Page 76 of Beautiful Chaos

Joe nods and pats Ryder on the shoulder. “Good call, you all were going to end up at this decision anyway,” he whispers. “You just cut out her having to lead you to it.”

Charlene rolls her eyes. “I wouldn’t have been upset by those private schools if that was what they wanted. They’ve just fought so hard for this town. It’s only right to treat it like home.” Scar and Jade both hug her and place kisses on her cheeks as they thank her for doing the leg work. None of this would be possible without her holding the fort down behind us. Keeping the home and family for us to come back to.

“The kids will start in just about two weeks then,” I hear her explain and my heart drops to my feet. My panic at making the right decision made me completely forget what we were actually discussing.

Roe baby is going into Kindergarten.

Holy fuck.

Chapter Nineteen Scar

Soft music playsfrom my phone as I tuck Roe into bed and climb in next to her. A soft smile plays on my lips. She really has come so far. I can’t believe we’re already talking about sending her to elementary school. The few months after we brought her home with us, she couldn’t sleep alone. For a few months after that, she couldn't fall asleep unless someone was laying with her until she was out. Nowadays, she can put herself to bed like a champ.

Even though she doesn’t need it anymore, she gives me a huge smile when I cuddle into bed next to her. I want to soak up these moments of her still being small, still wanting us close to her.

“You’re staying?” she asks in a small but thrilled voice.

“I’ve missed cuddles with my favorite girl,” I tell her honestly, stroking her hair back from her face.

A big yawn overtakes her expression and I smile, enjoying every bit of this small moment between us. “Will I get to live with you again soon?”

Her question breaks my heart. Her transition was never going to be easy, not after everything she was forced to endure at such a young age. All the turmoil and upheaval of our lives haven’t made it any easier on her. Just when she thought she found her forever home, we shipped her off to Charlene and Joe. Then, she got used to being there only for us to relocate all of them and put them into hiding.

I still have a lot of doubts about how good of a mom I could ever really be, but the thing about Roe is she makes me want to try. Makes me want to do and be better. To give her everything I couldn’t give my sisters. Everything she should have gotten from her birth parents and didn’t.

“Yeah, sweet girl,” I whisper. “We’re going to all be together soon,” I promise her.

She smiles, fully trusting in every word I say and that pulls at something deep in my soul. The love and trust she puts in me. To hold such a fragile flower’s life in my hands. It makes the evil of this world that crushes that innocence all the more confusing to me.

“Will you sing to me, Momma?”

“Always, sweet girl.” Her eyes flutter as she fights sleep, but it takes less than one of her favorite songs before she’s completely out, a soft, light snore filling the air between us.

I lay with her for several minutes longer, soaking in her innocence, her resilience, her strength that is so different from my own. She somehow managed to retain her innocence even after being abused so violently.

It’s like trying to extricate myself from an octopus when I do decide to climb out of her bed. Her little legs are intertwined with my own, and her arms are tightly wrapped around my neck, gripping tighter every time I try to move. Even in her sleep, she knows what she wants.

I grab my phone and text Noah to ask for backup. He appears in the doorway only moments later. “I thought you might need help,” he whispers, smiling widely. He helps me slip out of Roe’s grasp and replaces my neck with one of her favorite stuffed animals. I roll my eyes when I see he chose the dolphin he won for her.

Maybe it wasn’t that she was able to retain her innocence, maybe we were all able to give just a little of it back to her by loving her and treating her like the baby girl she still is. The thought brings me some peace, softens one of the hard, jaded edges that has brought not only me, but others around me, pain for a long time.

We slip out of her room quickly and head to the office. I was surprised when the guys allowed Charles to follow them there, even if it was reluctantly. No more surprised than they were when Roe showed up and I didn’t freak out, I’m sure.

Despite what Luca may believe, based on the dirty looks he couldn’t help but throw my way, I hadn’t planned it. However, I could have called it off once Charles had shown up and made the decision not to. I want my girl home. With us. Always.

If we continue to hide her, we’ll never get to that point, never be able to put her in public school, pick her up and drop her off normally. I’d rather claim her as ours, blanket her in the protection our name alone gives her, and slaughter every enemy that ever thinks they could use her as a pawn to hurt us.

Noah and I walk into the office and go through the open doors to our real work domain. An awkward and tense silence hangs in the air, no one in the room looking at one another. All except Declan, who has one side of his mouth tilted up in just the slightest suggestion of a smile. He’s enjoying this a little too much. Of course, he’s the one that has the easiest time accepting Charles. He understands him in a way none of the other guys can.

Maybe in a way even I can’t.

My stomach turns as I remember the story of his fiancée. How easily that could have been me. Had I not found Kade and Luca to keep me afloat. If Charles hadn’t pulled strings behind the scenes.

I clear my throat as we walk into the room in an attempt to break the silence. It hangs heavily in the air, feels almost wrong to break it.

“So,” I drag out the words carefully, swinging my hands in front of me to clasp them together. “Any thoughts on how to find the last two men?”

Noah squeezes my shoulder as he brushes past me to get to his favorite computer on the left side of the room. He hits a few buttons, the clacks of each press loud in the silence that follows my words. Thanks for that assholes.

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