Page 76 of Playing to Win

“Don’t worry, Mom says she thinks it’s because you don’t like knowing I live with someone in a father-figure role who isn’t you. But I know you don’t really have girlfriends. I know if it weren’t for Uncle Drew and Aunty Sarah, you would spend all your time between the four walls of your apartment and the gym.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Stop being childish, Dad.”

“What the—”

“Shh, just listen. I know by the way you talk about Mom that you never got over her. Thing is, you always talk about the two of you when you were teenagers. Younger than I am now, even. So, I don’t agree with Mom. I think you don’t pick me up because you’re stuck with an idea of what could have been.”

I lean back into my seat and roll my jaw. I’m about to argue, tell her she’s wrong, but she has nailed me right on. It’s just as impressive as it is annoying. “When did you get so grown up?”

“I have my moments.” A server sets down Cady’s selection of teas. “Thanks. Anyway, Mom and I both agree on one thing.”

“Enlighten me, Dalai Lama.”

She sips from her first miniature cup of tea and rolls her eyes at me as she does. “Izzy pulls you out of your comfort zone. She makes you do things you would never do. Like dancing, and having public arguments. I’m not saying that’s a good thing. My point is, Izzy seems to have an effect on you that no one else has ever had.”

“You and your mom spoke about this?”

“Yes. And we’re both happy for you. Even if Izzy isn’t ‘the one.’” She uses her index fingers for air quotes. “Maybe she’s waking you up. I love you, Dad, but you should have more in your life than that gym.”

I stare at my daughter, wondering when she got so smart. Maybe she’s right. Maybe I like to think of the old Alice, but she isn’t the same person anymore. Maybe I’m not the same boy I was back then, either.

“She told me to apologize to you, by the way. Izzy, I mean. She obviously never meant to hurt your feelings.”

“I know. I read her latest blog post.”

My stomach sinks. “Christ, what has she posted now?”

“You haven’t seen it?”

“If I had, I wouldn’t be asking.”

She grunts, like she’s the adult fed up with my attitude. “You should read it. You should also go see her after breakfast.”

“That’s difficult, since she won’t speak to me.”

“Because you never told her about me. It’s okay. I get why you might not have wanted to. Sometimes we want to pretend we’re something else, right?”

“I would never want to pretend I don’t have the most amazing daughter in the world, Cady. I adore you, you know that. I guess it just didn’t come up, and it was easier to show Izzy a simplified version of myself—a single guy who would argue with her for two weeks, then wave her off to London.”

“Well, the London part I can’t really solve for you. But if you read her blog post, I don’t think you will be so afraid to see her.”

I feel my eyes narrow. “What does this post say?”

“You’ll see.”

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