Page 82 of Pucking Wild

“It’s happened before,” he intuits, his gentle gaze still locked on me. “You’ve been invisible before.”

I nod.

“Tell me when.”

“All my life,” I whisper, breaking our gaze to stare out at the blank expanse of dark ocean instead. “It’s all I’ve ever known. Everyone who was meant to love me, people I needed to care, people I needed to protect me…they all closed their eyes.” My eyes close too as a tear slips down my cheek. “They didn’t see me, Ryan. I was just a child, and they didn’t care.”

Ryan turns us until we’re practically face to face. With his hand still holding the end of the towel, he tips my chin up, forcing me to look at him. “Listen to me, Tess. I don’t know who you were before. All I know is who you are now. And from the first moment we met, not five hundred yards down this exact stretch of beach, you have been theonlything I see.”

I suck in a breath, eyes wide as I gaze up at him. “Ryan—”

“I see you, Tess,” he says, dropping his end of the towel to cup my cheek. “Iseeyou. I can’t stop seeing you—your wit, your beauty, your grace. You’re so goddamn graceful. These fingers,” he adds, reaching down to take my hand. “I watch the way they dance through your hair, taming your curls away from your face.”

Lifting my hand to his lips, he kisses each of my fingertips, his lips soft. Each kiss lights me up inside, fanning the flames of my desire for him.

“Maybe you are a ghost,” he goes on, splaying my hand against his chest. “Because your laugh…it fucking haunts me. At the wedding, it was like I couldn’t think, couldn’tbreathe, because you were everywhere all at once, laughing and chatting with everyone. I followed you across the party, Tess. I had to be closer to you, to that sound—I needed to be near you—”

“Ryan,” I murmur, tears brimming in my eyes. “Please…”

“Tell me what you want,” he says, his voice catching as he gazes into my eyes with such depth of feeling.

He’s so good, so kind—tookind. I’ll break him. I’ll ruin this—

“No.” He cups my face with both hands. “Tess, no, goddamn it. Don’t pull away again. I see it in your fucking eyes. They give you away every time. There’s something you’re not telling me. You feel this between us too. I know you do. But something is holding you back from me. Stop pulling away, and let me in.” He drops his forehead down to mine and whispers, “Give me something, baby.Please.”

Throwing all caution to the wind, I hold him by the hips and give him my truth. “I’m only here because of you.”

32

Tess is crying in my arms, and I only want to make it stop. I want to hold her and heal her and be what she needs to move on. Whatever control I thought I had on my emotions, it’s gone. The woman I’m falling for is falling apart and I can’t pick up these pieces on my own.

“Give me something, baby,” I hear myself beg. “Please.”

She goes still in my arms, her hands clinging to my hips. “I’m only here because of you.”

The words hang in the air between us. Instantly, my mind tries to puzzle out their meaning. Which word carried the most emphasis? She’s only herebecauseof me? Or she’s onlyherebecause of me?

She glances up. “Ryan, I’m only in Jacksonville because of you, because of the pictures taken of us dancing together at Rachel’s wedding.”

“Pictures?” I repeat, totally confused.

“One of the caterers was sneaking pictures all night,” she explains. “They sold them to TMZ, who published them all, including several pictures of you and I dancing together looking…well, we don’t look miserable,” she admits. “You really didn’t know? No one told you?”

I rack my brain, trying to think back to the days after the wedding. “I mean, maybe MK mentioned I was in the press a bit, yeah. But I didn’t really think anything of it. The wedding was a big deal. No one mentioned you or pictures with you, that’s for sure.”

“Well, Troy saw the pictures, and he used them to get me put on administrative leave.”

My heart fucking stops. “He what?”

She drops her hands away from me, wrapping the towel tighter around her shoulders. “Yeah, breach of morality clause. He got HR to argue that my behavior with you was indecent enough to warrant a temporary leave. I’ve got six weeks before they’re going to reevaluate, which basically means Troy is giving me six weeks to decide what I want more: a career and a reputation I’ve spent a decade building…or my freedom.”

“Oh, fuck. Tess, I’m so sorry. I’m so…that’s fucking crazy. Over one dance?”

She just shrugs. “I think Troy has just been waiting for the right opportunity. He came down hard. He twisted up the other partners and used the employee contract to force HR into making this move against me.”

“What can I do?” I say. “I could write something—a letter of support or-or some kind of witness statement that nothing happened. Hell, that night I went back to the hotel with the guys and fell asleep on the couch in Morrow’s room. There were witnesses—”

“No. Ryan, you’re sweet to offer, but at this point, it won’t change anything.”

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