Page 126 of Janessa

“You can’t hide forever.”

“I know.”

Kayleigh gave a nod, then said, “Let’s do this.”

Over the next few minutes, they got Janessa prepped for her shower. She kept her underwear on, and Kayleigh peeled off her sweatshirt, so she was just in a fitted tank top and her leggings.

After making sure her cast was completely covered and sealed off, Kayleigh helped her into the tub and onto the shower chair that had been in her bathroom since she’d gotten home from the hospital.

Janessa relaxed as Kayleigh turned on the water, relishing the warmth as it flowed over her. Kayleigh knew all the products she used, so Janessa didn’t have to do anything but sit there.

Well, sit there and listen to Kayleigh talk.

“Help me understand,” Kayleigh said. “I’ve tried to figure out why you’d break up with Will. If I had a man who made me smile the way Will made you smile, I would do what I could to keep him in my life. But you’re happy to let him go. Make me understand. Please.”

Janessa closed her eyes as Kayleigh worked the shampoo through her hair, rubbing her scalp in a way that felt so good. Unfortunately, she knew that staying quiet wouldn’t work with Kayleigh. In fact, it rarely worked with any of her siblings when they got fixated on something.

“It just needed to happen.”

Kayleigh tightened her fingers on Janessa’s scalp. “If it needed to happen, you shouldn’t have agreed to date him in the first place. That absolutely was not fair to Will. I’m pretty sure he was in it for the long haul. Your decision to end the relationship had to be a hit out of left field for him.”

Janessa couldn’t refute that, and the way Kayleigh phrased it had emotion gripping her throat, making it difficult to talk. It really had been selfish of her. She’d not shared her fears in detail with Will. He’d asked why she hadn’t dated, giving her the perfect opportunity to tell him.

She realized now that she should have given a truthful answer so that he could have decided for himself if he wanted to stand by his desire to go on a date with her. Of course, from what Jay had revealed earlier, Will had picked up on her reasons anyway.

“This breakupdidn’tneed to happen. If Will had cheated on you, it would have needed to happen. If Will had abused you, it would have needed to happen. What I’m not hearing from you is that you don’t love him anymore, and I know he still loves you. So I really don’t think it needed to happen.”

“The accident made me realize he could be taken from me the way my mom and dad were taken from us.”

“So instead of cherishing every day you might have together, you just tossed it all aside. That makes sense.”

Janessa hated it when Kayleigh was sarcastic, especially since it would have been something Janessa would have said if it wasn’t her in the situation.

“Do you think your mom regretted marrying your dad and having you and Jay?” Kayleigh asked. “Or did she make the most of the time she had, and then be grateful that God provided a family to take care of you and Jay when she realized that she couldn’t be there for you?”

Janessa really didn’t know the answer to those questions. She’d been too young when her dad had died to see how her mom had dealt with it. Janessa just remembered being very sad that her dad wasn’t around anymore. And then her mom hadn’t been around that much either since, as a single mom, she’d needed to work hard to pay the bills.

“It is your life—and well, Will’s too—so you’ll have to live with this decision. Just… I really want you to think and pray about this, Nessa. Don’t let fear rob you of a wonderful relationship. Pray about it and make sure that God is leading this decision and not your fear.”

Janessa didn’t have anything to say about that. The truth was that she hadn’t prayed about it. She knew that fear wasn’t a sound basis for making decisions, especially when she was giving more weight to that than to what God’s will might be.

When she’d decided to break up with Will, she hadn’t felt a sense of peace. A fleeting sense of relief, yes. But peace? No, there had been no peace.

If she’d been at peace about it, she would have gotten on with her life. She would have been back to work already rather than curling up in bed in her dark room, hardly eating or taking care of herself.

Kayleigh had finally fallen quiet, clearly deciding she’d given Janessa enough to think about. When she finished with Janessa’s hair, she said, “Do you want to shower now? Or did you already shower today?”

“I’ll shower now.”

“Okay. When you’re out, I’ll finish your hair.”

Alone in the bathroom, Janessa peeled off her wet underwear, then sat on the chair to wash her body. Once she was done, she used the handheld shower head to rinse off.

And if tears fell while she did it all, no one would ever know.

Wearily, she climbed from the tub, then sat down on a towel on the chair that had been brought into the bathroom so she didn’t have to struggle to stand while she dried herself off. She was grateful for all the assistance and helpful things her family had done for her, but she was so ready to be free of the cast on her leg.

Once she was dry, she pulled on her thick robe, then called for Kayleigh, who appeared almost immediately. “Ready?”

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