Page 128 of Pucking Wild

Rachel grabs Jake’s arm, checking the time on his Apple watch. She whimpers, pressing her face deeper into the pillow. “Tess, no. My alarm was going off in fifteen minutes.”

“Everything okay?” Jake says at me, rubbing a tired hand over his face.

Rachel elbows him. “Don’t ask her that. Now we’ll never get her out of here.”

“Hey, it could be important,” he counters.

“No, it’s about sex,” she replies. “Frantic texts and phone calls are for work emergencies. Late-night whine and cheese sessions are for family stuff. Early morning freak-outs are only ever about Tess thinking with her vagina instead of her head.”

“Rude,” I say at her, one hand on my hip. “Don’t act like you know me.”

She sighs, sitting up in the bed, propped against her pillows. She’s wearing a cute little silk nightie, blue with pink lace. “Tell me I’m wrong,” she says through a yawn, her fingers brushing Jake’s hair back from his brow. “Is this or is this not about your greedy little kitty scratching up the wrong tree last night?”

“Rakas, take her downstairs,” Ilmari mutters, his face still buried under a pillow.

“No, it’s cold down there,” I say, hurrying over to his side of the bed. Grabbing the covers, I flip them back to expose his freaking awesome back tattoo and his pearly white derrière. “Mars, scooch ov—mygod! Why are you naked?”

Mars snatches the blankets as Jake and Rachel laugh. “It’s my bed,” he barks.

“God, I’m not getting under there with you naked,” I huff.

“Good.”

I snatch the little knit throw blanket off the end of the bed and use that to cover my legs as I take up the spot next to Mars on top of the covers. “Where’s Caleb?” I say, glancing around.

“He wanders in and out,” Rachel says with another yawn.

“How did you even get in here?” Mars asks.

“I used my key,” I reply setting my coffee down on the side table.

“And how did you get a key?”

“Because I gave it to her, remember?” Rachel replies, her hand reaching out to pet his hair too.

He scoots closer to her. “How did she disable the alarm—”

“Oh my god, officer, I confess, alright?” I say, throwing up both hands in mock surrender. “I broke in through a window, ducked the net of laser beams, and disabled the alarm by cutting the blue wire.”

“Hey, I’ve seen that movie,” Jake teases.

“What the hell is going on in here?”

We all turn to see a very naked Caleb standing in the doorway.

“God,” I cry, my hand going up to cover my eyes. “Do none of you have clothes?”

He saunters up to the other side of the bed, leaning down to kiss Jake, then across him to kiss Rachel. “What is Tess doing here at 6:30 a.m.?”

“Girl gossip,” Jake replies as Rachel says, “Vagina monologues.”

Jake tosses him a pillow and he casually holds it in front of his naked lower half. “I need to get ready for work,” he says at his partners.

“Mars and I don’t need to be in until nine,” Jake replies.

“I’m going in at eight,” Rachel adds.

“That doesn’t mean I need to suck my own dick in there, does it?” Caleb replies, gesturing to the bathroom.

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