Page 53 of Temptress

She smiled shyly and nodded before turning and skipping out of the room, leaving me to wait for word on Darcy by myself.

25

SILAS

Isat in the stiff, uncomfortable chain in my daughter’s hospital room, staring at her sleeping form, unable to look away or even blink for fear that something could happen in that millisecond and I could lose her.

My heart hadn’t been beating right since I got that call from Kim, and even an hour and a half later, after finding out my baby girl was going to be just fine—well, just fine once her fucking arm healed—I still felt a skipped beat every few minutes.

This was my fault. When we moved here, I’d sworn that I would put her first, above all else, then at the first fucking hurdle, I’d crashed and burned. She’d been scared and in pain, alone in an ambulance on her way to the hospital, and where the fuck had I been?

I’d let my dick have control, ignoring what was most important in the favor of getting off. I was no better now than I’d been Darcy’s entire life. I hadn’t changed, not really. I was the same piece of shit loser I’d always been. The asshole who let down his family at every turn. I’d been kidding myself thinking I could change, that I could be better.

And Christ, but that realization hurt like hell.

My cellphone vibrated in my pocket, and I pulled it out to see it was Kim. Not wanting to wake Darcy now that she’d finally gotten to sleep, I moved quietly from the room into the hallway, pulling her door closed behind me before I answered.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” Kim’s voice came out scratchy and hoarse, and I knew it was because she’d been crying, probably sitting in her place in London, worried sick because I’d dropped the ball. A-fucking-gain. “How’s our girl doing?”

“Asleep, finally. Took until the meds kicked in to dull the pain in her arm, but she’s finally out.”

“Are you still at the hospital?”

My back went stiff. There was no accusation in her tone, but I could only imagine what she was thinking. “Of course. I’m not going anywhere until they say she’s good to go home. I know I let you down, but something like this won’t ever happen again. You have my word, Kim.”

She released a heavy sigh through the line. “Si, you didn’t let me down. She’s a kid. Kids break bones, it’s just a fact of life. There’s really nothing we can do to stop it from happening.”

“That’s—” I had to stop, closing my eyes against the burn in my chest and throat. I practiced my deep breathing and counted to ten in my head before I felt in control enough to try again. “That’s not what I’m talking about, doll. And I think you know it.”

“Silas,” she started, her tone holding a hint of warning. “I’ve already told you, I don’t blame you for not being there, okay?”

“If I’d answered the goddamn phone when the school called, they wouldn’t have had to call you and you wouldn’t have had to stress out when you couldn’t reach me. That’s on me, Kim. That’s my fuck-up. You were freaking out and Darce was scared out of her fucking mind. I’ll never forgive myself for not being there when she needed me.”

“I wish you wouldn’t say that,” she whispered. “It’s not like you disappeared for hours or days, Silas. It was less than half an hour in total. You need to cut yourself some slack. You’re human. Human’s fuck up every now and then. Even ones as perfect as you,” she finished in a teasing tone, trying to cut the tension. But I couldn’t let it go.

“It’s got to be late there, sweetheart. You should get to bed. I’ve got it here. I’ve already bugged the nurses for a pillow and blanket so I can camp out in the shitty little recliner they have in her room.”

“Yeah,” she said on a breath. “Maybe you’re right. I am pretty tired.”

That, too, was my fault. “Get some rest. I’ll have Darcy FaceTime you in the morning.”

“Okay, Si. Goodnight.”

“’Night, sweetheart,” I murmured.

I ended the call and leaned back against the wall, dropping my head back and squeezing my eyes closed as the events of the past few hours played in my head over and over. Guilt and shame washed over me, resting on my shoulders like bricks, weighing me down.

“Hey.” At Sloane’s quiet, gentle voice, my eyes popped open. I lifted my head and looked down at her. Until that moment, I’d forgotten she was even there. I’d been so focused on Darcy, it had slipped my mind that I’d left her in the waiting room more than an hour ago. As if I didn’t already have enough to feel shitty about.

“Hey. You’re still here.”

Her smile was small, timid, like she wasn’t sure what to do with herself. “Yeah. I didn’t want to leave until I knew how she was doing.” She pointed toward the door of Darcy’s hospital room. “Is—is she okay?”

I inhaled deeply through my nose. “She will be. She’s sleeping right now.” I could feel my heartbeat behind my eyeballs, the sign of an impending headache I knew was going to be a son of a bitch. “I’m really sorry for not coming back to the waiting room.”

She shook her head quickly. “No, don’t be. I totally get it.”

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