Page 70 of Tamed

The thought almost brought tears to my eyes, but I blinked them away. I had to keep what little power I had, and all of that power was concentrated in the word ‘no’.

The lines of his face had hardened, the glitter in his obsidian eyes sharp, and he looked at me for a long time without speaking, drawing the tension in the room to screaming point. Then he said quietly, “I know what you’re doing. You think I can’t read every thought in your head? You’re afraid. You’re afraid of what you want. You’re afraid of me changing my mind. You’re afraid of being too much trouble and so you’re trying to push me away. You’re afraid of surrendering to me.”

“No,” I whispered helplessly, even though every word was true. “I’m…not.”

He was silent a moment or two. “Do you know what a daddy does, Isabel?” he asked at last, his voice deep and threaded through with heat, and he didn’t wait for me to answer. “A daddy takes care of his little girl. He sees to her needs, to her pleasure. He makes her feel good. He protects her. It’s not about bending her to his will or treating her badly. It’s about making her feel safe.”

The way he said the words and the slight softness of his voice touched the fear inside me, soothing it, sanding the rough edges off it, and before I knew what I was doing, I said, “I don’t want you think I’m weak or powerless. Or like I’m this helpless little—”

“No,” he interrupted flatly. “Do you really think I see you as weak and powerless? After you’ve spent the last decade fighting me and generally making my life hell?”

He’s right. Youareafraid and that’s exactly what you’re afraid of.

I swallowed, not wanting to admit it. “I don’t know.”

“The truth now, little girl.”

Fuck. “Okay, yes,” I forced out. “That’s what I think.”

“Well don’t,” he said. “I have never seen you as helpless or weak. But tonight isn’t about the fight. Tonight is about the surrender.”

A shiver went through me, as if part of me that had been hanging onto something for dear life was finally easing its grip. “Why do I have to surrender?” I asked, still holding on a little. “Why can’t it be you?”

His hard mouth softened and curved slightly, the sight of his rare smile making my chest ache. “You think I’m not surrendering to you right now? I didn’t want to be anyone’s fucking daddy, Isabel. I like orders, but I’m not a caregiver and I never wanted to be. But you…” His gaze searched my face and the heat in it warmed me right through. “You turned the world upside down that night in Arcadia, and now this is all I can think about. This is for me as much as it is for you, understand? That’s why I’m still here. I want to protect you, be responsible for you. See to your needs. Look after you the way Ten never managed.” He reached out and touched my cheek, his fingers brushing lightly over it. “Surrendering to me is a choice, it’s not something that I can take. You have to give it to me otherwise it doesn’t count. It’s a gift, don’t you see? And it’s a powerful gift. Because it’s your trust you’re giving to me.”

I hadn’t ever seen it like that. I’d only thought that following his orders meant I was weak and powerless. But looking up at him now, I could see that he believed every word that he’d said. That itwasa gift I was giving him, and one he wanted very much.

“Why?” I asked. “Why do you want this?”

The hard cast of his features softened still further, in a way I’d never seen before. Making him look almost…approachable. “Because you fight when you’re afraid.” His fingers trailed down the side of my cheek to my jaw and he cupped it. “And if I don’t want you to fight, I want to make you feel safe. This is one way I can do that.”

But you’ve always felt safe with him.

Physically yes. He’d always protected me, and he’d always had my best interests at heart. Yet part of my fear was that deep down I’d always question whether I’d ever be enough for him. Because when I had ever been enough for anyone? For Dad I’d been a constant reminder of the love he’d lost and then a source of constant worry. I hadn’t been a good thing for him.

Caleb’s hand was warm on my skin, and I found myself leaning into it. “What if…what if I’m not enough for you?” I asked in a scratchy voice, half not wanting to ask because it felt like such a deeply exposing question, and half desperate to know. “What if you really do decide I’m too much trouble and walk away?”

He didn’t say anything immediately, staring down at me. Then quite suddenly, he gripped my jaw and bent his head, covering my mouth with his. It was another of his devouring kisses, hot and raw, deep and carnal, making me shake. I wanted to kiss him back, my hands lifting to touch him, but he pulled back just as suddenly. There were black flames in his eyes, a hunger burning bright. “You’re enough for me, Isabel.” His voice so deep and so hot it just about scalded me. “You’ve always been enough for me. So why don’t you take off your clothes and I’ll show you how much?”

My mouth felt sensitized, my skin tight, and somewhere inside me, the fear that had been there so long I’d forgotten its existence, slowly relaxed and dissipated.

He wanted this, he wanted me, and knowing that was exactly what I needed. I wanted him, too. I wanted to be his. I wanted all the things he’d told me he’d do for me, and while the whole daddy thing still felt weird, he’d made me more comfortable about liking it.

It was a choice I was making, and it was a powerful choice. A powerful gift. And he was worthy of that gift, I’d always thought that.

So, I didn’t say a word, I merely I grabbed the hem of my sweatshirt instead.

Caleb looked at me. “You forgot something.”

I froze. “Forgot what?”

“What do you say when your daddy gives you an order?”

My mouth dried, but I opened it. “Yes, Daddy,” I said hoarsely.

He smiled and I could see how much he’d liked me saying the words, liked me obeying him. And that made me like it too. That pleased me so much my heart felt as if it was pressing painfully against my ribs.

“Good girl,” he murmured. “Stay being good like that, and you might just get a little something for yourself. But until then, I gave you an order, remember?”

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