Page 72 of The Problem with Perfect

I’m just trying to be honest, but she looks kind of dejected, her shoulders sinking slightly.

“Oh, okay.”

“But here’s what Icantell you,” I say, thinking maybe I cangive her some advice, even if it’s not much. “I think people are pretty honest about who they are and what they want. They speak their interests and desires out loud, for the most part. You can see it in how they treat the people around them, who they spend their time with, where they direct their attention.” I shrug. “Is there something about Connor that makes you think he’d give you a deeper connection or closer relationship if you asked for it?”

Stace licks her lips. “I’m not sure. I really haven’t given something like that much thought before.”

“Knee-jerk reaction—you and Connor having long chats about your dreams.”

Her eyes fall from mine, and I can tell she doesn’t like her own thoughts.

It makes sense to me that she’d eventually realize she and Connor might not have the connection she originally thought. Stace is clearly an intelligent, thoughtful person, and the fact that she got caught up in Connor is just another example of how manipulative the guy really is.

When Bellamy said she thought she loved him until she realized she never really knew him, she couldn’t have been more right. Even his own fiancée feels adrift when it comes to their relationship.

“I think the fact that you’re reading a book that’s all about trusting yourself and asking for what you want out of life and relationships is a great indicator of you wanting more.” I pause, trying to decide how best to phrase this. “Maybe Connor has already shown you who he is and what he’s capable of.”

Stace looks away, over to a group of children playing in the pool, lost in her thoughts. She tucks a loose piece of hair behind her ear then looks back at me.

“Yeah,” she finally says, her voice soft and a little bit sad. “I was kind of thinking the same thing.”

We sit together for a few beats before she gives me a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes and stands.

“I think I’m gonna head out on a walk,” she says. “Thanks for being willing to chat for a bit. I really appreciate it.”

I nod. “Any time, Stace.”

She heads back inside, and I stay out by the pool, thinking over our conversation. As brief as it was, it was pretty heavy, much more so than I anticipated based on her original request.

The truth is that she wanted me to tell her how to make Connor a person who cares more about others, and you can’t force that into someone. You just can’t.

I might have had my fair share of no-strings hookups, but the reason I’m great with Bellamy is not because we’re faking our relationship.

It’s because I care, and not just about her—about everyone: my friends, my family, the people in this town. There’s an element of selflessness that goes into loving others and caring about them, and selflessness is something that translates into very specific behaviors.

Listening when they have something to say.

Helping when things are hard.

Communicating even when it isn’t easy.

Learning how to be more intentional.

And most importantly, changing when you realize you can be better.

* * *

Bellamy: When’s our next lesson?

The sight of a text from Bellamy on Thursday afternoon has plenty of thoughts running through my head about when we might meet up next and what it could look like. I’ve been imagining our nextlessonever since our first one, and only this morning as I stood in the shower with my dick in my hand and Bellamy on my mind did I settle on what it would be.

Me: When are you free?

I’ve barely sent it through before the text bubbles pop onto the screen letting me know she’s responding.

Bellamy: Tonight. I swapped on the off chance you’d be free.

I smirk.

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