Page 55 of Seductress

“Look, Hardin, I know why you’re here.” I turned to face him slowly. He was still standing by the door, like he was just waiting for me to leave.

I knew what was coming, and I wasn’t going to drag this out any longer than necessary. “Can I ask why?” My throat felt like it was being rubbed with sandpaper, but I still managed to get the words out.

He hung his head, reaching up to rub the back of his neck, and my mind couldn’t help but go back to earlier that morning when Keith did the same thing. It hit me then, the irony of what was happening. Two blows in one day by the only two men I’d ever loved. I might have laughed if it wasn’t so goddamn sad.

“It wasn’t one thing,” he began to explain. “We agreed we’d take this one day at a time, and we did. It’s just that those days have reached an end.”

A noise of incredulity bubbled from my throat as I blinked to fight against the burn of tears at the back of my eyes. “It reached an end. That’s funny. I didn’t feel the end coming. I mean, I guess I always knew it was there. I could sense that you had one foot out the door from the beginning. But I didn’t realize we were already so close to the end of the line.”

His chest rose on a deep inhale, the silence that was filling the room almost overpowering. “I’m sorry,” he finally said. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

A single tear broke free before I could stop it, and I quickly reached up to bat it away, silently willing the rest to hold until I could get out of there. “It’s my own fault. I always knew there was something keeping you from going all in with me.” I shook my head as a bitter laugh escaped my lips. “It’s my own stupidity for falling for you anyway.”

“Hardin—” he croaked, taking a step forward, but I held up my hand to stop him.

It took an act of strength I didn’t know I was capable of, but I managed to keep my voice from wobbling as I lifted my chin high and squared my shoulders. “I’m not going to beg you to feel for me how I feel for you. I have more pride than that, but I think the least I deserve is to know what has held you back this whole time. You were the one who pushed for this, Ford. I told you I could give you my friendship, but you said that wasn’t enough. You owe me the truth.”

He moved away from the door, stepping past me and reaching for a large 8x10 frame that was sitting on the coffee table.

He handed it to me without a word, and I turned it over to reveal a stunning blonde woman holding an adorable little blonde girl with matching features on her hip. Both of them were smiling so big for the camera, it was nearly blinding. If I had to guess, the little girl was around four or five, just a little younger than Hazel, but I didn’t understand what I was looking at.

I lifted my gaze from the photo to Ford. “What is this? Who are these people?”

“My wife, Phoebe, and our daughter, Naomi.”

It felt like the earth had shifted on its axis, throwing me completely off balance. I’d been knocked for a loop, quite literally. That blow shoved all the air right out of my lungs. “Your—” I had to force my lungs to cooperate, closing my eyes and focusing hard to fill them back up. “You have adaughter?”

“Had a daughter,” he corrected, stunning me speechless. “I had a daughter and a wife, and now they’re both gone.”

“How—?” I stopped to shake my head, struggling to wrap it around the truth Ford had been keeping from me this whole time.

“They were in a car accident,” he said, answering the question I hadn’t been able to get out. “About a year before I moved to Grapevine.”

“Oh my god,” I breathed, my feet carrying me over to the chair that faced the couch before my knees gave out. “Oh my god, Ford. I’m so—I don’t even know what to say. I’m so sorry. Does Owen know?”

He shook his head. “No one knows. I moved here to get away from all the memories. I wanted to start over.”

I felt like I was missing some crucial pieces of the puzzle that didn’t make sense to me. “Why would you do that? Ford, why would you hide them away? I’ve been here more than once, and I’ve never seen any signs of them.”

He snatched the frame from my hand so fast I shrank back. “It doesn’t matter. All you need to know is I have my reasons. You asked why I always had one foot out the door, this is why, right here.” His voice was ravaged, and if my heart hadn’t been in the process of breaking so completely for myself, it would have shredded for him.

“I had forever once already. I had that once in a lifetime. It didn’t last as long as it was supposed to, and I’ve made a promise to myself that I’m never going down that road again. I can’t feel for you the way you feel for me because I’ve done it already, Hardin. That’s the truth.”

I wasn’t sure if I could have hurt any worse if he’d actually reached into my chest and ripped my heart out with his bare hands. He’d skated around using the actual words, but hearing the man you’d fallen in love with basically tell you he could never love you back because he loved someone else was a blow I wouldn’t have wished on my worst enemy.

I wasn’t sure how I managed, but I got to my feet without my legs going out from under me and moved to the door. As soon as my fingers wrapped around the knob, he spoke again. “I’m so sorry, Hardin. I wish—I wish I could give you what you want. I never wanted to hurt you. You have to believe that.”

I knew if I turned around to look at him, I’d lose it. I was hanging on by a thread as it was. But there was still one last thing to say.

“If you never wanted to hurt me, you would have accepted my friendship when it was offered instead of pushing for more, but you were determined to take what you wanted.”

With that said, I wrenched the door open and walked out. And I made damn sure to keep my head held high while I did it. He didn’t deserve to see me cry, so I’d hold that back until I got home.

26

HARDIN

It had been four days since Ford ended us, and I still hurt as badly now as I had when I walked away from him. If he’d come into Junior’s for a meal, I didn’t know it, because I’d kept to myself in my office every day.

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