Page 1 of Love Blitz

ChapterOne

Gianna

If only the mattress would have opened wide and swallowed me whole. It would put me out of my misery. Pints of ice cream and bags of chili cheese Fritos didn’t deliver on their promise to make me feel better. And neither did the blankets I had pulled over my head.

The dark room was helpful, but even with the blinds shut tight, the ache in my chest was unbearable. Each day that I inched closer tothe dayfelt like another knife slicing my skin open. I should have been preparing for rehearsal dinner and a night out with my bridesmaids. Not recounting all the memories of the past three months that led tothe end.

How could I have missed it?Sure, I was busy ensuring the sustainable flowers would be flown in unscathed. Talking to caterers to make ensure a peanut-free night. Didn't want my cousin to suffer anaphylactic shock before the first dance. Hours spent at dress fittings. The intricate lace of my corset needed to fit snug against my back and dip low on my chest. Not too low though.

Okay, so I was a little busy. A little preoccupied with planning the wedding of my dreams. And the more I dwelled on it, he was staying at the office later and later every night. My phone calls were going unanswered more than in the past, and my text messages left on read for too long.

I should have known. I could have known. I didn’t want to believe it though. I trusted that everything would come together after we said, ‘I do.’ That every hard day, and aggravated night, would end with us in wedded bliss. Our honeymoon the reset we needed. Sipping daiquiris while floating in our flower-laced private pool.

I had all faith in us. In what we were building. In what he promised me.

Shawn and I had a troubled beginning, the three years it took to get us to where we ended up wasn’t easy. But whenever someone spoke against him, I’d swear, “But he’s a good man…”

Then this. I buried my head further into the pillow until it wasn’t far enough. The pillow had flattened from a week of me laying on it all day and night. Only moving from my bed to use the bathroom and grab another pint of ice cream. Swiping one more bag of chips. But two days away from thebig day, I hardly could bring myself to do even that. I didn’t want to move. I wanted to stay right where I was in my bed, in the darkened room, until the day passed.

Facing the world was an ‘absolute no.’ I flung my hand from under the covers and snatched the chips. Not caring that crumbs scattered across my duvet. Or that my fingers were stained in that dirty orange color. The chips and ice cream sustained me for that week.

If it were up to me, it’d become my new diet. It could replace the freshly squeezed juice. The raw vegetables I consumed for the two weeks prior. I huffed, “Fine for what?” as I stuffed my mouth full of chips. The chili cheese flavor better after not tasting anything remotely tasty for weeks. I licked my fingers and stuffed another pile into my mouth.

The ginger teriyaki salmon and pad Thai for the reception would have been better. “Not eating that shit ever again.” I rolled my eyes and let the breath ease from my lips. I finished chewing and grew content in the corner of my bed, warm from countless hours of non-movement.

“That’s enough.” Georgia’s loud voice startled me. “You are getting out of this bed.”

My eyes closed tighter as she pulled the blinds open. Then my body stiffened as she yanked the covers from my body.

“Gosh, in your bed, Gigi?” I could hear the disgust in her voice. Still, I didn’t open my eyes to look at my little sister. If I didn’t flinch, Georgia would leave me alone.

I heard the bag of chips crumble and felt a drop of water from the ice cream as that went over my head. “Oh no, heffa.” Tatiana was sucking her teeth. “Ain’t no man gonna have my girl down this damn bad.”

“He’s a good man…”was on the tip of my tongue, but I bit into it until I tasted the saltiness of blood seeping down my throat. The two of them were relentless. When I learned about Shawn’s philandering ways, they agreed I needed time. But insisted they’d be right in the house in case I needed them.

As far as I know, they hadn’t left. Except to attend to their jobs. I heard them in the morning when they left, and in the evening when they returned. Outside of that, I tuned them out. I wasn’t up for the cackling I heard in the kitchen, or the music pouring from the living room. I didn’t want to get back to life as usual with them. I wanted to be in the bottom of a dark hole. Because digging one in my backyard would have been a little off putting, I settled for my darkened bedroom.

“Gigi,” my sister’s voice squealed. Much like it did when we were little kids and she tried to convince me to play dolls with her. Or as we got a little older and she begged to tag along with me and my friends. “This isn’t healthy.” Her voice lowered, “I’ll need to call in reinforcements if you don’t get your ass in the shower soon.” I heard her sniff around my body before telling me, “Washing your ass is nonnegotiable.”

“And while you are at it, you need to go ahead and pull on an outfit.” Tatiana was hovering over me. I could feel her big eyes boring into me, but still, I was playing possum. “Let me find you something cute. It’s comeback season, bitch. We are getting you out this house, drunk, and potentially some dick.”

Georgia laughed and replied, “In that order.” Then she did the unthinkable. I felt her cold fingers on the bottom of my calf. Off went my socks. “If you don’t move, I’m going to…” Before she could finish the sentence, her little menacing fingers tickled my feet.

Bad idea. Terrible idea. “Wait,” I screamed. “I haven’t gotten up to pee in hours.” I jumped from the bed and ran past them straight to the bathroom.

Behind me, I heard hands clapping as Tatiana shouted, “Good job, Georgia, I knew you had that magic.”

After relieving myself of what felt like a forty-eight hours’ worth of piss, I stood in the mirror. I didn’t look like the poised woman who was ready to take that final walk of her single life. Down the aisle with a braided halo, deep-red lips, and extended lashes. I looked like a shell of a woman shattered into pieces. Beaten to the point of no return. “Dammit, Shawn,” I mumbled before splashing cold water on my face. “Why’d you do this to us? To me?”

I shook my head. Each thought of him led me to a thought of the mystery woman who remained nameless. The woman who casually took more than he had available to give. According to him, it was “just sex,” as if that made things any better. As if, I’d forgive the act and still want to walk into forever with him.

In a way, I wished he told me he was madly in love with the woman. That it was her he wanted sporting his last name, and the expensive rock that he spent a year saving for. At least all we built wouldn’t have come crumbling down for someone he was walking away from. The only thing he had to show from it all was a few extra nuts. My jaw tensed, and I grabbed my toothbrush from the drawer. In the week, the pearly whites were neglected too.

And before I could leave the bathroom, I climbed into the shower. Let water rinse over my hair, and lotioned my body up. I had to admit, “I feel a little better,” to Georgia and Tatiana as I walked into my bedroom.

“You certainly smell better.” Georgia’s nose tooted in the air. “Now,” she pointed to Tatiana who was holding a romper in the air, “slip into that.”

My head shook from side to side. Of all the things she could have grabbed from my closet, she didn’t have to pickthat.“No. I’m getting back in the bed.” Except the sheets were no longer there and my duvet laid crumbled on the floor. “What’d you do?”

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