Page 31 of Beautiful Chaos

“You will be cleaning up the kitchen,” Luca yells after us as we turn down the hallway.

Britt must have heard him. “Is it safe to come in here?” she asks. “I can never trust what kind of mess I’m walking into.” She scoffs, “Oh, joy. White liquid on the counter. Why are we here again?”

Chapter Eight Scar

The familiar buzzof energy and noise that floods through the room brings me another dose of peace.

Already the power of being back in control floods my system as everyone turns to watch Kade and I walk into the room.

“Look who decided to finally show up,” Britt calls out.

I roll my eyes. “I’ve been here. Someone decided to be an ass.”

“How is that different from every other day?” Jade asks, grinning.

Kade and I both flip her off at the same time, but I don’t respond to her. It’s all been a much needed reprieve, the casual banter that is our normal. I didn’t realize just how much it was needed until I could feel some of the worries easing from my mind. But now that we’re in our command center, I’m ready to get back to business. The worries haven’t disappeared, they won’t abate until we have solid plans for our next moves and I know that everyone is on the same page again.

It’s been too long since we’ve all been together and gotten shit done. Especially with just how much we have going on. All the moving pieces finally need to come together.

The atmosphere of the room instantly shifts as I take my usual spot and open my laptop that’s already waiting for me. Everyone falls silent as they watch me. Their expressions reflect the feelings bubbling up inside of me. A fierce determination to finally reap the rewards we have been carefully sowing. Some of us for months, but most of us for years. Almost a decade now.

They do say that revenge is a dish best served cold. Maybe that’s why there are times that I feel as if I’m filled with ice. As if my very blood has frozen over, waiting for these very moments I’m living now. I never thought so much unease would come with the last preparations.

The room mirrors the mess in my own soul. My team is overflowing with their drive to take the next steps, a feral excitement in the air coursing between us all. Almost enough to make the hair raise on my arms. But we aren’t without our grief and anxiety. A constant companion nowadays. I fear the day where we forget the sharp pain of all we lost will never come.

“We have a lot of pieces on the board,” I start as I pull up my notes on my computer. “Too many moving pieces that make it hard to see the bigger picture.”

“Hence the meeting, I suppose,” Joe says.

I grin. “It isn’t just because I missed all your ugly faces.”

A few dry chuckles sound throughout the room as everyone relaxes into their seats, but I don’t miss the varying signs of nerves throughout the room. The cool look in Joe’s eyes as he braces himself for new developments, or the tinge of worry in Britt’s. Holden’s fingers dance over the edge of the couch in a rapid rhythm as his eyes flash between Jade and me. While Mikey is tense at the door, arms crossed over his chest.

Guilt and shame writhe in my chest. We’re in shambles compared to the flawless unit we were before that damned gala. No one else has changed, only me. I swallow thickly, not letting the tears that prickle the back of my eyes to show. I can’t continue to falter. Continue to let everyone down.

“We’re normally better at all working together and being aware of all that’s going on. Ever since the gala, we’ve all been moving in different directions without a center point.”

Luca nods along with my words. “There has been a disconnect between all of us recently.” A few more people nod along with his words. Luca is probably the most informed of all of us. He’s stepped up where I have fallen back, where I’ve been falling apart. He’s seamlessly taken on all the additional duties I normally carry out while I have been struggling to maintain my sanity. While I’ve been throwing myself into digging up every piece of intel I can gather on Donahue, Luca has been overlooking everything else. Including the team and what everyone has been doing. No wonder I feel so out of control. I hadn’t realized just how many of the reins I had passed to him unintentionally. He looks to me and waits for my nod before he continues, “We do have a lot going on, so I think it’s best if each team gives an update.” He gives everyone a moment to interject, but no one has anything to say.

“Let’s start with the fights,” I suggest. “Not including recent misadventures.” I throw a dirty look at Kade who shrugs me off.

“Joe, Ian, Holden, and Ty,” Luca calls. All four men trade looks before Joe takes the lead.

“If we were worried about the recent happenings negatively impacting the fights, the concern was unfounded. We’ve never been busier,” he explains. The fights have always been a huge source of not only intel for us, but also a key piece in the way we network. Most of our jobs come from the fights. It’s the place to go to get in contact with us. As if he’s reading my mind, Joe continues. “There has been some unease over the lack of your presence at the fights. More people are realizing who the right people to talk to are, but since we aren’t taking any jobs right now, it doesn’t do much to help settle the unrest.”

My fingers tap out an uneven beat as I process that. It’s not something I had really considered these last few months. We’ve tightened ship and pretty much stopped interacting with anyone outside of our circles. The only exception has been Rachel, but word has surely gotten around about her status as a Rose by now.

I shrug. It can’t be helped. We don’t have any room to add something else to our plates. People are just gonna have to survive without us. “Put out word that the only form of payment we are currently taking is information on Romano.”

Joe snickers but nods his head. Should have done that ages ago. It may not bear any results, but it should paint a target on Romano’s back. An even bigger one than what I’ve already put there. Anyone who is desperate for our help will now be looking into him too. It won’t hurt us.

Holden clears his throat. “There’s been talk that St Graves won’t ever be the same after this.”

“It won’t be,” Declan says simply. The silence echoes around us as we all absorb the truth in his statement. We’ve come out from the shadows and blood has run down these streets. We’ve gone too far to go back now. “It may have been our home before, but St Graves is ours now. Nothing will happen in this city without our okay.”

Holden nods. “That’s exactly what people are saying. The Bleeding Roses own these streets and the city will be a death sentence to anyone that dares rise against us. Because of that, we have more people than ever at the fights. More and more fighters are aiming for a card to train with us.”

“Have you given out any new ones?” Kade asks.

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