Page 48 of The Problem with Perfect

The guys get up from the table and head over to a little bricked-in hole in the ground surrounded by a bunch of mismatched chairs as us ladies clear the table and take the dishes inside. When I step back out just a few minutes later, they have the beginnings of a campfire going.

“Tonight is the perfect night for a fire,” Abby says as she settles into a chair next to Andy.

I glance around, quickly realizing there are only five chairs.

“Oh, shoot. I’m sorry, Bellamy.” She starts to get up. “I have an extra chair in my car. Normally it’s just the five of us, so I didn’t think to grab it.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I tell her, walking toward where Rusty is seated on the only wooden chair around the fire. “I’d rather sit here anyway.”

I see Rusty’s eyes widen just slightly as I stop in front of him, but it only takes him a second to follow my lead and adjust how he’s sitting to stick his knee out just a little bit. I take a seat and wrap my arm around his shoulders, trying to ignore the flutter I get when one of his hands rests on my hip, the other on my knee. His fingers flex, gripping and releasing a few times, like he can’t decide what to do.

My original intent was to make myself physically close to Rusty, hoping it would contribute to breaking down his wall again. Even though I wasn’t trying to make this in any way sexual, I now realize my mistake. For whatever reason, when he touches me, it lights me on fire. Rusty sets something inside me ablaze without even trying, and I can’t help my desire to snuggle closer into him.

I stare into the fire, the sounds of the conversation around me turning into a distant murmur I can barely understand as I focus on the feel of Rusty’s body surrounding mine, holding me. He says something, and I feel the vibration of it through his chest.

I close my eyes for just a minute.

“Let’s just hope you don’t embarrass the Fuller name any more than you already have.”

I feel Rusty tense beneath me, and my head whips to the side, glaring at Abby, who has a smile on her face. I might have checked out of the conversation for a few minutes, but I heard what she said with crystal clarity.

“What did you just say?”

She waves her hand like it’s not a big deal. “Oh, I was just teasing. Rusty’s got a history, you know? Now that he’s dating you, maybe people will start to see him differently.” She gestures between the two of us. “You’re super cute together. I was just telling him not to screw it up.”

“Well it’s never easy to succeed at things when people are constantly reminding you of every mistake you’ve ever made.” My tone reflects the irritation I feel inside. Now I understand why Rusty feels like people in town are just waiting for him to fail, why he shared that huge emotional weight he’s been carrying around the other night in the car.

“Woah, Bellamy,” Abby says, holding her hands up as concern flashes across her face. “I was just teasing.”

“Hey, you don’t have to defend me.” Rusty squeezes my thigh.

“Rusty is an incredible person,” I continue, ignoring them both. “I don’t doubt you know that—you’re his sister, so you probably know him better than any of us, but I can promise you Rusty is hard enough on himself about everything in his life. He isconstantlyworried about letting down the people he loves, so what he doesn’t need is for the most important person in his life to add fuel to that fire.”

Everyone is silent, only the crackling of the burning wood sounding around us.

Abby blinks a few times, and I can tell even in the dimming light that her eyes are growing glassy. Part of me feels bad about the fact that I might have made someone cry, but honestly, maybe sheneedsto cry about it. Maybe sheneedsto be reminded that she can’t shit on people she loves, even as a joke.

While I’m sure she didn’t have bad intentions, I doubt she realizes the impact her words have on her brother. I sat in the car the other day and listened to the worry in his voice as he told me he doesn’t want to be a failure, told me he’s terrified of letting people down, and if there’s any chance I might be able to ease some of that fear, no matter how small a part, I’m taking it.

No matter what bridge I might burn in the process.

chapterfourteen

Rusty

“You didn’t have to do that.”

Bellamy turns to look at me from where she stands at the end of the dock, her chin high, an expression on her face so stubborn I want to just kiss it right off.

“Yes, I did. I don’t care if we’re actually dating or not—I’ll defend you to anyone who tries to talk shit. Whether it’s your sister or someone in town…or even you.”

I should be irritated at her for dampening the mood, but I’m honestly feeling a fullness in my chest that I wasn’t expecting. This is the second time Bellamy has leapt to my defense, the first time being in the car on Sunday. Maybe I never realized how important something like that is to me until just now, that ride-or-die mentality. Hailey certainly wasn’t ever that way, and it’s been a long time since I’ve let a woman get close enough for it to matter.

With Bellamy, it matters. Even if we’re technically just friends, having her on my team makes me feel like I could face anything and not get knocked down. Or, hell, even if Idoget knocked down, I have someone there to dress my wounds and tell me to get back out there.

The more I spend time with Bellamy, the more I’m starting realize that…developing real, true feelings for her is more than just a possibility. It’s a reality. I keep telling myself I need to work on keeping a boundary so nothing happens between us, but that ship has sailed. It has sailed and crashed into a rock and sunk to the bottom of the ocean.

I’m falling for Bellamy Mitchell, and I don’t know how to stop it.

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