Page 47 of Seductress

Her nostrils flared and her eyes grew hazy as her eyelids drooped to half-mast. Christ, she looked beautiful when her desire for me shined through.

Unfortunately, she was damn good at shaking it off. She pushed herself to standing, the smile on her face the same one she designated for the rest of her customers. However, her voice remained hushed, her words only for me. “We’re getting sloppy,” she warned. “If we aren’t more careful, we’re going to broadcast what we’re doing to the entire restaurant. We need to tone it down.”

That was the last thing I wanted to do. As irrational as I knew it was, I wanted to kiss her in front of all these people. I wanted all the men who looked at her with appreciation in their eyes to know she was taken, that she was mine.

But she wasn’t. Not really. At least, not for the long haul. Truth was, we had an expiration date, a time limit. Eventually, this would be over, and if I did something as stupid as announce to the whole town that I was the bastard lucky enough to warm her bed, at least for the time being, it would only make the end messy as hell, and I hated the thought of that for her.

As much as I didn’t want to, I forced myself to pull back.

“Order up,” her cook called, and she moved quickly, grabbing the pizza tray he’d placed in the serving window and bringing it over to me.

“Here you go. Let me know if you need anything else.” She shot me a playful wink. “You know where I’ll be.”

With that, she moved off to take care of her other customers, and I took the pizza I’d been waiting for back to the tables my crew and I had filled. Their grubby hands flew in, slices being pulled off left and right. I took my seat and got in there before the whole damn thing was gone, coming out with a slice of sausage, my hand fortunately still attached.

We’d swung into Junior’s after finishing up a call where a woman thought she smelled gas. Fortunately, she’d bumped into one of the knobs on her stove, accidentally turning it on, and it was as easy as airing the place out. We’d started talking about lunch, and because I couldn’t go more than two minutes without thinking about Hardin, I’d suggested pizza. Then I’d gotten lost in her and forgotten my entire unit was with me while I flirted with the woman I couldn’t get out of my head.

I dug in with everyone else, when halfway through my first slice, I felt Palmer’s eyes drilling into the side of my face.

“What?”

His lips curved up in a smirk. “How long you been messin’ around with the pizza girl?”

Ice slithered down my spine, making it ramrod straight as a chill shot through my entire body. “Excuse me?”

He held up the hand not currently holding a slice in surrender. “Hey, man. I’m not judgin’. She’s cute as hell, funny, and can make a hell of a pie. Far’s I’m concerned, you could do a lot worse.”

I blinked, trying to formulate a response that wouldn’t expose what Hardin and I had been doing. “It’s not what you think—” I started, but he cut me off with a roll of his eyes.

“Look, I’m not trying to bust you or tell your secrets to everyone. It’s obvious you two are keeping this under wraps. But I saw you guys the night you gave her adorable kid a tour of the fire house. You were so focused on her, you didn’t notice me when you moved in a hell of a lot closer than a man without an interest should.”

Fuck. I’d been an idiot. I’d taken too many risks.

“Your secret’s safe with me,” he assured me, and I felt some of the tension that had knotted my shoulders start to melt away. At least until he spoke again. “I’m not gonna say a word to anyone. But I just want you to know I’m happy for you, man. You’ve been in a lot better mood lately, and I can only assume that has somethin’ to do with your girl. She obviously makes you happy, and that’s a great thing.”

“It’s not like that,” I insisted, something akin to panic suddenly churning in my gut. “We’re just having fun.”

Palmer let out a snort and took another bite of his pizza, speaking around the food in his mouth. “Yeah, I know all about that kind of fun. That was the kind of fun that landed me with three kids and a fifteen-year marriage. Not a bad kind of fun to have if you ask me. I’ve watched you guys together. You’ve got it bad, my man. You tell her you love her yet?”

“You’re way off the mark, man.”

He looked at me, finally taking in that I was quickly and quietly starting to freak out in the middle of Junior’s.

“Okay,” he said, his tone taking on a placating feel, like he was talking to one of his kids who was in the midst of a panic attack. “If you say it’s not like that, it’s not.”

“It’s not,” I clipped between gritted teeth. “I—I don’t love her,” I insisted, but the words left a sour, acrid taste on my tongue. Saying those words twisted my stomach into knots, like my body was physically revolting against them, but I pushed the feeling down. Because it was the truth. I didn’t love her. I couldn’t. I’d had my once in a lifetime already, and I didn’t want a second. I knew from experience how fucking bad it hurt when you lost it, and that was a pain I never wanted to feel again.

“Okay, man. If you say so, I believe you,” Palmer said, but I knew he was only saying that for my benefit.

As hard as it was, I forced myself to calm the hell down. We eventually finished our lunch and headed back to the station. I put on a good show the rest of my shift, but inside, I was spinning out of control.

22

FORD

Ihadn’t been able to sleep all damn night, tossing and turning in the small twin-sized bed. Every time I drifted off, the nightmares came, worse than they’d been in years.

The flashing emergency lights against the night sky, the black cement under my boots. The smell of burned rubber and something even worse, a metallic smell that stung my nose, that I could still smell to this day.

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