Page 36 of Bartender Mate

“Deep breaths,” I soothed, pushing the sweaty hair from her forehead and mopping up her tears. “You’re not trapped, Tess. It just takes time for everything to go back to normal.”

“Normal?” Tess shreaked, pulling another moan from Quasar, who really wasn’t doing any better than our petite human. “What the fuck do you mean normal?” Twisting and turning, it took all three of us to keep her still before she tore her precious flesh, and caused harm to herself and our mate who was hopelessly tied to her. “Because here on Earth, nothing about this” –she gestured at the place where their bodies were entwined– “is normal!”

Quasar flopped back onto the bed as much as he could, hands over his eyes as he tried to hide from the female straddling his hips and sobbing. He looked sick. The normal warm and vibrant purple of his scales had gone a horrifying gray, and I just prayed that he didn't vomit.

My heart went out of my most impulsive mate. His undying faith that everything would be fan-fucking-tastic just as soon as Tess accepted the bond had led him into this predicament, sure, but I didn’t want to see him in pain any more than I wanted to feel the fear and outrage radiating off Tess in waves.

“Can I tell you a secret?” I asked, rubbing my hands up and down her back.

“Unless it’s a way to get that out of me, I’m not interested,” she snapped, turning to glare at me, face all blotchy and the whites of her eyes still too wide. “It hurts, Radon.”

My stomach heaved. I hated hearing the pain and loathing in her voice.

“It hurts because you’re fighting it,” Quasar ground out through clenched teeth. “If you would just relax, it would feel amazing. We’re made for each–”

“Shut up, Quasar. Your silver tongue got me into this,” Tess sobbed, pushing at his chest, trying to sit up and only making the knot pull harder. “Fuck this alien shit. Sam had it all wrong. This isn’t some cosmic ‘fated by stars’ bullshit. This is a big fucking cosmic joke. But guess what, Radon? Nothing about this is funny.”

I could see how this was going to go.

Tess wasn’t calming down. If anything, she was working herself higher. Convincing herself we would never work, that our mating was doomed from the start, just as I’d told Asteroid. But a new calm was settling upon me as I realized I knew exactly how she felt.

Our mate was fiercely independent and right now everyone in her strange new life was telling her that our bonding was inevitable. That she had zero choice in the matter of her own destiny. That was never going to set our bartender mate free. Even if she accepted the bond under those circumstances, she would only feel trapped and grow to resent our mating.

Her human logic was screaming that we four–a human and three Drakon males–shouldn’t work. But a voice deep inside of me was yelling that it could… if we only we had the courage of our ancestors to embrace our differences and find common ground. And that process would start with me and this beautiful reflection of imminent destruction, working herself into a frenzy right in front of me.

So I blurted it out, the dark truth I’d kept inside all this time, even though I knew it might hurt my other bonded mates.

“I was scared, too, the first time I took Asteroid’s knot.” I ignored the sharp intake of breath from Asteroid on the other side, and kept my focus entirely on our intended mate. But Tess wasn’t looking at me. She was still fighting against Quasar’s knot and Asteroid’s hold as he held her writhing body steady, locked in ardor that had turned so swiftly to anguish with our bonded mate. “I’d never been with another male, nor female for that matter. I’d never had sex, let alone taken a mate. The thought of something the size of a knot being forced inside of me was terrifying. I felt how big my own knot got, and I thought taking Asteroid’s would hurt.”

“That’s because it fucking does,” Tess sobbed, a fresh rush of tears flowing down her cheeks, chest hitching as her cries turned to hiccups. “It’s the worst thing I’ve ever felt.”

“Please don’t make this worse,” Quasar groaned, smacking at me.

His mortification and anger at himself for the pain he was causing in our intended mate made me want to cry. This was exactly what I feared the most, that we wouldn’t fit, wouldn’t work. But seeing my own pain reflected back on me by Tess in this moment helped soothe an ache deep in my soul.

Because what if Asteroid and Quasar were right?

What if we were exactly what each other needed?

What if the four of us were destined to bring out the best in our fated mates, rather than the worst as I’d always feared?

“It doesn’t have to, love,” I crooned, soothing away her tears with gentle kisses. “And you’re not trapped, I promise. You are in complete control here, not Quasar’s beast. The power is ultimately up to you. Only the unbonded mate can make the call to embrace forever. The knot is his dragon’s way of declaring his intentions to you. It’s saying our bond goes deeper than physical release. It is a touching of the souls. The knot invites us to enjoy the intimacy which comes after the passion. To spend time in each other’s arms.”

Asteroid, as though sensing Tess’ panic receding, eased away from his hold. Our intended mate remained slumped over Quasar, held steady now only by my hands on her face as we looked into each other’s eyes. I felt humbled by the unfathomable depth of her gaze. My intended had an entire universe in her gaze as she held onto my every word.

I gave her a dark smirk. “The first time is rough, I’ll grant you that. But it gets so much better. I promise.”

Tess huffed a dark laugh. “You promise, huh?”

But she let out a small sigh, melting further into me, asking silently for my touch to anchor her through the storm.

I was only too glad to give this incredible female anything. Whatever she needed in order to release that brave ferocity I’d seen burning in her soul when she’d taken on the Drakon Hunter’s deadly Enforcer.

“It does,” I assured her. “Like you, I was so convinced that it would hurt that I remember bracing, biting into a pillow, just so I could get through the ordeal.” I could feel Asteroid’s distress at the memory thrumming through the bond, but he dared not speak and destroy the spell of calm I was weaving between our intended and I. “You see, I never had a mother to teach me what it would be like when I had a mate, and my fathers had all been too lost in their own grief to give me much of anything… No love, no childhood, no family. Nothing.”

“I lost my parents too,” she whispered. I marveled at the sight of a tear–not for herself but for me–as it rolled down her cheek. “So how did you get through it?” Tess mumbled, throat still hoarse from the screaming.

“My intended mate talked me through it.”

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