Page 50 of The Fundamentals

But this conversation now was different. This was Ward’s mom. I wasn’t explaining what had happened because I blamed her for it or to shame her, I just needed to find out where he was.

“Valerie, I know that you love him and I know you want to protect him. I don’t want him to get into trouble,” I said, and now her eyes flashed up angrily.

“Is that why you’re trying to serve him papers?” she demanded.

“It’s for a personal protection order,” I explained. “He needs to understand that he has to stay away from me, for real. He can’t…he can’t do what he was doing anymore.” Not that a piece of paper, legal or not, would keep Ward back if he wanted to get to me, and the order didn’t mean much since no one could find him to give it to him. I shivered a little and gripped my mug of tea to warm my hands. It was mint, which was supposed to be good for my stomach. Martha had recommended it because I’d been feeling pretty sick lately and food had not been my friend.

“You really think you need a restraining order?” Valerie asked me disbelievingly. “I know that he has a temper and I know that you two don’t always get along—”

“You also know what happened last winter! I called you to help me!” I burst out, loud enough that other heads turned toward our little table. I lowered my voice. “You saw what he did to me.”

“He went to therapy. We made him go and you can’t deny that.”

“He did go and I hoped so much that it would make a difference. For a while, it did. He apologized to me and he stopped. But then things started again, very slowly. I was like a frog in a pot of water and it was getting hotter all the time. I’m afraid that if it started to boil—I’m afraid that he could kill me. I mean it,” I said, when she made a face. “I have nightmares that he’s in the cottage, that I can hear him and I can’t get away.”

“You’re making him out to be a monster, and he isn’t!” I saw tears fill her eyes.

“He’s not a monster but he gets out of control. He’s going to hurt someone worse than he hurt me.” She was already shaking her head and I tried to make her understand. “Valerie, you were the one who took me to get my prom dress. You helped me get financial aid for college, you and Kevin went with me when I bought my first car. Do you think I’m lying? Would I say this only to hurt you? I owe you for so much. I love you,” I told her. My voice cracked. “I’m sorry, but this is the truth. You witnessed the aftermath and you know.”

She looked at me and I swore that I could see indecision on her face. But then she shook her head. “Ward has a temper,” she said. “He also loves you, Sissy. You’re trying to destroy his reputation. Yes, you are,” she told me loudly when I started to object. “He’s young and he’s made some mistakes, but you’re out to ruin his life. Is it because he cheated on you? He was sorry for that and it didn’t mean anything. Don’t be vindictive.”

“No, it’s not just that,” I was saying, but Valerie was already on her way out the door, leaving me with the cooling cup of mint tea that hadn’t done anything to calm my stomach. After a moment, I also left but very carefully, looking up and down the street, trying to peer into neighboring buildings, studying everyone inside parked cars. Tourist season was over for the summer—it picked up on weekends still, as they came to see the fall colors—so the city was less crowded, giving me a chance to scrutinize all the people around me.

Ward wasn’t there, not as far as I could tell. But I still had a feeling that he was close. It wasn’t like he would cut and run, first, because I knew he didn’t believe he’d done anything wrong, and second, because everything was here for him. His parents and grandma, his friends, the job he sometimes went to, the home he owned because his family had given him the money to buy it, and the larger home and property that he expected to inherit—this was his world, his kingdom.

So I maintained my awareness as I drove toward the stadium for practice. My eyes darted around and I kept the music off to listen for cars approaching too fast. I checked the mirrors for someone dawdling behind, following. There was a car back there, actually, the service that Bowie had hired, but I looked for one that I didn’t recognize carrying a person who might be in disguise. I had even sniffed inside my back seat before I got in to check for any hints of Ward’s cologne. Since I’d sent that final text to him, my senses had been on constant alert.

And I yawned, because it was exhausting. It was wearing on me to be even more on guard than usual, to always try to stay safe. I waved to the Woodsmen security crew as I went into the stadium complex. But if Ward wanted to, he could find a way through or over the fences that surrounded the property. He could crawl underneath my car, for example, or break into it and hide in the back seat, not wearing his cologne so I couldn’t smell his presence. He might be waiting to pop up and put his hands around my neck…

I rubbed my throat and tried to forget that feeling as I parked and got out, locking the car door and then checking it three more times.

“Sissy, wait,” Danni called from a corner of the lot, and I jumped. I pointed toward the entrance and hurried toward it, because it was probably safer inside. Unless he had already gotten into the building somehow. I slowed, because if he was hiding in there, at least she could run and tell someone—but no, I had to stop thinking like this. I yawned again but felt my heart race at the same time.

“I wish you’d said something,” she announced as she got closer, and she sounded pretty upset.

How had she found out? I’d asked everyone who was now aware of my situation with Ward to keep it to themselves, and I’d made our coaches swear and shake on it, too. “Who told you?” I asked.

“Rylah texted me while I was on my way here, just to give me a ‘head’s up,’” she said, disgustedly finger-quoting. “They had scheduled this weeks before, obviously. I don’t understand why it was a secret.”

“Scheduled?” I asked. “What are you talking about?”

“About your sister and how she’s here today,” Danny told me, frowning. “Aubin is coming in to help out, that was the way Rylah put it. Apparently, they think that things aren’t going as well as they should be this season.” She yanked hard on the door and it crashed back into the stadium. “I think we’re doing fine! Maybe Sidney N. still has her memory lapses and I know that Chanel should work more on that one tumbling pass, and maybe…but it’s sooo much better now than when I started with the Wonderwomen!” she told me. She was walking quickly toward our studio and I moved my shorter legs faster to keep up. “Everyone was so nasty to each other when I got onto the team! They would backbite and gossip, not like we do now but really mean stuff. It was just a total attitude problem. I’ve worked hard to make us friends so that we all get along and have fun together, so we enjoy this experience.”

She really had, too. She’d organized nights out, lunches, karaoke parties at the studio in her mom’s basement. We’d gone to the beach together—or, at least, most of the girls had done those things. Ward hadn’t wanted me to participate very much.

“I must not have done as well as I thought. Is that why Aubin is coming?” Danni asked me. She slowed and put her palm on my arm. “Is she here because of me? I know she doesn’t like me and she thinks I’m a bad team captain.”

I grabbed her hand. “Danni, I swear that I didn’t hear anything about my sister showing up today. What’s going on?”

She filled me in on what she knew, which was only the information she’d gotten in a series of texts from Rylah. Our coach had written something about perspectives and something else about umami, which actually had to do with food taste and amino acids. “I don’t know exactly why Aubin’s showing up but it doesn’t relate to savory proteins,” Danni concluded, and checked the time her phone. “Come on, we better change.”

We were close enough to our locker room to see the lights flickering under the door. “Wait,” I told her. “Please don’t worry about my sister. I think you’re doing a great job and I know the other Wonderwomen feel the same way. I’m sure the coaches do, too. You’re an amazing leader for this team.”

“Thanks, Sissy.” I started to go inside, pushing hard on the door that seemed to be sticking now, but she kept talking. “Are you doing better than before?”

Well, I still felt like I was in danger, I still didn’t know what my dad was up to, and now I was worried about my sister interfering with our team. But in general?

“I am,” I told her. “I made a really big step in fixing things for my future and I have a good friend who’s helping me. The last few years have been difficult but now I have hope that things can improve, if I can just get through this part.”

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