Page 75 of The Problem with Perfect

My nostrils flare, his words cutting deep, but I don’t look away. I want to tell him Iamgood for her, tell him I’m the kind of guy who could make her happy and all the other things you’re supposed to say in a situation like this, but what I’m really realizing is thatsheis good forme.

Should she really be saddled with someone who is just going to weigh her down? Someone who falls short of everything her family ever hoped for her? Whatshehoped for herself? Because if my feelings for herarereal, the best thing I can do for her is want what’s best for her.

And what’s best for her isn’t me.

chaptertwenty-one

Bellamy

Rusty: Sorry about before. We’ll talk later.

I look at his text from earlier again, a sense of foreboding coming over me even though nothing about his message necessarily says I should feel that way.

Knowing Boyd is in town just makes me nervous. I know it will be a reminder to Rusty that their relationship is more important than the one he has with me. He’ll remember how young I am and that I’m not what he ultimately wants in his life—not that he was feeling any differently before.

I sigh and stare up at the ceiling of my bedroom, wishing I hadn’t taken tonight off of work. I should have still gone in for my shift instead of switching with Danielle. She asked me to take her Monday lunch shift in exchange, and waitressing on Monday lunch is basically asking for five bucks in tips, total—not at all an even trade.

Glancing at my phone again, I try to come up with something else I can do with my time. I could…watch a movie. Or lay out on the dock. Maybe go on a drive and play some country music like I used to do when I was stressed about school.

But really, I just don’t feel like being alone. On a whim, I scroll through my contacts and click on Emily’s name. She’s probably working, but Celine hired two new bartenders last week, so who knows? Maybe she’s free.

“Hey, girl!”

I smile when she answers.

“Hi. What are you up to?”

“Oh, just watchingChipswith Gam. A pretty wild Thursday night for us.”

“Sounds like a blast,” I say, laughing.

“Wanna join?”

I lick my lips, thinking it over. I was originally going to see if Emily wanted to go do something, but honestly, a night in my jammies, eating snacks with my friend and her grandmother sounds like exactly what tonight calls for.

“I can be there in thirty minutes?”

“We have 25 minutes left in this episode, so that sounds perfect.”

I grin. “See you soon.”

A little over half an hour later, I’m sitting on a very comfortable couch on one side of Emily, her Gam on the other, a bowl of popcorn in my lap.

“I’ve never seen this show,” I say, tucking a blanket tighter around my feet.

It might be summer outside, but Gam’s home is set distinctly in the tundra, and I am freezing. Nothing a cozy blanket can’t solve.

“We just started. Gam’s a big fan of Erik Estrada.”

“I put the subtitles on to watch him in the telenovelas,” Gam says, giving me a sassy smile. “Dos Mujeres, Un Caminois my favorite. Hearing that man speak in Spanish is so sexy.”

I tuck my lips between my teeth, trying not to laugh, and Emily just rolls her eyes with a smile.

She’s warned me before that her grandmother says some crazy things. Apparently the two of them did a binge-watch ofSex and the Cityover Christmas, and the things Emily texted, direct quotes from Gam that always included #gamandthecity, had me rolling.

We dive intoChips, a late-70s show about two motorcycle cops in LA, and snack on chocolate and popcorn for as long as Gam can keep her eyes open. Around nine, she begins to fade and ends up telling us good night before heading down the hall to her bedroom.

“Wanna go sit on the porch?” Emily asks, flicking off the TV and beginning to pick up the chocolate wrappers and soda cans from the coffee table. “Gam’s hearing isn’t great, but I try not to make too much noise after she goes to bed.”

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