Page 77 of Bad Decisions

My chest tightened as Emma wrapped her hand around Reagan's fingers. I stared at where they touched, a lump forming in my throat.

How could Reagan still want to travel? Why would she want to leave when she slotted into our lives so perfectly? Before her, we were struggling, but now...she brought so much light to our world and I couldn't imagine my life without her in it. I didn't want to imagine it.

* * *

We sankonto the couch with a sigh, Reagan's head resting against the back as she stared up at the ceiling with a soft smile. I stared at her, my heart squeezing at the gentleness on her face, the way she seemed so comfortable and at ease.

"Tonight was fun," she said, dropping her eyes to look at me. I cleared my throat and shifted in my seat.

"Thanks for helping put her down," I murmured. She shrugged and turned her attention back to the ceiling.

Tonight had felt like we were a real family. Like this was how our life was always supposed to be. Emma was thriving, I'd never been happier, and Reagan...she seemed lighter. Like she had a purpose. She didn't seem so lost.

"Can we talk?" she whispered. My throat tightened at the words. I knew we needed to, but I wasn't ready. What if she ended everything? I didn't know how I'd handle it. How I'd survive it.

"Sure." I pushed to my feet and held my hand out to her. "In my room?" She chewed on her bottom lip before sliding her hand into mine and standing.

I led her from the living room, shutting the lights off as we went, and headed for my bedroom. Shoving the door open, I let her enter first. Her pajamas were still lying on the bed, ready for her to jump in to. Mine were beside them like it was normal.

And it was normal. It felt more normal than anything else ever had in my entire life.

She paused in front of the bed, her back to me as she stared down at it. I shut the door and leaned heavily on it, bracing myself for her words.

"I broke things off with Benji this afternoon," she muttered.

Okay. Not what I was expecting.

"How'd he take it?" I asked, and she let out a humorless laugh.

"How do you think? Like a well-adjusted, normal person. He was upset, but he respected my decision." She sighed as she ran her hand through her hair. "It would've been easier if he would've yelled at me."

"I would've had to kill him," I joked, even though I knew in my heart I really would've hurt him if he hurt her. Emotionally, physically, it didn't matter. If she was hurt, or upset, I'd fix it.

She turned toward me, a sardonic smile on her pretty face. "Sure."

"I would've," I insisted. "If he yelled at you or upset you," I shrugged, "dead man." She huffed out another laugh. She thought I was joking. Cute.

"I'm trying to be serious," she said, smiling. "We really need to talk, Eli." I let out a harsh breath, my shoulders slumping forward.

"I know." I moved to her and rested my hands on her hips. She tipped her head back to peer up at me. "If you break up with me, I can't promise I'll handle it as well as well-adjusted, perfect Benji." She rested her hand on my chest.

"Are we together enough for me to break up with you?" she murmured.

"Yes." It wasn't a hesitation. It wasn't a question. Of course, we were together. "I told you that you're mine."

"Yeah, but today—"

"You just caught me off guard," I rushed out. "If you still want to travel and work for Lotus, I'll support you. Whatever you choose to do with your life, I'll support it. And if that means you have to do it without me—" I cut myself off. "I can't say I'd be happy about losing you. But I'll never shut you out. My home will always be yours, Rae. No matter what happens, you're always welcome here."

Tears filled her eyes, and for a moment, I worried I said the wrong thing. Then she threw her arms around my neck and squeezed tight.

"You mean it?" she whispered. I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her to me.

"Of course, angel." I buried my face in her hair and inhaled her sweet scent. Three words formed on my lips, but I forced myself not to say them. I couldn't. I might ruin the moment if I moved too fast. I could scare her away.

Or maybe I just wasn't ready. Not yet.

But I felt it. I felt the truth of them to my core. I knew I loved her. I always had, and always would. But I couldn't say it.

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