Page 102 of Awaiting

“What is your obsession with this hat?” Bexley laughed, tucking her phone into her pocket.

“I got it the day I told you how I felt for the first time.”

Bexley didn’t say anything. She just smiled softly as Alex got back to work.

“I know it wasn’t, but that game sort of felt like a first date for us, and you said I was cute in it. It’s silly, but–”

“No, it’s not,” Bexley interjected. “It’s sweet.” She walked over to where Alex was cutting back an overgrown shrub and added, “How is it the world has no idea how sweet you are?”

“They only see what they want to see,” Alex replied.

“Well, is it wrong if I say that I like that I’m one of the few people who get to see you this way?”

Alex stopped and looked at her.

“I don’t think so. I thinkthat’ssweet,” she replied.

Bexley went inside to make them sandwiches for lunch, and while she was working, she went ahead and bought Alex that hat. She had it shipped to her own house and would ask Stan to pick it up for her. Alex could have more than one hat, after all, and Bexley had this vision of them going to a game together one day. She could wear her old, worn hat, and Alex could wear the new one she’d just bought her.

When Bexley finished with the sandwiches and had two cups of hot tea on the table, she sat down for a second. She could see Alex working through the small window above the kitchen sink. Muscles rippled in Alex’s arms as she lifted and tossed branches and dead plants into a pile in the postage-stamp backyard. Bexley swallowed because she knew it could be like this. It couldn’t always, obviously, but they could find time away from it all like this.

They could come here when they needed to put the world in their rearview mirror, and Bexley could watch Alex in the garden. They could build a fire together. They could buy a damn modem and router to get better Internet so Bexley could work and read articles while Alex had her feet in her lap, reading one of those books on the shelf. Bexley could buy her more books to read. They could add to that shelf together. She watched Alex, who was only wearing a T-shirt, despite the fact that it was still pretty chilly, lift that shirt and wipe the sweat off of her face. Bexley swallowed again. She’d touched Alex’s skin last night. She’d kissed her lips, her jaw, her collarbones, her neck, and just a little lower than that, but she hadn’t ventured anywhere else. Now, she was regretting that decision.

“Can I have a shower before we eat?” Alex asked when she walked inside a few minutes later.

“Your tea will get cold.”

“I’ll only be a minute,” Alex promised, leaning down and giving Bexley a quick kiss before she disappeared into the bathroom.

Yes, it could be just like this. They’d share meals and sweet kisses. They’d talk about tea getting cold and how to clean and fix the fountain in the back. Of course, Bexley also knew there was a lot more to it than this, and that was what scared her so much. Alex didn’t scare her. Bexley’s growing feelings for the woman didn’t scare her. Weirdly, they actually made sense to her in a way that not much else did. But the other stuff scared the shit out of her. To be with Alex meant that the world would know Bexley. To be with Alex forever meant that Bexley would have to give up just about everything in her life. And while she knew she wanted the woman, she didn’t know about the other stuff yet.

What frightened Bexley even more, though, was that, despite being so terrified, she was still here. She was sitting at the table, waiting for Her Royal Highness Princess Alexandria to come out of the shower. Bexley didn’t even know if that was the right way to call her. Wasn’t there more to it than that? Alex had the Princess Royal title, too. Where did that one go? Did Bexley have to add the new honorary title as well? How long was Alex’s actual title? And when did Bexley have to use it now that they were dating?Werethey dating? Were theytogether?

“Bex?” Alex asked.

Bexley looked up and saw Alex standing in front of the bed, wearing a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. Her hair was wet and down. She was running a towel over the ends, and she looked so beautiful. Bexley’s breath caught, and all the scary questions disappeared.

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you a very random question?”

“Sure.” Bexley laughed a little.

“Have you ever cut someone’s hair?”

???

“Are you sure?” Bexley checked, holding the old pair of scissors at the spot Alex had told her she wanted to be cut off. “I’ve only ever cut my grandma and brother’s hair. It’s not the same thing. Well, I cut my own bangs when I was a kid. That was a nightmare. I don’t think I should do this, Alex. Let’s go into town if you have to do this today. There’s bound to be a barbershop or a salon or something open. Actually, let’s just wait. When we get back to Kleinland, you can–”

“I want to be myself,” Alex said.

“Babe, it’s just hair. Youareyourself.”

She then watched Alex smile in the mirror, knowing why.

“I’ve always wanted shorter hair.”

“And you’d look hot with it,” Bexley replied, knowing it would be true. “But I could end up getting blamed for ruining the Princess’s hair.”

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