Page 18 of Pucking Wild

“I see someone who loves her friends,” I go on. “Someone who puts others first. Maybe I like the idea of being the one who gets to putyoufirst. I like taking care of people, Tess. And I take excellent care of what’s mine.”

She smiles, raising a hand to cup my cheek. Her thumb brushes softly against the corner of my mouth. “I bet you do,” she says.

Why does this feel like goodbye?

I turn my face, leaning into her hand, and press a kiss to her thumb. “I want to see you again,” I admit. “It doesn’t have to be at a game. Pick a weekend, and I’ll fly you down to Jacksonville. Or I could fly up to Cincinnati—”

“No.” She drops her hand away from my face.

Fuck, she’s still pulling away. “Tess—”

“We already agreed,” she says. “You’re a Ray, Ryan. You’re Rachel’s friend, her patient—”

“Nope,” I say, giving her hip another squeeze. “I’m not buying it.”

“You’re not buying that you’re her patient?”

“I’m not buying that as your excuse,” I counter. “Rachel is your friend, not your mother or your keeper. I bet she’d have no problem with you dating a Ray if she thought it was really what you wanted…am I right?”

“My work is crazy right now,” she says, still deflecting. “It was hard enough getting away for this,” she adds, gesturing around.

A work excuse? Really? I’m surprised by her lack of originality. “Look, I’m a grown man, Tess. If you don’t want to see me again because you’re not interested, you can just say that—”

“I do,” she says quickly, pressing herself a little closer. Her hand splays against my chest as she leans in. “Idowant to see you. I like you, Ryan. You’re sweet and funny and I’d love nothing more than to see you again. Maybe in a perfect world, I would get to do only the things I want to do,” she adds, her voice sounding suddenly tired. “But the truth is that my life is a mess right now. It’s not work, it’s…me. It’s complicated.”

“I know you’re divorced,” I say. “Or you’re getting divorced. Doc wasn’t really clear. She didn’t like me being nosy,” I admit with a soft laugh.

Her eyes narrow as she looks up at me.

“But if that’s what’s holding you up—”

“No,” she says quickly. “Well…honestly, yes. I mean, we’re separated. God, we’ve been separated for almost three years.”

“Are you thinking of going back to him? Is that still on the table?” I ask, heart in my throat. No matter how much I may like Tess, I’m not a homewrecker. If her answer is yes, I’ll walk away and not look back. But I’m relieved when she says no.

“I amnevergoing back to Troy,” she adds vehemently.

“So then…what’s the hold up? Just tell me the truth, Tess. Whatever it is, I can take it.”

“The truth?”

I nod, gazing down at her, waiting.

We’ve stopped dancing. I’ve stopped breathing. The party swirls around us, but I don’t register any of it. There’s only her in my arms. There’s only us.

“The truth,” she says again, her lips barely moving.

“Say it.”

Holding my gaze, her lips part. I watch the gentle rise and fall of her chest. I know if I lean close enough, I’ll feel her warm breath ghost across my lips.

“The truth is that a sweet guy like you is likely looking to settle down,” she says at last. “You may not believe in love at first sight, but you believe in love. You believe your Future Mrs. Hockey Boy is right around the next corner. And you believe good things come to good people, and that if you want something bad enough, you can have it. No obstacle is too high. You’re all bright and shiny, Ryan, ready for your life to start.”

My breath is trapped in my chest as I take in her words.

She holds my gaze. “You look at me and you see wife potential, don’t you? Another prize for your shelf. A game to be won. But I’ve been someone’s wife, Ryan,” she goes on, her gaze hardening as she drops her hands away from me. “And I willneverbe a man’s trophy again. We can laugh and dance and tease each other all night long. But when that sun rises, you’ll see the truth. You’ll see me for all that I am. And what I am is a waste of your time.”

With that, she turns on her heel and hurries away, leaving me standing there with empty hands.

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