Page 122 of That First Date

“No!” she exclaims. “I’m not the type of girl who will do it with just anyone.”

“So, there’s someone you’re crushing on?”

She gives me a side eye. “Crushes are for children, Ave. But if you must know, there’s someone I mostdefinitelyhave had my eyes on for a while now.”

Peyton, Kali and I all exchange looks before we look back at her and say in unison, “Logan.”

“GUYS!” she groans. “Don’t bring him up.”

“It’s him, isn't it?” I stand up from my chair in my rage of excitement. “I fuckingknewsomething was going on with you two.”

“No. Nothing is going on.” She stops me dead in my tracks. “Or at least I don’t know what the hell is going on. He flirts with me so hardcore while I’m at work. Because you know… working in the emergency department and everything, cops bring people in. It seems like he’s always the one bringing them in. And they always happen to bemypatients. But he’s a typical male, so he flirts with all the nurses. Plus, I don’t graduate until the end of June, so I’m not even an actual nurse for him to flirt with.”

“I just heard a lot of blah blah blah coming out of you.” Kali giggles. “But what I think you meant to say was that you two are flirting hardcore.”

“Wrong.”

I place a hand on her shoulder. “I’ve seen the way you two are around each other. Whenever I catch him staring at you, he’s looking at you like you hung the moon.”

“Oh yeah?” She throws her hands on her hips. “What about you? Miss Avoid-love-at-all-costs.”

“Pff. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Her voice softens. “I talked to my brother yesterday.”

“Fuck.” I turn on my heels and walk back to the barstool on the opposite side of the kitchen island. “What did he have to say?”

“He said he told you he loves you, Ave.”

The room falls silent. I look at Kali and her mouth is open in shock, then my gaze moves to Peyton whose eyes look like a deer in headlights that’s about to get hit by a fast moving car on the freeway.

“He did.” My head falls with a nod, and I wipe the sweat forming on my palms on my shorts.

“Avery.” Peyton’s voice is soft, like she’s afraid I’ll break if she says the wrong thing. “Talk to us.”

“I don’t know what to say,” I shout louder than I want to. “I fucking love him too. Okay?” Tears threaten to spill over. “And I don’t know how to deal with these feelings. It scares the shit out of me and I don’t want to be scared. I don’t want to worry about him leaving me the same way the last man I ever loved did.”

I lose it completely, I break down bringing my hands to my eyes and my shoulders shake with sobs. I can’t say the girls have ever seen me breakdown like this before about anything. Tears pour out of me, and I can’t wipe them fast enough.

“I’m fucking scared, you guys,” I admit.

“Dammit,” Peyton says before I feel her wrap her arms around me. “Shhh. We got you, Ave.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to cry like this.”

“You don’t ever have to be sorry with us,” Peyton says as she brushes the hair out of my face, tilting my head up to look at her. “It’s good that you’re scared.”

“Why?”

“Being scared means that you have something really great to lose, that you love him so much that you don’t everwantto lose him.”

“I don’t want to lose him, Pey. He told me he loved me, and I didn’t say it back. What if I already lost him because of it?”

“You didn’t,” Emiline cuts in. “I promise you that you didn’t.”

“What the hell is wrong with me?” I sob.

“Nothing is wrong with you,” Peyton says, encouraging me. “Your father fucked you up so much by walking out on you that when someone finally tries to give you what you deserve, you have no clue how to respond to that.”

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