Page 32 of Billion-Dollar Attitudes

I woke up that morning feeling empty, just like I had for the last two weeks. It was Friday, and for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t looking forward to downtime. I just wanted to stay busy. Harper was on my mind, but I was far too hurt and confused about Sicily to make any decisions on that just yet. I wanted to be at my best, clear headed, and know what I wanted and felt before I was around my little girl again.

My little girl. The concept still felt so crazy and foreign to me. I went to bed one night a single guy, in love, and woke up the next day an instant father. It wasn’t Harper that freaked me out. She was already in my heart even before I found out, it was just the concept that I was going to be a rising force of influence, a teacher, a supporter for someone that I helped to create for the rest of my life. It was a bit nerve racking if I was being honest.

“A letter was sent up from the front desk. They received it yesterday but you were out so they held it until today,” my assistant said, setting the letter in front of me.

She eyed me carefully for a moment, telling me that there was something up but didn’t want to ask. I never really showed my emotions at work, so when I did, it was a huge deal. People took notice. I nodded and she left, closing the door behind her. I picked up the letter, getting ready to toss it in my inbox bin, figuring I could read it Monday, when the handwriting caught my eye. It looked just like the handwriting on several papers around Sicily’s house.

I knew I was probably just making that up in my mind, but I grabbed the letter opener anyway, slicing it open. I pulled out the typed letter and began to read.

“Dear Daniel,

I’m sorry to drop a note like this, but I knew you needed space and I wanted to respect that. I wanted you to know, before you found out from someone else that I have resigned my position with your company. By the time you read this I will be on my way back to Ohio. This in no way means I am taking Harper from you. I just don’t have a support system here and I knew working for your company would be uncomfortable. At the bottom of this letter I will put the address to where Harper and I will be living in case you want to send anything to her. You also have my number and are more than welcome to call and speak to her anytime. I would text first so that I can make sure to explain who is calling first. When you are ready, we can discuss what role you want to have in Harper’s life. Despite my choices in the past, you are welcome…no, more than that, wanted in Harper’s life.

Thank you for all you did while we were here,

Sicily”

I dropped the letter on my desk, my heart sinking into my stomach. A big part of me already knew this was going to happen. I knew that expecting her to stay here, with no one and go through all of this alone was ridiculous. But I didn’t think it would happen so quickly. I wasn’t sure if I was upset because of Harper or Sicily, or both. On one hand, I never wanted to speak to Sicily again, but on the other, the revelations realized did not erase what we had shared.

Calmly, I slipped the letter back in the envelope and slid it into my jacket pocket. I stood up and walked across the room, turning off the light. I couldn’t be there right then. I couldn’t stand to have another person look at me as if I were falling apart. Because the truth was, I was in complete fucking shambles.

Chapter Twenty-One

Two Weeks Later

Daniel

I laid on my back, floating on my surf board, staring up at the afternoon sun. I could feel the prickles of my non shaven face scratch against my neck as the waves rolled beneath me. My hand dangled over the edge of the board, the bottom of a half drunken bottle of whiskey was submerged in the cool waves.

I wasn’t actually drunk yet, much to my dismay. I had been holding the bottle since I got out to the inlet that morning. It was remnants from the sleepless night before. The last two weeks had really been a roller coaster for me. I went from recluse to angry, and then to drowned the pain in liquor. The lows were getting pretty low. But I didn’t give a damn. I hadn’t even looked at my phone in three days, tired of everyone asking me where I was.

Checking in with a quick text was enough to keep them from thinking I had been kidnapped, but the guys were completely stumped. I had kept Sicily a secret, not telling anyone yet about our budding romance.

I scoffed at the thought, taking a swig of the whiskey and cringing at the taste.

We didn’t know where we were headed yet, and I wanted to have our little bubble of existence before inviting the world in. Well, before I was able to do that, the bottom dropped out. The guys didn’t even know I was a father yet. I didn’t have anything left in me. I couldn’t get the words out to explain it all, so I just hid myself away, figuring eventually either the sea would swallow me and my bottle, or I would snap out of it and come back to life.

At that moment which way it was headed was a real tossup.

“So, is this where you live now?”

Ryder’s voice hit my eardrums and I cringed, realizing my time was up. They had skipped the humorous friend, the big brother kind of guy, and gone straight for the big guns. Ryder and I had always been closer than the others, and he was no bullshit. He didn’t tiptoe around my emotions. He wasn’t a blatant dick, but he told me what needed to be heard.

Problem was, I wasn’t ready to hear it yet.

I picked up my heavy head, finding Ryder standing on the shore of the estuary, not realizing I had drifted that far. I had actually hoped to hit land and realize I had drifted across to Tijuana, if the parrots didn’t get me first. I let out a deep sigh and pulled myself to a sitting position, holding my bottle between my knees as I half assed a paddle toward the edge. When I was close enough not to get estuary water in my mouth, I hopped off and dragged my board up over the rocks onto the shore.

“Why are you here?” I looked around at my surroundings. “And how the hell did you find me?”

He thumbed over toward the parking area, out of sight. “Saw your car. Asked around and someone told me they weren’t sure if you were a dead body or not, but they saw someone fitting your description floating out here.”

“Definitely dead,” I grumbled, unstrapping the wrist cuff and leaving my board on the edge of the rocks as i planted myself on the picnic table.

“You look like it,” Ryder said, following me over and sitting down. “And you kind of smell like it. What’s going on with you? You’ve been half human for three weeks, and two of them you’ve been completely gone. The only reason the detective on the murder case hasn’t sent out a search team is the random message we’d get from you letting us know you were alive.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I groaned. “Just go. I am not in the self realization stage yet.”

“Yeahhh,” Ryder said, rubbing his hands together. “Unfortunately the guys have had a powwow and they’ve basically said if I don’t fix this, and get you back to at least looking somewhat human instead of this weird half wolf man with a wetsuit for a skin thing, they’re gonna get intervention teams going.”

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