Page 18 of All Bets Are Off

I lean up on my tiptoes and whisper almost silently, “I’m not your plaything, Carson.” I can’t help but stand up for myself at least a little bit, no matter how pointless it may seem.

He pulls away from me to meet my eyes. That calculating and smug look back in his eyes. The monster he hides under his porcelain mask. “You’re whatever I tell you to be, Brielle.” His words are as silent as mine were. No chance anyone would have heard either of us.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Darling.”

I don’t bother to respond as I turn and walk down the path and start walking back to the dorms. I hear the door shut quickly behind me and for the first time since English started, I take a deep breath.

I didn’t have high hopes for my time here at BSU, but apparently even that was too optimistic.

The only things I’ll find in these halls are betrayal, misery, and loneliness.

ChapterEight

The cool eveningair helps clear my head as I walk.

I run my hand over the back of my head where I can still feel the impact of hitting the door. I guess I should just feel thankful it wasn’t against a wall. But still, the unexpected change in Carson is now thumping at the back of my skull as I try and figure out how the hell I got here.

Nothing about today went the way I had expected, even in all my worst case scenarios, I never pictured everything getting so fucked up. Tears pool in my eyes as I press my fingertips to the base of my throat again. I’ve never felt so violated and helpless before. I shiver despite myself and wrap my arms around my body. I never thought Carson would push this far. I knew he wanted everyone to believe we were in a relationship, but today was the first time he ever acknowledged that he truly wanted me.

He’s hinted at it and skirted around the issue, but never has he been so blatant in his desires to go as far as saying I should choose him for real. If he’s willing to go this far, how much further will he go? How much more will he take from me?

He has me by the throat and he knows it. He doesn’t care about right or wrong, or fairness. If he did, he never would have blackmailed me in the first place. What is his end goal in this whole thing? I thought he just wanted the power that comes from being tied to the Montgomery name, but I’m not so sure anymore.

The question that scares me the most is the one that I can’t stop from running through my mind on an endless loop. How much longer will a fake relationship be enough to appease him?

I wipe furiously at my face as tears spill over. I’m not this girl. I don’t cry as I walk home alone. I’ve never had this before, never had no one to turn to for help or advice. No one to call. No one to vent to and fall into their arms. I’ve never been so utterly alone. I never realized how heinous I would find it to be all on my own.

People used to claim I was too dependent on the guys, I guess they were right. It just took losing them to make me see it.

Do I have the strength to bear this burden alone? To walk this path riddled with lies, punishments, and shame without an ounce of sympathy or care?

I sigh to myself.

Enough, Brielle. You will be as strong as you have to be to get through this. We have no choice. The guys have spent years protecting you. It’s your turn to protect them.

Ah, yes, here we go. Problem solved. I can always talk to myself.

Day one of BSU and I’m already going certifiably insane. Aren’t we off to a great start? I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings.

I shake the melancholy feelings off. I don’t want Shelby to realize anything is amiss. I’m sure she has already heard about what happened today and will be looking to support me. It’s for the best if she thinks I’m unfazed by the prank. The last thing I need is for her to be keeping a close eye on me out of concern. I’m already going to be too close to her thanks to our living arrangements, I can’t have her digging any deeper.

I hurry down the hall towards our room, avoiding meeting the eyes of any of the girls here, not wanting to hear any bullshit about today's prank. Thankfully, no one has noticed me and I plan to keep it that way. My key is already in my hand by the time I make it to the door and I waste no time unlocking it and pushing it open.

Everything stops. Nothing existing except what my eyes are now seeing.

I wish I would have hesitated to open the door, wish I would have taken longer on my walk instead of rushing across campus, but fate is a fickle bitch and here I stand.

Just when I thought my day couldn’t get any worse, I’m proved wrong.

The first thing I spot are a pair of shoes lying haphazardly on the floor by the door, far too big to be Shelby’s, and that’s without the owner of them standing right in the middle of the room.

A masculine laugh fills my ears. If it weren’t so harshly familiar, I would make a joke about putting a sock on the door. But I’d know that laugh anywhere. I have been the reason behind it for too many memories for me to even recall right now.

I feel sick and tears threaten to spill all over again as the presence of Zaiden Hollis in my dorm room consumes me. He’s here, half dressed, and laughing like he owns the goddamn world and is happy to make it burn around me. I can’t let him notice just how much his presence here affects me. Can’t let him see that despite whatever treachery he may have just committed I want nothing more than to collapse into him and let his arms wrap around me and tell me everything is going to be okay. But it’s not okay. I don’t think it ever will be again.

I swallow thickly. Pushing all of the hurt, the regret, the jealousy, into a tight little ball and shoving it down deep inside of me. So deep down that even I won’t be able to find it again.

I force my eyes up and find his cold green eyes already locked on mine, just waiting for me to meet them. His shocking blond hair is messed up with a clear sign of bed head. There is a slight pink tint to his cheeks as if he has just got back from a run, but we both know that isn’t the physical activity he has just taken part in. My traitorous eyes dip down to his muscular stomach leading to his ridiculously toned deep V that only comes from hours of football training. Lord the times I have fantasized about dragging my fingers across it, about what it would look like above me. I guess I can add Shelby to the list of girls who have actually experienced it in real life.

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