”

“Five years. We got lucky because we managed to end things as friends.” I hesitated. How much did I want to tell him? We’d already shared a lot during that dinner, so I might as well be honest with him. “Tricia and I just…drifted apart. We got so caught up in our jobs and raising the girls we lost sight of each other. And when my father retired and I became sheriff, the distance between us grew. I think a huge part of the blame lies with me, to be honest.”

“Did you try to fix things?” Keaton asked.

“We went to couple’s therapy, tried date nights, but it was like we were two different people by then. Eventually, we decided to part ways amicably for the sake of our daughters.”

I hadn’t told him what had driven us apart to begin with. Hell, I hadn’t even told Marnin how I felt, and he was my best friend. But how could I when he was a part of it? He’d done an amazing thing, and I never wanted him to feel guilty. Besides, it was too personal, too raw. Too painful, even so many years later. The one thing I’d failed at had cost me my marriage.

“You know, Tricia’s getting married again soon,” I admitted, my voice catching as I fiddled with a LEGO piece.

Keaton paused his sorting and looked at me. “How do you feel about that?”

I sighed, the weight of loneliness settling on my shoulders. “It’s…hard to see her so happy and moving on while I’m still alone. I’m glad she’s found someone she loves, and I like and respect her fiancé, but I can’t help feeling lonely and a bit left behind.”

Keaton’s eyes softened. “It’s okay to feel that way. Divorce is tough, and seeing your ex move on can be difficult. You’re not the only one experiencing that.”

“Thanks, Keaton,” I murmured. His understanding tone gave me some comfort. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had any real companionship. My daughters are great, but it’s not quite the same, you know?”

He nodded. “Trust me, I get it. You never tried dating?”

“I’m tied to Forestville, so the pickings are slim. Maybe I should spread my wings and look outside our immediate area, but whoever I date has got to want to move here ‘cause I’m not leaving. My roots are here.”

“That limits your options, yes, but I understand.”

“I’ve had a few dates and scored occasionally, but it’s been a while. And you? Do you date?”

Keaton shook his head. “It’s too complicated with only one weekend each month to myself. Plus, I don’t have the energy for it.”

“So your weekends in Seattle are just sex.”

Why had I brought that up again? Maybe to make sure he knew I was okay with it? Hell, if one-night stands were a more frequent option, I’d take advantage of them too. I missed sex. A lot. Me and my right hand had become close, and that was sad at my age.

He gave me a sharp look, then relaxed again. “Yeah. I drop the boys off and check into a hotel. Grindr does the job, but I do the occasional gay bar as well.”

“No women?”

“Men are easier.”

I snorted. “You can say that again. Girls are mysteries at any age.” I grew serious again. “How about you and Mandy? What happened?”

Keaton winced. “We grew apart. Or maybe we never wanted the same things to begin with. I don’t know. We met in Munich, Germany. She was backpacking through Europe with a friend, and I was teaching English as a foreign language. It was a fun time. We hit it off, and when I went back to the States, she came with me and found a job as a flight attendant. We moved in together, got married, had kids, the whole nine yards. But she always stayed restless, wanting to see more of the world. On the surface, we had everything, but it wasn’t enough for her. She focused more and more on her career, and I felt like I was shouldering all the responsibility of raising our kids.”

“Sounds tough.” I empathized, knowing the struggles of balancing work and family life all too well.

“It was. She also had…” He sighed. “She didn’t like me being bi. I was honest with her from the start, and it wasn’t an issue at first, but over time, she came to resent it. She became suspicious of every man I met. Not the women, always the men. As if deep down she believed I was gay, not bi.

I slowly shook my head. “It’s a well-known prejudice against bisexual people, just like the myth that they’re twice as likely to cheat. That whole idea is such BS, and it all comes from not being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes.”

“In the end, that’s what drove us apart. I couldn’t take it anymore, the constant checking on me, the suspicion and paranoia. I set an ultimatum. Either she trusted me, or she didn’t. Her answer was to file for divorce.”

Damn, that was brutal. “But you managed to stay friends?”

He hesitated. “I thought so, but lately, I’m not sure if she’s being fair to me. The boys are giving me some signals she’s been feeding them lies about me.”

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