Page 5 of Don't Puck Him

He leans forward, picks up a book on the coffee table and studies its jacket. It’s a different edition of the ancient occult one I left in my car.

“I’m here cause I have problems. It seems I’m not the only one. Why areyoureading shit like this?” He flings it at my head on the wordshit.

I don’t flinch, just raise my hand and easily catch it.

“What’s your problem, asshole?”

He stands up, paces to the door then comes back to stand in front of me.

“My asshole dad got married,” he says.

“To the loud blonde? Sandra, was it?”

“Did I say she was? It was just that one time.” He sits on the edge of the couch and hits his forehead with his palm. “That’s not the point. She moved in with her daughter, who’s the worst. And she’s coming to BC with us.”

This is some news. Cash looks like he wants to run them all over with a semi. Poor guy has to share his house with two women… and worse, he might have to share his inheritance.

“Man, that’s terrible. So we have to find a new venue for our gentlemen’s weekends?” I ask.

“Even worse, they’ve been switching things up in my house. Anytime I go upstairs and come back down, there’s something different. A new table, chairs removed, a fucking wall painted.”

How dare they? I scan my own uncluttered apartment. It’s bare because I love all my shit in the same place at all times. I’d hate for someone to come switch things up with no warning.

“You need to stop it. That’s despicable,” I say.

“Wren’s her name, by the way.”

“Is she a bird brain?”

Cash’s face relaxes, and he lets out a cold laugh.

“She’s a little fucking bird, alright. Always pecking her beak around and throwing me snide looks.”

“Let’s call her snide face.”

“To her face, too. He and Sandra want me to babysit her when school starts.”

“No way is snide face hanging with us. Where is she from?” I ask.

“Malden.”

“What? I’ll disown you if you actually start liking her broke ass. Sandra sounds like a gold digger.”

“I thought so, too. Dad is a dick, but he needs to watch it.” He stands up again. “Wren is so lame that she wanted to join the Coast Guard.”

I don’t see the problem with that. Cash is worked up so I don’t tell him the Coast Guard is pretty cool actually, even though his new sister sounds like some piece of work.

“Can I stay here until we open? I can’t go back there.” He glances at me anxiously.

“Couch is all yours. But what are we gonna do about her?”

He looks down at me and a wicked grin spreads on his face. “You and I will make her regret the day she stepped foot on BC.”

Scare her into transferring? Now that sounds fun. This semester is off to a good start.

3

WREN

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