Page 83 of State of Denial

“Since yesterday when I realized I needed a break.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Angela glance at Tracy, who shrugged.

“From what Trulo tells me, the death of your husband has affected me more than I initially thought.”

“When did you have time to even think about it when you were relentlessly chasing down the people who sold him poisoned pills?” Angela asked.

“Exactly. Call it a delayed reaction, not that I wasn’t devastated over it from the beginning.”

“I know what you mean,” Ang said. “You were so caught up inwhyit happened that you didn’t have time to fully feel it.”

“Yes, something like that. You know how much I love being shrinked, but I had to admit that the good doc was on to something when he pointed that out to me. So, I’m taking a break right as we caught a new case with six victims, including four kids.”

“I heard about that,” Tracy said. “Who could do that to their own kids?”

“We’re not convinced it was him. His mother insists he would never harm them, that he loved them more than life. Who knows what really happened? My team is on it, and they’ll figure it out. Freddie is leading the investigation.”

“How exciting for him,” Tracy said as she doled out salads and little rolls stuffed with chicken salad.

“He’s ready,” Sam said. “With me out of the way, he’ll have a chance to shine on his own.”

“I’m sure he’d rather shine with you than without you,” Angela said with a small smile.

“He’s nervous, but he’s got this. Anyway, enough about me. How are you and the kids doing?”

“We’re coping, figuring out a new routine and muddling through the days. We miss him, though. Poor Jack cries every night, but some nights it’s not as bad as others.”

Sam’s heart ached for her sweet nephew, who’d been so close to his dad. “I wish there was something we could do for him.”

“He’s starting with a counselor next week.”

“That’s good,” Tracy said. “That’ll help.”

“I really hope so,” Angela said. “I’m as sad for him as I am for myself. It’s just so hard to see him upset every day.”

“I could come over at bedtime and read to him and snuggle him until he goes to sleep, if that would help,” Sam said.

“You’ve got your own kids to snuggle,” Angela said.

“I’d do it for Jack in a second.”

“I know you would, but we have to find our own way through this one step at a time. From everything I’ve read, this acute stage won’t last forever.” She took a sip of her tea. “I’ve been thinking about calling Roni.”

“She’d love to hear from you,” Sam said. “And I was going to invite you to grief group at HQ tomorrow night.”

“I’ll go with you,” Tracy added. “Mike will babysit.”

“I’d like to go,” Angela said. “I need the support of other young widows and people who’ve been through similar tragedies to help me find my way forward.”

“I’ve met Roni’s Wild Widows group,” Sam said. “I think you’d love them. They’re so resilient and optimistic.”

“I could use a little optimism.”

“Roni would love for you to reach out to her,” Sam said. “She’s offered several times now.”

“I know, and I appreciate it. I just wasn’t ready. It’s starting to set in now… that I have to raise three kids on my own, and it’s just… It’s overwhelming.”

“Of course it is.” Tracy placed her hand over Angela’s. “But you’ll never be alone. I hope you know that.”

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