Page 90 of All Bets Are Off

“Fine!” I yield. “We will fucking watch her, see what we can find out, but we do nothing until we know for sure, alright?” I direct my question to all of them but keep my eyes on Ash.

He doesn’t want to make a deal with me, he wants to ask for more, to beg for it, and if he does I would give it to him so I pray he doesn’t.

We share a silent stare off until finally he breaks. “Okay, deal.”

None of us look happy about how the morning has turned out, especially after we were all looking forward to last night and Brielle’s reward. We just wanted it to be like old times, but we all need to accept those days are gone. Most of all Ash.

We all agree to keep tabs on her, but I can tell Z and I are just doing it to placate Ash, but at least he looks happy that we are finally listening to him.

I don’t think he realizes how far I am willing to go to make things better for him.

I just don’t know what we are gonna do if he is right about her.

ChapterThirty-Four

Their eyes followmy every move. I can feel them as I walk from class to class, when I go to lunch with Shelby, even on my breakfast dates with Carson.

Their gazes brand me, letting me know I have not a single moment of peace.

I have to watch every interaction, every forced smile, every casual touch. Every single action is being scrutinized as if I live under a microscope.

Who would have thought that so much would change on Halloween night? My reward has only turned into a series of punishments, for myself and for them. I can’t even bring myself to look into Hudson’s eyes any longer without recalling the way I begged for him. Without feeling the ghost of his touch against my skin and in my most intimate places. Without hearing his dirty words echoing in my ears.

One moment to feel like his was not enough. Will never be enough. I want a lifetime of knowing what it feels like to be his, to be theirs. I’m so close to making my dream a reality, well maybe not a reality. Even if I have shared moments with three of them now, doesn’t mean I’ll be able to break free from Carson and live happily ever after being shared by the four of them.

At first, all four of them tried to pull me into conversations. It reminded me of the first few weeks after I had them detained and questioned. Arrested is far too dramatic, even for them. That same crushing feeling of knowing I was hurting them with every ignored phone call, pretending not to be home when they stopped by, and each unanswered text message is back. Each time one of them attempted to pull me in to talk about that night at the party, to try and figure out why I said the things I did. Why I acted the way I did. I’ve run.

I’m so close to being able to tell them everything, but if I jump the gun, we could lose everything. It’ll be too late for them to ever forgive me because there will be nothing left to salvage.

They gave up quicker this time around, knowing that I can be more stubborn than all of them combined. It’s what got us to this place after all. Instead, they have clearly decided to sit back and watch. To study me and come up with their own conclusions.

I don’t know what I’m more scared of. Them realizing the truth. Or them writing their own version of it.

My eyes trail over the restaurant as Carson drones on. I’ll never understand why we are forced to out on this charade in such a public way. A sweet breakfast date? As if. Who would really buy into the fact we must have a happy relationship because we have this set date once a week?

Carson ordered for me and the plain almond quinoa oatmeal tastes like ash on my tongue. I wanted the salmon and poached eggs. Asshole. I twirl my spoon through the unappetizing meal as he continues talking. I nod at all the right places, keeping my demure smile in place.

His anger has become more and more outright as the DeBose’s have dominated the gossip mills. Even his little bitch boy, Halstead, has started talking back to Carson. The order of the house that had almost been established, is rapidly crumbling around him.

With each new day, brings a new round of unexpected torture. Whether it’s listening to his drivel or being forced to participate in frat house bullshit to earn him more points, it all fucking sucks. And thanks to the guys, keeping such a close eye on me, I can never allow my mask to slip. Not even for a moment.

“Hurry and finish,” Carson scolds. “We have things to do back at the house.”

I tamper back the sigh, of course we do. I take one more bite before primly wiping my mouth with a napkin and setting it atop the table. “I’m ready when you are.” He studies me suspiciously before rising and putting his arm out for me to grab onto.

He leads me out of the restaurant, tipping the valet as we move. He opens the car door for me and helps me slide into the car, leaning down to give me a kiss as he does. When he gets into his own seat and closes the door behind him, he gives me that same suspicious look again. “You’ve been well behaved the last few weeks,” he remarks.

At least my plan worked somewhat. There was hell to pay the night of the undie run and again on Halloween, but I’ve gotten a few weeks reprieve since then. Almost all of my bruises have faded and even the ache in my ribs has lessened to the point it doesn’t hurt every time I move. Carson hasn’t been outright angry or aggressive with me since Halloween night, and has not touched me sexually since. I’m not totally free and clear. He’s still intent on creating the perfect picture that I must be a part of. His slimy hands still touch me all over in public and he sometimes vents his little frustrations out on me. A sharp pinch here, a shove up against the wall there. It’s sad and pathetic, but I’ve been almost relieved at the break it’s all provided.

“It’s like you said,” I answer with a shrug. “This will go a lot better for the both of us if I just cooperate.”

His fingers dance along the steering wheel. “It’s not like you to stop fighting.”

I stare out the window, trying to avoid his sharp and calculating gaze. I lift my shoulder in a casual shrug as I force words out that make my stomach turn. “It’s not like you aren’t able to make me feel good.” Lies. All lies. “And it’s not like I’m with someone like,” I hesitate before scowling as I meet his eyes. “Davis.” I make a fake gagging sound. “I’m not in the worst position in the world. Might as well enjoy what I can.”

He preens under my words, but his fingers don’t stop their dance. He wants to believe me but he’s far too shrewd for that. It's a dangerous road I’m walking, taunting him. Tempting him. It’s one I know I’m going to have to pay the price for in flesh and blood. I thought long and hard about the way to handle Carson after Halloween. If I continued to take the nearly daily abuse, it was only a matter of time before I wound up in the hospital. I probably should have gone for my ribs and head already.

If I can control it, use it to my advantage, I can turn his desire for me into my very own weapon. I can give in and save myself from some of the abuse, just long enough to buy time for Shelby to get access to everything I need.

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