Page 31 of Running

PUMPKIN.

HE CALLSher pumpkin.

If Santo hadn’t of threatened mom, would I have been his pumpkin?

I’m already fighting back tears. The feel of Luca’s arm wrapping around me isn’t helping. He wants me to know I can crumble. I can break and he will hold me together. The deepest parts of me wants to. I want to so badly I am nearly trembling at the thought.

I have been the only one to hold myself together for so long. What would it be like to allow someone else in? To let them carry some of the burden.

I want that.

I can’t.

My mom trusted the family once. She trusted Bosco and look where it lead her. Twenty years on the run. No friends, no family. Sleeping in dingy apartments and flea invested motels. Living off of noodles and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Nearly dying because she couldn’t see a doctor until it was nearly too late.

My tears dry quickly. I won’t fall for their false promises. Look what it’s doing to Milan. For years she has believed she would marry Luca. She had her heart set on it. Now she is crushed and that burden falls to me.

I sneak a peek at Luca. He has dark circles starting under his eyes. The hard plains of his chest are felt against my arm and back from where he is pressing against me. Marrying him isn’t a burden in theory. He is gorgeous. He makes me laugh. Makes me want to trust.

He’s dangerous. Not just because of his role in the mafia. No. The threat is to my heart. If I let my walls down I would fall head over heels for him. Worse than Milan because I know he feels for me too. Our sexual chemistry is off the charts. Just standing near him has me wanting to rub my thighs together.

I can’t allow him to burrow himself any deeper and stir up more feelings. I need a plan.

He says if I run he will hunt me down. I have no doubt that he would. Luca is anything if not determined. Relentless. I’ve seen it with his mission against the Cartel. If his body and mind didn’t cease to be useful after days without sleep I’m sure he’d never rest.

Would Ronan be able to help me? Could he help me get away? I’d only need a little head start. Running for so long gives you a bag full of tricks.

I could fake my death again. Would Luca believe it? He would want a body. Undeniable proof.

Crap.

My mind whirls as I tune one ear back to Bosco and Milan. He’s stroking her hair and murmuring into her ear. I feel like a fraud. We’re intruding on their moment.

“Yes papa.” She says to him as she raises her eyes to him and wipes the tears away. His face looks heartbroken. Would he look the same when I leave? Would he care because he cares for me, or would he be upset that I left him with no heir? It would start a war.

Shit. Can I leave knowing I’d send the family into civil war? There would be casualties. Would Bosco or Luca be one of them?

What about my mom? She’s happy here. I can’t ask her to leave again.

“I love you Milan. I will always love you and be here for you. This changes nothing. You are my daughter. I don’t care what the tests say.”

He told her. He told her about her true parentage. How did I miss that? How long have I been lost in my own head?

She looks heartbroken. I knew it would crush her. I didn’t want it to. During the time I spent observing everyone I grew to like Milan. Not the version her mom designed. No, the one she hides in her bedroom. The one who spends her days reading physics books and taking on-line advanced literature classes. The dumb blond that she portrays in public is anything but the truth. She is brilliant.

I have long admired her strength and her commitment to her mother. Just like my love for my mother, Milan would do anything to make her mother happy and proud of her.

A small part of me had hoped we could be friends, one day even sisters. It was silly to hope. A sad dream I allowed myself to have knowing I can’t let anyone close.

“Do you know who my father is?” Milan asks. Her voice is soft. Different than usual. The mask Ravinia trained her to wear is gone. The true Milan is out and I doubt the mask will ever reappear. Today is the start of a new life for Milan. From the shadows I will make sure she is happy. Bosco will make sure she is protected from the visible threats. Me, I will hunt the ghosts. I can’t let her close to me, but I can do this for her. Like I’ve been doing for the family since I first learned of my father’s identity years ago.

“I do.” Bosco continues to stroke her hair. “He’s here. He’s always been here. He didn’t know until today either. Would you like to see him?” Bosco must see the struggle in her eyes. “You don’t have to. He knows you may not be ready.”

“Will he like me?”

Ricco steps forward. “He does. He’s proud of the woman you are. He didn’t know you were his, but he’s always been close.”

“He has?” Milan’s face lights up with interest.

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