Page 36 of But He's My Grumpy Neighbor

I toy with the blanket in my lap, trying to go through my breathing exercises in a manner that doesn’t alert him to something being wrong.

“I genuinely don’t know what to say if a guy were to approach me.” The blood rushes out of my face as a realization occurs. “What ifno oneapproaches me? That would be so embarrassing. I can’t do this.”

I cradle my face in my hands, all too aware of the rising tension in my chest. I haven’t had a panic attack in months, so it figures one would come up in front of Adrian. As if the man didn’t have enough reason to distance himself from me.

My mouth goes dry and I can’t manage to suck in a full breath. Tremors begin to shake my hands. I worry that the feeling will spread to my whole body soon if I can’t get myself under control. But thinking about controlling my anxiety only serves to make memoreanxious.

Suddenly, warm fingers are around my wrist and light fills my eyes once more as Adrian tugs my hands away from my face. He’s closed the distance between us and is staring me down with a tenderness that yanks the breath out of my lungs. This isn’t exactly helpful considering my heart is beating so fast I can hear it in my ears. I should probably breathe, but my thoughts are rushing so fast that I can’t recallhow.

“Name five things you can see,” he says in a tone that leaves no room for rebellion. I blink at him.

“Your eyes,” I murmur and he gives an encouraging nod. He’sso closeto me. I have to turn my head away to be able to name anything else. “Murphy, your apothecary cabinet, my plant, a white mug. I-is that five?”

“Yes, good job. Now name five things you can hear.”

“Murphy’s snores,” I say and strain my ears for something more. Panic inflates in my chest once more. “I can’t–”

Adrian cuts me off, rubbing circles on the inside of my wrists.

“Shhh it’s okay, I shouldn’t have gone with that one. Too quiet here. Name five things you can feel.”

I suck in a shuddery breath.

“The couch cushion, the blanket, my sweater, my socks …” I meet his eyes as the tension eases some. “Your hands.”

The pattern of circles stutters for a moment before he continues. I focus on the navy rim around his cool blue irises and the comfort of his touch. My breathing returns to normal and my muscles relax.

“I’m okay,” I whisper, but his hands don’t leave my wrists and his eyes are still on me. “Thank you. I can usually just breathe through it, but it didn’t work tonight. That’s a good trick.”

“I learned it to help someone I care about,” he says, not elaborating on who. “I’m glad it helped. You don’t have to go to this event tomorrow if it causes this much stress, Juliette.”

There’s a wrinkle between his brows that makes my lips tip up. He’s concerned for me.

“I just got a little overwhelmed. I think if I can practice some I’ll have gotten over the worst of my anxiety.”

“If you’re certain.” He looks like he wants to say more–probably tell me not to go–but he doesn’t. It’s sweet that he’s concerned, but mere concern isn’t going to keep me from going. If he were to lean down and kiss me, however …

My eyes flick down to his lips, then back up to his eyes. There’s a chance my senses are dulled from all of the stress, but I swear his eyes drop to my lips too. I’m pretty sure that’s thekiss mecue. Except, no kiss occurs.

Adrian lets go of my wrists and scoots backward while clearing his throat.

“So, do you want to practice what to say when a guy comes up to you?” he asks, not really looking at me, more above me.

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

Not really, though. I know that tomorrow night–even if it’s not terrible–is going to be spent thinking of Adrian’s strong hands circling my wrists. Wondering what it would be like if he wouldn’t have let go and had kissed me instead. Imagining what it would be like to spend a Valentine’s Day with a man who buys me my favorite dessert and knows how to bring me down from a panic attack.

Yes, even if tomorrow isn’t a tornado of awkward, it’s going to be torturous nonetheless because Adrian won’t be by my side. And I’ve come to like it far too much when he is.

“I do not need to know how to leverage a guy’s weight tobody slamhim. This is a singles’ event, not an MMA tournament.” My head falls back laughing, Adrian’s chuckles intermingling with the sound like a perfect harmony.

“You never know when you’ll need to defend yourself,” he says through his laughter.

We’ve spent the past hour going over various small talk options. So far I’ve learned that we both hate small talk and I’d much rather sit with him and drink tea than be anywhere else. But I do feel more confident about tomorrow, so that’s something.

“Now every time a guy comes up to me I’m going to think of this conversation and end up in hysterics. I’ll scare everyone away.”

“You couldn’t scare anyone away, which is why you need to know self-defense.”

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