Page 84 of Pucking Wild

“I went back to my office. Troy followed me. We argued.”

“You argued about me.”

“We argued about a lot of things,” she says, her gaze lowering to somewhere around my left shoulder. “I wanted to understand why—after years of separation and both of us seeing other people—whywould he suddenly care if I was with you? That’s when I realized…”

I raise a brow at her, waiting.

“It’s because it’syou,” she says at last.

I mull that over for a moment before admitting, “I don’t understand.”

“You’re everything he wishes he could be,” she replies, finding my gaze again. “You have a career of your own, not one your mother hand-selected for you. You’re rich, handsome, athletic. You’re the whole package, Ryan. And you’re a man.”

My brow furrows in confusion. “What does my being a man have to do with anything?”

“I’m bi,” she explains. “After Troy, I swore off dicks, literally and metaphorically,” she adds. “For the last three years, I’ve pretty much only dated women. And Troy is just enough of a misogynistic asshole to delude himself into thinking my girlfriends were just that, girls who were friends. But the moment I’m pictured with a man, he suddenly sees red. It’s just so typical. And so deeply disappointing.”

“You say he saw red…”

She gives me a warning look. “Please, don’t push this.”

But I can’t help it. “Tess, did he hurt you because of me? Because of those pictures?”

She shakes her head, but the look in her eyes is giving her away.

“Tess, did he put his hands on you?” Tears burn my eyes at the thought of this person I care for—any person—being abused.

“I’m fine,” she soothes. “He choked me a little and he pushed me around, but I calmed him down, okay? I got him to stop.”

I feel gutted, sick. “Tess…oh, baby, I’m so sorry. But—did you report him? Did you call the police—”

“No,” she says quickly. “Ryan, I’m not getting the police involved. That is not the solution here.”

“Not the solution?” I repeat. “He fucking choked you, Tess. Was that the first time? Has he hurt you before?”

She doesn’t answer and I know I’m gonna kill him. But he’s not my priority right now. Tess is. I take her by the shoulders. “Look, I’m not trying to scare you here, but this all sounds really fucking serious. You’re describing an escalating pattern of violence, triggered by you threatening to leave him. You need to get a restraining order. And that’s just for a start. You need to document the attack too. You need a police record. I can help you. I have contacts—”’

She pulls away from my grip. “I need you to let me handle this my way, okay? I’m not out here trying to be another statistic. I know this man. I know what he’s capable of. I’ve got my exit strategy in place, okay? My way will work. And this is not your burden to carry or your problem to fix.”

My outrage simmers. “You’re telling me your psycho ex is using me to ruin your fucking life. You’re telling me he hurt you because you said you were with me. Forgive me if that feels like my problem too.”

“I’m sorry.” Her hand brushes my shoulder again. “Ryan, I’m so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. And I was never going to tell you—”

“What?” I inch away from her hand. “What was the plan then? You would just keep living with me and flirting with me and driving me fucking crazy while your psycho ex withholds a divorce because of me? What kind of fucking plan is that?”

“I don’t have a plan!” she cries. “You’re the Virgo who runs around organizing your life down to your damn calorie counts. I’m loud and chaotic and terrified of being alone. That’s why I came. There was no plan, I was just so fucking terrified of being alone.Again.”

Fuck, my heart is breaking for her. I reach out but she pulls away.

“I couldn’t stay there another second,” she goes on. “So, I went to the one place I’ve always felt safe, the one person. I came home to Rachel. Only she’s married now, and her priorities are different—and I love that for her,” she adds quickly. “But I am fucking terrified. I begged Troy for a divorce. I told him I’d give him anything. Everything. He can use any evidence he wants, and I’ll agree to it. I’ll say I was the one cheating this whole time—with you, with anyone. He can be the injured party. I won’t contest a thing. I just want to be free.”

“Tess, I’m so sorry,” I say, reaching for her again. “Please, let me help—”

“You’re not listening,” she cries. “Ryan, I was going to use you. Iamusing you. Stop being so nice to me!”

I drop my hand back to my side.

“You deserve so much better than me. You want things that I can’t give you. In this moment, I feel like all I can do is take. I’m in survival mode, and I’ll only drag you down with me.”

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