Page 40 of Whiskey Smoke

So many things. I couldn’t tell him all of it.

I hated that I was going to say this, but I didn’t like the guilty feeling. I sighed. “I should probably try to sleep in the other room again. See if the nightmares have stopped. I haven’t had any in here with you.”

He frowned. “Do you want to sleep in there?”

No. Not even a little bit.

“I don’t want to abuse your kindness. I can’t stay in your space forever.”

Levi said nothing, and I started to worry that he was going to agree with me.

“I’m not sure I could sleep without you in my bed at this point.”

Oh. I stared at him. Slightly in shock. He wanted me in his bed. That made the crazy tingles awaken and begin to taunt me.

“Do you want to leave my bed?”

I licked my lips and shook my head.

His neck flexed as he swallowed. “Good.”

I pressed my thighs together in search of some kind of relief from the achy feeling he had caused between my legs. That was the one thing I wasn’t sure I could take much longer.

“Get some sleep, sweetheart,” he whispered.

If it were only that easy.

I needed to stop looking at him and turn over. This was something that I had to get control over and accept. But I was growing more and more desperate. Deciding to step out of my comfort zone, I took a deep breath and hoped he didn’t kick me out of his bed for this.

“Can I ask you something and you not get mad?”

“You can ask me anything, and I won’t get mad.”

Okay. That was good.

I closed my eyes tightly. This had been easier when I said it in my head. Right now, I was struggling to get it out. “I, uh … Kye has been flirting with me, right?”

I opened my eyes and looked at Levi. By the way his jaw was set, I knew his teeth were clenched.

“Yes.”

Okay, keep going. You can do this.

“Well, he seems to be the type who does things with girls and stays friends with them. I mean, he doesn’t seem to mind it. He can be sexual with a girl without feeling anything more than attraction to her.”

The dark look on Levi’s face made me stop talking. “Has Kye touched you?” he asked me.

I wanted to laugh. I shook my head. “No, but that’s what I am getting at.”

“You want to fuck Kye?” he growled out, looking furious.

“No! God, no! That’s not what I am trying to say.” I sighed, frustrated. “I’ve never had an orgasm. I’ve been kissed a few times by the same guy. No touching. Nothing. I just … I want to get to feelthat.I’m not someone who has a relationship. I can’t—” I stopped, not wanting to say that I was broken. Not to him. “I’m twenty. I want to know what it feels like.”

Levi rolled onto his back and rubbed his face with his hand. “Fuck,” he muttered.

“I shouldn’t have talked about this with you.”

I had made things awkward. He didn’t deserve this.

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