Page 10 of Her Vow to Be His Desert Queen

Oh, she did. It had felt as if she’d lost part of her soul. As if he’d taken all her passion and joy and optimism with him when he’d left, leaving her with only the worst parts of herself. The fear and the anger and the grief.

She’d been in a dark place after that, and it had only been sheer determination and the needs of her charity that had stopped her from succumbing to the pain and falling into the darkness. She wasn’t going back there, not ever.

Turning away would be an admission of weakness, but she couldn’t stand the intensity in his eyes, or the gravitational force of his physical charisma, so she glanced out of the window at the landscape unrolling beneath them instead, pretending it was an idle look, nothing more.

‘You should have talked to me first.’ She smoothed the fine black wool of her trousers.

‘I did talk to you first.’

‘That was not a discussion.’

There was no response, and she couldn’t help glancing back, only to find that his dark, disturbing gaze hadn’t moved. ‘Do not be afraid,ya hayati,’ he said, his voice softer and quieter. ‘You know I will not hurt you.’

Too late for that, she wanted to say. But she didn’t.

She smoothed the fabric of her trousers yet again, trying to find her equilibrium. ‘Purely out of interest, why are you so set on marrying me? You must have more suitable candidates surely?’

Again, he was silent, his gaze just as enigmatic as it had been seconds earlier. ‘I think now is not the time for that conversation. We will talk more about that when we get there.’

Briefly Sidonie considered arguing, but he’d always been a stubborn man and she suspected he’d be absolutely impossible now. Besides, getting emotional never helped anything—she’d learned that all too well. Her aunt had hated any what she termed ‘fusses’. Best to keep her head as she had the moment he’d walked into the pub.

‘And where is there?’ she enquired. ‘Surely we’re not flying all the way to Al Da’ira in your helicopter?’

The intensity had died out of his eyes and he was now regarding her with a certain detached amusement. ‘No. I have changed my mind. I am taking you out to dinner instead.’

Surprise rippled through her. ‘Dinner?’

‘We have not seen each other for some time and you have doubts. Therefore we need to talk and I did not want to talk in that pub. There are more pleasant places to discuss our marriage, so it is to one of them that we are going. Also, it is your birthday.’

‘Our’marriage, he’d said. As if it was already a foregone conclusion. As if she had no say in this whatsoever. It reminded her of the day her parents had died, after her aunt had collected her from school, told her the awful news, and had brought her back home, even though it wasn’t her home any longer. May had instructed her to collect her things, because Sidonie would be coming to live with her. The look on her aunt’s face as she’d said it had been pure resignation, and Sidonie had known then and there that her aunt hadn’t wanted to be saddled with her. But, since May had been her only living relative, neither of them had had a choice.

‘Keep carrying on like that and I’ll drop you at the nearest orphanage,’May had told her once, when Sidonie had had a tantrum about something small.‘The only reason you’re here at all is because I had a duty to your father. But don’t think I can’t change my mind.’

Sidonie had never thought that. In fact, she’d lived in fear of it, making sure she wasn’t demanding or bothersome. Being careful not to cause any ‘fuss’. She toed the line, giving her aunt no reason to complain.

It had been hard, but then again, she’d been a child and hadn’t had a choice about any of it. It was either her aunt or a foster home and she hadn’t wanted that either.

The memory made anger gather into a tight, hot ball, shot through with jagged edges of hurt, but she calmly folded her hands over it, keeping it inside. ‘And where is dinner?’

This time his smile touched his dark eyes briefly, a flash of his old warmth, and her heart gave a little quiver in her chest. ‘I thought we’d have dinner in Paris.’

For the second time in an hour, Sidonie found herself blinking at him. Paris? He was taking her to Paris?

She fought to find her voice. ‘In that case it’s a pity I don’t have my passport.’

‘You do,’ he said. ‘I had my staff retrieve it. Your cat will also be taken care of.’

That hot ball squeezed tight inside her. ‘But I have work—’

‘I will contact your supervisor and inform them that you will not be there tomorrow,’ Khalil interrupted smoothly. ‘Do not worry.’

Shock at the sheer gall of the man stole her breath. He’d somehow found out where she lived and got her passport, had her cat taken care of, and now he thought he could ring her ‘supervisor’ and tell them she wouldn’t be there. As if she were nothing more than a chess piece he could move around whenever he liked, with no thought to her feelings.

Something prickled at the backs of her eyes, but it surely couldn’t be tears. She didn’t cry about anything these days. It didn’t matter that he was treating her as if she was a stranger he didn’t particularly care about. Because she didn’t care either.

She didn’t care about him.

‘I’m sure you didn’t used to be this arrogant,’ she said. ‘What happened?’

---